=97= Sleepless Nights: Ruth

Ok, I am not going to sleep, tried, but ya can’t seem to sleep… 😦

Well, I am going to talk about Ruth. However, this isn’t the Ruth you are familiar with. This is my drum set.

Ruth is a Tama Swingstar. This is the first drum set that I ever owned. I got it 6 months into drumming. I absolutely loved it.

Over the years, I changed and upgraded everything on this drum set. I got it proper cymbals. I got it proper drum heads. Got cympads and mufflers.

This drum set journeyed with me on probation, my first recording, learning dynamics, through every single set I had to prepare.

I have to give it up very soon because it is simply too loud for a condo. I am going to sell it away, but I really do not want to.

Ruth has been faithful to me like how Ruth was faithful to Naomi. I really hope someone see the beauty in her and give me a good price and treats her as well as I do. I really do not want to part from her… But I have to.


=96= Words of Melancholy: Turn

The Hasidic Tales includes the story of Dovin Din of Jerusalem who was approached by a man suffering a crisis of belief. Whatever reply Reb Dovid attempted, the man dismissed. So Reb Dovid restrained himself and simply listened to the man’s rant and rave. For hours he listened. Finally, he said,’Why are you so angry with God?’

This question stunned the man, as he had said nothing at all about God. He grew very quiet and looked at Dovid Din and said: ‘All my life I have been so afraid to express my anger to God that I have always directed my anger at people who are connected with God. But until this moment I did not understand this’

Then Reb Dovid stood up and told the man to follow him. He led him to the Wailing wall, away from the place where people pray, to the site of the ruins of the Temple. When they reached that place, Reb Dovid told him that it was time to express all the anger he felt towards God. Then, for more than an hour, the man struck the wall of the Kotel with his hands and screamed his heart out. After that he began to cry and could not stop crying, and little by little his cries became sobs that turned into prayers. And that is how Reb Dovid Din taught him how to pray

Prayer by Philip Yancey

=95= Words of Melancholy: Three

I write this now to express my brokenness.

There are three people whom I was very close to. Really close to. Extremely close to. Now, I am at a place where every time it see them, I would want to hide.

Afraid of having eye contact, I would drive myself into what I am doing. I really envy two of these people. They seem to be able to live without me just fine. Within less then a year, we stopped talking altogether. They seemed to have found friends that can replace me just fine. Now I am really afraid of conversation. Is relationships really that easy to replace? I do not understand. How can someone throw away such a precious friendship so easily?

I am now stuck in a dilemma. Should I do my best to reconcile? But I am really tired of trying. I am really tired of giving so much to them who does not even try. I am finished.

I kept empathizing to my cell that the people in the Bible are human, they are not fairy tale characters. Just the same, I am human, not a genie whom you can call out of the lamp any time.

I do not want to try, it is too painful. I do not want to start anything again, it is too painful. I want to give up this relationship, Lord will you please grant me that? It is so painful to try reconcile when no one wants to.

For the other one, birthday is reaching soon. I guess we had reconciled. Yet, I too put so much into the relationship. Why can’t I get back something? I have nowhere to go. Should I get a present? Should I simply wish the person happy birthday? I give.

Who knew these three relationships who were my biggest supports would be stripped away? I want things to return, I can do nothing but wait. I am pretty stubborn as well. I wonder when God gives me instructions, will I step up and do it, or will I refuse?

Quite frankly, I rather give up these relationships and continue with my life, but God is not letting me do it.

However, I might be complaining, but The Lord is still faithful. He has blessed me with another pillar. This pillar has been sustaining me! Thank you for this pillar.


=94= Comfort Songs: Thank You Jesus

“Thank You Jesus” by Hillsong Worship

Grace that flows like a river
Washing over me
Fount of Heaven, love of Christ
Overflow in me

Thank You Jesus
You set me free
Christ my Savior
You rescued me

Take this life delivered
A vessel of Your love
Wholly now devoted
To see Your kingdom come

Thank You Jesus
You set me free
Christ my Savior
You rescued me

You’ve given me life
You’ve opened my eyes
I love You Lord
I love You Lord
You’ve entered my heart
You’ve set me apart
I love You Lord
I love You Lord

Thank You Jesus
You set me free
Christ my Savior
You rescued me

=93= Words of Melancholy: Someone

Man I want to be:
Someone spirit led
Someone that people can depend on
Someone who knows how to manage his time well
Someone who is clever with his action and words to form strong friendships
Someone who loves others
Someone that leads with example
Someone real
Someone human
Someone sustained with every word of God
Someone who would live out his calling
Someone who has direction
Someone that puts in his best for everything he does
Someone that would love others even though he gets nothing back
Someone that is after God’s heart
Someone who isn’t an ass
Someone that treasures the heart of a girl
Someone that serves everyone around him
Someone that goes beyond the surface
Someone with depth in the word
Someone with faith that is unshakable
Someone that exercises his spiritual gifts
Someone that is approachable
Someone that encourages
Someone that compliments

Well the list goes on. The Man I wanna be.

=92= Gear I Want: Sledgehammer

I created a new segment for all the material things i want. Sincerely, i doubt i will get any of these, but i want to be able to at least have a custom in-ear, a snare and cymbals. Well, LONG way to go.

In-Ear Monitors:
Custom In-Ears – Ultimate Ears, 1964, Null, Future Sonics, JH audio, anything! I just want customs!

Higher end models – Shure, Westone, Audio Technica, anything as well!


Mapex Retrosonic Drum Kit – This limited edition drum kit is made out of walnut wood, making this really expensive to build!

Mapex Meridian Black The Raven – Hybrid between maple and birch, with inner furnish

Mapex Saturn IV – Top of the line Mapex drums!

Mapex Black Panther Sledgehammer – I recently really want to have my own snare drum. I looked through the catalogue, apparently my favourite size of snare drums(14 by 6 and a half) only comes in metal. This snare drum looks absolutely great.

Magnetone snare drum – a snare that allows you to change top and bottom, how cool is that?

Pork Pie Snare Drum – Hand made snare drum with signature in it

Pantheon Percussion Snare Drum – I want a Singapore made snare drum

Ludwig Legacy – This drum set has a really cool 3 ply configuration.

Sonor 27 ply snare drum – 27 plies!!! Just think how heavy this drum would be! To top it off, Jojo Mayer played this snare!

DW Collecter Series snare – Well, it is DW…

Pearl Chad Smith Signature – Chad Smith is my favourite drummer

I want them in die cast hoops!

I dream of having a hybrid of walnut and cherry black panther snare drum!


Zildjian Constantinople – I used these before, they are amazing!

Zildjian K Dark Series/Brilliant – Modern Dark sound that sounds amazing too!

Paiste Formula 602 Modern Essentials – They look and sound amazing in the videos!

Meinl Vintage Sand Series – Benny Greb uses these!

Sabian HHX Series – Well, Chad Smith uses Sabian, but i like darker cymbal sounds

TRX ALT and MDM series – Been looking at the TRX cymbals after i found out Brandon Khoo uses it


Sonor Jojo Mayer Pefect Balance pedal – Looked super cool!

Tama Iron Cobra/Speed Cobra – My steward uses this!

Mapex Falcon – It looks and feel great!

DW 9000 pedal – Who can knock DW?

I want a hi-hat pedal that feels like a bass drum pedal!


Vater Fusion – These sticks are great!


Evans – The level 360 technology is really amazing. I recently tried a hydraulic black head, SUPER nice!