=664= Word: Far from Good

In The Prodigal God, Timothy Keller writes that both sons wanted the father’s possessions rather than the person. Both were far from their father, but while one ran away from the father’s love by being extremely bad – the other did so by being extremely good.

Quote from: http://thir.st/blog/take-from-me-what-i-deserved/


=663= Word: By The Book

Ok, just let me put this out there, people need to STOP using the phrase, “this guy is very by the book!” To describe someone strict.

Just because you are strict, doesn’t mean you are by the book. You know why? Most of the time THERE IS NO BOOK.

Think about it, regimental stuff like, no wearing slippers on the first floor or like no using vending machine without permission. Are you seriously telling me that there are laws set in place for those?

Sure, one may argue that it is general orders. So these general orders, who puts the standard in place? The book? Or the person?

“By the book” describes a person that follows everything law by law. So what about their own instructions? How can we say that those are law?

Just be clear and say strict.


=662= Word: Choice

I often wonder, why even give us a choice? Why give us free will? If free will isn’t in, sin won’t even be an issue right?

I drew an example from another source. Staying in. Go down the list of people serving NS, almost everyone will tell you that they would want to stay out of camp.

I am in a stay out vocation, but I often choose to stay in. My platoon mates would find me stupid for staying in, but I find that I get a whole lot more rest in camp than at home. I just have less distractions in camp.

If you don’t give me a choice and make me stay in, I would obviously think about staying out. However, if you give me a choice, I have the best of both worlds, I can choose to stay in when it is convinient and stay out when I want.

Same for training, when given the option to train or not, many people would choose not to, but there will be the few that know the good of training and do training on their own.

When given a choice to do something, one will actually consider which is the better one. It will show you the good points in the options.

Staying in, more rest, less distractions, more time for God. Staying out, more freedom, more distractions, less time for God.

When I choose staying in, I acknowledge the value of the good in it. Same for the decision to do the right thing; to sin or walk away.

When one walks away, one acknowledges the good in choosing God. When one sins, one acknowledges the temporal pleasure/good in gratifying your flesh.

Truly when given a choice, temporal pleasure or eternal treasure?

There is clearly no fight, of course eternal treasure. Is control really that good a thing? Having choice just makes things hard.

Does having a choice allow one to see the choice in better light?

What will motivate one to choose good?

How do we walk away from sin?

Is to see the good in walking away, acknowledging it, practice it, and do it.

We as human need reason.


=661= Words of Melancholy: How Would You Feel?

How would you feel, if you show someone close something important to you and the person just chucks it aside?

How would you feel, if you suggest something and the person doesn’t even consider your suggestion?

How would you feel, if someone promised you something at a particular time, but when it came to that time, tells you that the person have something else to do?

How would you feel, when you try to reach out, but the person actually rejects you reaching out and then, expects you to beg?

How would you feel, when you always try your best, but you fail to meet expectations? And people blame you for ridiculous things?

How would you feel, when attention you get isn’t equivalent to what you invest?

How would you feel, when something is clearly right, but you want it a different way?

How would you feel, when you love God, but you are always in sin?


Today in cell, we talked about the 10 commandments and the covenant.

The usual had been established:

  1. A covenant is such that even when the people fail to keep it, God will.
  2. First 4 commandments is for the relationship with God. Next 6 is for the relationship with man.
  3. 10 commandments is to show God’s standard and how we sinful creatures cannot meet that standard.

I realised something today after Carlton asked, “What does this say about God?”. Quite an interesting revelation.

Carlton answer was that God was merciful to show us some sort of a manual to live a righteous life. I realised something else. 

The 10 commandments is what that will hurt God.

Like a Father teaching his child how to live, he would often give his child rules. “No eating sweets after 8,” or “lights out at 9.”

Wouldn’t a Father have a heartache when his child has a toothache because he didn’t take care of his own teeth and ate sweets past 8.

When we disobey God’s commandments, won’t he also have a heartache for us? When we do something wrong and hurt ourselves, wouldn’t he be in pain for us?

Question, before God revealed his laws to us and when they did something wrong, will God be angry and be hurt by our sin? Of course, if a child steals before the Father could teach him that stealing is wrong, wouldn’t that hurt the Father?

What is worse is that the child still steals after being taught by the Father.

So why do we still sin? Why do we still hurt our Heavenly Father?

Lord, please help me. Have me worship you and honor you with my life.


The bitterness of the heart.

The sinfulness of the heart.

The sigh of the heart.


=660= Word: Greatest Fear

For the longest time, what people thought of me was my biggest fear. I am always so scared that they will dislike me, to the point where I will just do stuff to please people.

Then came last year, several stuff happened that was truly different. I became a lot more comfortable in my skin. In a post last year, I even said that I was so surprised that I wasn’t affected by it anymore.

Then, stuff had to happen. 

-sigh- Does baring your heart really only lead to disappointments?

Without me noticing, I find myself back where I started. I don’t understand. Perhaps I never will. Perhaps the source of the problem is different.

Is seeing that someone is trying really that repulsive?

Is trying to help really that annoying?

Is it really irritating that someone cares?

I hate it.

Why is running away immediately everyone’s response? 

It is just stupid isn’t it? 

Don’t feel, don’t feel, let me see how happy you can be.

Why are you so afraid of showing yourself to other people?

Do you seriously think that I don’t know about your flaws?

Why is so hard to show pain?

I wonder who is the liar?


=659= Word: Wisdom vs Heart

I am constantly reminded that even the wisest man that has ever walked this earth—Solomon that is—has turned his heart away from God.

Truly even with the greatest wisdom of all time, man’s evil desire and nature would overcome your life if you are not careful.

Wisdom never equates to a walk that never turns away from God. Wisdom lends its ability to tell you the outcome, you still have to make the choice.

Truly Lord, will you please help me? Help me look to you always.


=658= Song: In The Blood

In The Blood by John Mayer

How much of my mother has my mother left in me?
How much of my love will be insane to some degree?
And what about this feeling that I’m never good enough?
Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?

How much of my father am I destined to become?
Will I dim the lights inside me just to satisfy someone?
Will I let this woman kill me, or do away with jealous love?
Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?

I can feel love the I want, I can feel the love I need
But it’s never gonna come the way I am
Could I change it if I wanted, can I rise above the flood?
Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?

How much like my brothers, do my brothers wanna be?
Does a broken home become another broken family?
Or will we be there for each other, like nobody ever could?
Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?

I can feel love the I want, I can feel the love I need
But it’s never gonna come the way I am
Could I change it if I wanted, could I rise above the flood?
Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?

I can feel the love I want, I can feel the love I need
But it’s never gonna come the way I am
Could I change it if I wanted, can I rise above the flood?
Will it wash out in the water, or is it always in the blood?

Just a man struggling to live a God led life in a God strayed world