=97= Sleepless Nights: Ruth

Ok, I am not going to sleep, tried, but ya can’t seem to sleep… 😦

Well, I am going to talk about Ruth. However, this isn’t the Ruth you are familiar with. This is my drum set.

Ruth is a Tama Swingstar. This is the first drum set that I ever owned. I got it 6 months into drumming. I absolutely loved it.

Over the years, I changed and upgraded everything on this drum set. I got it proper cymbals. I got it proper drum heads. Got cympads and mufflers.

This drum set journeyed with me on probation, my first recording, learning dynamics, through every single set I had to prepare.

I have to give it up very soon because it is simply too loud for a condo. I am going to sell it away, but I really do not want to.

Ruth has been faithful to me like how Ruth was faithful to Naomi. I really hope someone see the beauty in her and give me a good price and treats her as well as I do. I really do not want to part from her… But I have to.


=96= Words of Melancholy: Turn

The Hasidic Tales includes the story of Dovin Din of Jerusalem who was approached by a man suffering a crisis of belief. Whatever reply Reb Dovid attempted, the man dismissed. So Reb Dovid restrained himself and simply listened to the man’s rant and rave. For hours he listened. Finally, he said,’Why are you so angry with God?’

This question stunned the man, as he had said nothing at all about God. He grew very quiet and looked at Dovid Din and said: ‘All my life I have been so afraid to express my anger to God that I have always directed my anger at people who are connected with God. But until this moment I did not understand this’

Then Reb Dovid stood up and told the man to follow him. He led him to the Wailing wall, away from the place where people pray, to the site of the ruins of the Temple. When they reached that place, Reb Dovid told him that it was time to express all the anger he felt towards God. Then, for more than an hour, the man struck the wall of the Kotel with his hands and screamed his heart out. After that he began to cry and could not stop crying, and little by little his cries became sobs that turned into prayers. And that is how Reb Dovid Din taught him how to pray

Prayer by Philip Yancey

=95= Words of Melancholy: Three

I write this now to express my brokenness.

There are three people whom I was very close to. Really close to. Extremely close to. Now, I am at a place where every time it see them, I would want to hide.

Afraid of having eye contact, I would drive myself into what I am doing. I really envy two of these people. They seem to be able to live without me just fine. Within less then a year, we stopped talking altogether. They seemed to have found friends that can replace me just fine. Now I am really afraid of conversation. Is relationships really that easy to replace? I do not understand. How can someone throw away such a precious friendship so easily?

I am now stuck in a dilemma. Should I do my best to reconcile? But I am really tired of trying. I am really tired of giving so much to them who does not even try. I am finished.

I kept empathizing to my cell that the people in the Bible are human, they are not fairy tale characters. Just the same, I am human, not a genie whom you can call out of the lamp any time.

I do not want to try, it is too painful. I do not want to start anything again, it is too painful. I want to give up this relationship, Lord will you please grant me that? It is so painful to try reconcile when no one wants to.

For the other one, birthday is reaching soon. I guess we had reconciled. Yet, I too put so much into the relationship. Why can’t I get back something? I have nowhere to go. Should I get a present? Should I simply wish the person happy birthday? I give.

Who knew these three relationships who were my biggest supports would be stripped away? I want things to return, I can do nothing but wait. I am pretty stubborn as well. I wonder when God gives me instructions, will I step up and do it, or will I refuse?

Quite frankly, I rather give up these relationships and continue with my life, but God is not letting me do it.

However, I might be complaining, but The Lord is still faithful. He has blessed me with another pillar. This pillar has been sustaining me! Thank you for this pillar.


=94= Comfort Songs: Thank You Jesus

“Thank You Jesus” by Hillsong Worship

Grace that flows like a river
Washing over me
Fount of Heaven, love of Christ
Overflow in me

Thank You Jesus
You set me free
Christ my Savior
You rescued me

Take this life delivered
A vessel of Your love
Wholly now devoted
To see Your kingdom come

Thank You Jesus
You set me free
Christ my Savior
You rescued me

You’ve given me life
You’ve opened my eyes
I love You Lord
I love You Lord
You’ve entered my heart
You’ve set me apart
I love You Lord
I love You Lord

Thank You Jesus
You set me free
Christ my Savior
You rescued me

=93= Words of Melancholy: Someone

Man I want to be:
Someone spirit led
Someone that people can depend on
Someone who knows how to manage his time well
Someone who is clever with his action and words to form strong friendships
Someone who loves others
Someone that leads with example
Someone real
Someone human
Someone sustained with every word of God
Someone who would live out his calling
Someone who has direction
Someone that puts in his best for everything he does
Someone that would love others even though he gets nothing back
Someone that is after God’s heart
Someone who isn’t an ass
Someone that treasures the heart of a girl
Someone that serves everyone around him
Someone that goes beyond the surface
Someone with depth in the word
Someone with faith that is unshakable
Someone that exercises his spiritual gifts
Someone that is approachable
Someone that encourages
Someone that compliments

Well the list goes on. The Man I wanna be.

=92= Gear I Want: Sledgehammer

I created a new segment for all the material things i want. Sincerely, i doubt i will get any of these, but i want to be able to at least have a custom in-ear, a snare and cymbals. Well, LONG way to go.

In-Ear Monitors:
Custom In-Ears – Ultimate Ears, 1964, Null, Future Sonics, JH audio, anything! I just want customs!

Higher end models – Shure, Westone, Audio Technica, anything as well!


Mapex Retrosonic Drum Kit – This limited edition drum kit is made out of walnut wood, making this really expensive to build!

Mapex Meridian Black The Raven – Hybrid between maple and birch, with inner furnish

Mapex Saturn IV – Top of the line Mapex drums!

Mapex Black Panther Sledgehammer – I recently really want to have my own snare drum. I looked through the catalogue, apparently my favourite size of snare drums(14 by 6 and a half) only comes in metal. This snare drum looks absolutely great.

Magnetone snare drum – a snare that allows you to change top and bottom, how cool is that?

Pork Pie Snare Drum – Hand made snare drum with signature in it

Pantheon Percussion Snare Drum – I want a Singapore made snare drum

Ludwig Legacy – This drum set has a really cool 3 ply configuration.

Sonor 27 ply snare drum – 27 plies!!! Just think how heavy this drum would be! To top it off, Jojo Mayer played this snare!

DW Collecter Series snare – Well, it is DW…

Pearl Chad Smith Signature – Chad Smith is my favourite drummer

I want them in die cast hoops!

I dream of having a hybrid of walnut and cherry black panther snare drum!


Zildjian Constantinople – I used these before, they are amazing!

Zildjian K Dark Series/Brilliant – Modern Dark sound that sounds amazing too!

Paiste Formula 602 Modern Essentials – They look and sound amazing in the videos!

Meinl Vintage Sand Series – Benny Greb uses these!

Sabian HHX Series – Well, Chad Smith uses Sabian, but i like darker cymbal sounds

TRX ALT and MDM series – Been looking at the TRX cymbals after i found out Brandon Khoo uses it


Sonor Jojo Mayer Pefect Balance pedal – Looked super cool!

Tama Iron Cobra/Speed Cobra – My steward uses this!

Mapex Falcon – It looks and feel great!

DW 9000 pedal – Who can knock DW?

I want a hi-hat pedal that feels like a bass drum pedal!


Vater Fusion – These sticks are great!


Evans – The level 360 technology is really amazing. I recently tried a hydraulic black head, SUPER nice!

=90= Words of Melancholy: Adam and Eve

“Gosh, she is so beautiful!” Thought the man. “She is nothing compared to the other companions that my friend has given to me!”

“She is able to walk on two legs like me! Unlike the dog and donkey my friend has paired me with”

“She isn’t too big like that clumsy T-Rex”

“She isn’t too small like that hard working ant”

“She is unable to fly like that sparrow, allowing me to reach out and touch her”

“She does not breathe underwater as well, fortunate for me, if she breathes underwater, how can I speak to her?”

“She does not have a hard shell like that lobster; I am able to feel her warmth.”

“She looks very much like me and my friend. I wonder why?”

“She just suddenly appeared after I fell asleep one day… Maybe I should ask my friend where he got such an amazing companion for me!”

The man walks through the garden to where his friend resides.

My friend, can I ask where did you get such an amazing partner for me?”

The friend replied, “I got her from you!”

The friend went on to explain that one day he cause the man to fall asleep and he took a rib from the man and made it to become his companion. His friend went on to explain that he did not take a bone out of his head for her to trample over him, neither did he take a bone out of his feet to let the man trample over her. Instead he took a rib near the heart for the man to love her and protect her.

“Wow! No wonder she is perfect for me! Thank you my friend! You know me the best!”

The man continued his work on the garden like he is supposed to. He passed by the tree that his friend told him not to touch of.

“This fruit looks great, I wonder how it taste like?” The man thought to himself.

“Nah, I should not think about it, my friend knows what is best for me!”

However, deep inside the man, doubt started to grow. Now every time he walked passed the tree, he would take a break and look upon the vibrant colored fruit. Never going so far as to touch the fruit, but he spent time observing it. He noticed that no animal went near the tree. There was no grass around the tree. Not even a bird stood on one of the branches to rest.

“I wonder why nothing living is around the tree? I guess my friend is right when he said, ‘you will surely die'”

A very crafty animal saw the man’s curiosity and begin to speak the the man as well. He started asking questions that did not even cross the man’s mind.
“Did your friend say you are not to touch of it? Maybe he simply intended that you are not to eat of the fruit, surely touching makes no difference!”
“Why would a good friend keep something bad in front of you?”
“Why return to work on other fruits when this fruit is so good?”

The man hence decided to lay hands on the fruit. He touched it and smelt it. Upon seeing that the fruit was good for food, he brought his companion with him to the tree that he had observed.

The animal realized that the companion was not around when the friend told the man not to eat of it, hence found it easier to tempt the woman instead.

“Did the friend really say that you are not allowed to eat if any tree in the garden?” The animal asked the woman.

The woman replied, “we can eat from any tree in the garden except for this tree, we will die if we eat or even touch the the tree”

“You will not surely die, the man touched it and he did not die!” The animal said to the woman. “Perhaps when you eat the fruit your eyes will be opened and you will become as powerful as your friend!”

The woman touched the fruit to experiment if the fruit will kill her. She touched it and nothing happened. She then plucked the fruit. The man who was beside his companion felt a deep spirit in him telling him to stop the woman. The man however, also desired the fruit. Hence he ignored the spirit’s prompting.

The woman began peeling off the skin of the fruit. Inside the vibrant colored skin was flesh that was dull and black. The look if the flesh should have deterred the consumption of the fruit, however the smell captured the couple’s attention.

“A fruit that smells so good should not be bad! A fruit that smells like that must be good” thought the couple.

The woman took the first bite. The fruit tasted extraordinary. It seemed sweet at first, then it became sour, then spicy, then bitter and finally, the fruit lost it taste. The woman did not swallow the fruit yet, but the flavor is all lost.

The woman then took the fruit and have it to his husband. The man took the second bite and enjoyed the pleasure of the taste just like his companion. After the second bite, he saw the core has a seed that was blood red.

The man looks up. “OH MY GOSH, we are naked!” He exclaimed.

The woman realized and shouted, “Have we been naked all this time? Have we no shame?!”

The couple then sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves. As the friend was walking by. Upon hearing his friend’s footsteps, the couple his themselves in the garden.

“Where are you?” The friend shouted in the direction they were hiding, like he already knew where they were.

“I heard your footsteps, but I am naked, so i hid” the man answered.

“How did you know you were naked? What have you done? Have you eaten from the tree I told you not to eat from?” The friend asked.

“My friend, the woman you put here with me gave me fruit from the tree and I ate it!” The man justified himself.

The man, who admired the beauty of the woman, whom he was supposed to protect, threw the blame on the her instead. The man felt disgusted with himself after saying what he said.

The woman was shocked that he blamed her and bounced back, “it’s the animal, it tempted me to do it!”

The woman felt betrayed for she thinks the man was to blame, it was the man that brought him there. Yet, she knew that she was the one that brought the fruit to the man’s mouth. She felt disgusted at herself after saying what she had said.

The animal could not answer.

The friend cursed the animal.

The friend cursed the woman.

The friend cursed the man.

The friend had a disappointed look on his face. As if a father failed his duty as a parent.

The friend looked upon the badly sown fig leaves. He sighs and fashioned robes for them.

The robes were red in color. The same shade as the seed of the fruit. With a brown leather belt. Gave them sandals to protect their feet.

The man and woman wept as they put on the outfit that the friend gave them. Begging him not to throw them out.

Yet, when their tears stopped, they saw that the friend was also weeping. “Why did you have to eat from the tree?”

“I loved you so much, I gave you so much, what do you expect me to do now?”

The man saw the consequence of his actions and only uttered, “I am sorry my friend…”

The couple walked out of the garden ashamed even though they were wearing clothes.

They knew that life will never be the same again.


In case you haven’t realized what this story is, this is based on the story of Adam and Eve.

The man is Adam.
The woman is Eve.
The animal is the serpent.
The friend is God.

I wanted to show the contrast in reaction towards Eve when Adam was caught after eating the fruit. Before, he loved and admired Eve’s beauty! He explained how perfect she was and wanted to love and protect her. However, once he was caught, he blamed her for everything instead of protecting her.

I know that the Bible has no account of Adam being tempted before Eve. It is just an imaginary scene. The devil is clever. He makes small cracks on the wall and then finally lands a huge blow, breaking the wall. Using different people in our life to tempt us.

I added italics whenever the man talks about the friend. I wanted to show the lack of reverence for God when man fell(the italics for ‘my friend’ was removed once they ate the fruit).

The design of the fruit. Vibrant skin. Black flesh. Blood red seed. The knowledge of good and evil. It is both attracting and repulsive. With blood red seed, because everything is created through Jesus.

It is also God’s grace that he gave Adam and Eve clothes. I mean why not just destroy them on the spot? Instead The Lord gave them clothes, let them live.


=89= Worship on/off Stage: Nine

Nine Weeks.

10/11 May (Youth)
God is Moving
Breathe Life
Love Like Life

18 May (Adults)
Counting on God
God is Able
I Will Rise

24/25 May (Youth)
Holding Nothing Back
For Who You Are
I Could Sing of Your Love Forever
Be Thou Exalted

1 June (Adults)
That’s What We Came Here For
Christ is Enough
Where The Spirit of the Lord is
Breathe Life

7/8 June (Youth)
Happy Day
How Great is the Love
Arms Open Wide

15 June (Retreat)
Salvation is Here
Here in Your Presence
Freedom We Know
Nothing is Impossible
Where The Spirit of the Lord is
Arms Open Wide
I Surrender

21/22 June (Youth)
Chosen Generation
Arms Open Wide
Refiner’s Fire

28/29 June (Youth)
Counting on God
Say Say

5/6 July (Youth)
This is My Desire
None But Jesus
Beautiful Saviour

Well, I finally caught a break! 🙂 nine weeks is no joke. It has it’s ups and downs. However, I really enjoyed it! Somehow or another, God has sustained me through this journey of serving nine weeks in a row! The results I have gotten for my common test is really not bad! The timing of rehearsals are just right! The entire process was amazing.

There were so many first times. The first time I served in adults. The first time I served in retreat. The first time I taught someone on probation. The first time I served for a month in a row. The first time I served two months in a row.

God made me go through my fear of playing certain songs as well: Cornerstone, Arm Open Wide and Breathe Life.

The Lord helped me through the idea of a drum crash course. 20 people came and 2 more learned from me afterwards.

The Lord gave me a set that was good even though my playing was bad.

The Lord rewarded me with supports that I needed! I sincerely give thanks!

These Nine weeks are great! Thank you Father for being so faithful! 🙂


=88= Words of Melancholy: Attitude

I have been reflecting upon what ticks me off. I decided that bad attitude and a uncooperative spirit is what ticks me off.

My recent drum crash course, I had a group of friends that came together. What happened is that they would laugh at each other(which isn’t bad). I went off to teach the last guy from that group. That guy got distracted easily, he did not listen to me at all. I kept telling him, don’t anyhow play. Kept correcting him. On top of not listening to me, the group of friends was outside the drum shield sniggering at him. Sure it is his fault he is not listening, why do you have to make fun of him and distract him from the kit? It is such an unloving thing to do. I told them to go away, but the only thing that changed is the direction they looked and the expression on their faces. Perhaps they were angry at me, thinking that I am unreasonable. Maybe I am, but I doubt their attitude is right either.

Talking about that group, there was another guy in that group that annoyed me in youth camp last year. Our group were trying our best to build the bananas board. After we did, he began to criticize the board that they had no part off. He did not do a single thing, yet he said, “you guys should have done….”. Out of anger, I told him off, “why don’t you do it then?” I can’t recall his reply, but he did not do anything even after I told him off. Like seriously, don’t be all talk, do some work then we can let you talk. I heard that he is going to try out for electric guitar. I do not want him in. No matter how lacking are we in electric, having a bad attitude and a bad walk, please be rejected.

Back to the drum course. There was a guy who auditioned for try outs for drums in CAMY, yet he joined the crash course and even asked for sticks. I was thinking that he was not the same person. Turns out that his friends put his name in as a joke. Seriously? Do you know how much time can be saved if you did not play a fool and write his name down. You embarrassed your friend and wasted the precious time of the people auditioning. Do not be an ass. People have better use of time then to play your stupid games. And the person whose name got written, the least you can do is to inform people that you do not know how to play drums. Do not let your pride get in the way of the truth.

In one of my IS modules, there is this guy that hated to be in my group. He seems to think that our group is uncool and will pull down his marks. So he would always group up with my friend. Being as thick skinned as to wanting to be added into the group of 5 even though the maximum is 5.

Perhaps this is flaw in me. Perhaps I need to learn how to love people.