=576= Words Of Melancholy: Tired

When you stop giving, it becomes too difficult.

Is it really that hard to foresee the outcome?

I am tired.

Tired of trying too hard.

There needs to be a response back you know.

The more you don’t want to give, the harder it is.

I don’t want to say, “I give” one day.

However, I am seeing it coming.

So whatever lah.

I am too tired both physically and mentally to play alr. So whatever. Don’t want don’t want lor.

-Kelvin-

=575= Word: Where

You know, in my time here, free time became a luxury. The people you try to contact are the people you love.

So for those precious few that I asked whether they wanted a call or not, you guys are loved. If not, you are still loved, just not that much. AHAHAHAHA! Of course missed a few people, just because I didn’t scroll far enough. So you are still loved as much. HAHA. Will ask for a call soon. HEHE!

The reason I asked for calls over texts was that, I found texting wasting too much time. It really does. I have less than an hour everyday. If I were to text everyone of them, it would take too long. It was rather interesting too! HAHA! Some people were rather awkward with calls. HAHA! However, I am just glad to hear a farmiliar voice in such a time. 🙂

Today, I had an hour of free time. Funny thing was that I started chatting with Mindez and started trying to do some troubleshooting for my juniors over text. HAHA! Man, do I miss audio. 😦

I guess where a man with little time invests his time is where their heart is.

May I be after your own heart Lord.

Mistakes are mistakes. I need to stop beating myself over the mistakes I have done. It did have its heavy implications, but I have already done my best. Not going to give up trying to fix it, but just getting tired and discouraged. How much must I pour out before I get something back? Are such mistakes never redeemable? -sigh-

Found someone crazy about God here. Not even in my platoon, but glad to have him here to ground me. May I catch his fire.

Been thinking a lot about something. Seems like a Long way to go, but hey why not?

The place I am in feels like NA all over again; I am not good at anything here. However, this time,  my bunk mates are very encouraging. Was very shiong, but rather enjoyable. The FOMO feels are strong for everywhere. Sian that I miss BBQ… 😦 Birthday celebrations, etc etc. -sigh-

Oh well, God you take my hand and lead me.

Thank you Father.

-Amen-

Just a man struggling to live a God led life in a God strayed world