=121= Words of Melancholy: Disqualified

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

1 Corinthians‬ ‭9‬:‭24-27‬ NIV

What a reminder.

=120= Words of Melancholy: Passive

I need to remember, stop waiting on the perfect moment. There is none. If you are waiting for the perfect moment to serve, you are waiting in vain. There will be things you struggle with in different points of your life.

Always waiting on the perfect moment, always being so careful you will regret it. You are an idiot if you are always putting things tomorrow. Why are you always looking for the right moment, right vibe, right atmosphere? Sheesh, go all out, get out of your shell! Do not be passive, only to regret it later on.

I hate being so useless and passive at a time like this. God, why am I so useless? No what is worse, I am passive! God, I really can’t stand myself now. I am in such a horrible place. Lord, won’t you give me courage and strength? So I can give others courage and strength.

=119= Melancholic Reflections: Single

Okay, people who reads my blog, please don’t report me to PJ or Elsa or BroBert over the last post! I am not in love with a girl named Quinn. She is simply a fictional character in my story. I simply wanted to point out in the story that having a perfect day everyday isn’t exactly great. For one, we are creatures that change. We thrive on change. We change our facial expressions, we change our appearance as we grow older. Our ideal day changes over time. For one madly in love, an ideal day would be to spend it with your crush. For one whose career is going well, an ideal day is to have a promotion. What constitutes a good and bad day will change over time. Not only that having all ups is boring. If everything goes well for me it is going to be really boring.

Now let’s talk about what this post is exactly about. Ok let’s start with this. I am really comfortable being single right now.

Gosh, I can’t believe that I am saying this. I am very comfortable with my life being single. Since I was primary 5, I always envied people who had relationships. I had crushes that I liked for years. I wanted to get into one SO badly. Haha, if I told you about the things I did to get closer to the girl I liked you will laugh at me! I was an idiot.

It was until a recent event(within a year I promise) that forced me to take a step back and really think about my priorities and commitments. I took a step back to see what an idiot I really was. I hated being single; I hated being lonely(I do still hate being lonely). Now, after everything is kinda resolved(at least 85% I promise), I kinda like being single.

After the event, I started to observe girls more. Not checking girls out, but simply observing them. Like I would observe if a girl is secure or insecure, superficial or real, how one initiated things, how one serves people. I simply started to observe girls and how they interact with people(girls and guys), I started to learn from what I observed. Not that I am able to judge if a girl is bad or good(it would be outrageous to do so), I start to observe how what she does or behaves either attracts or repels me. Now here is the cherry to top it off—because I started observing, I noticed MANY attractive girls and women. I began to stop observing and started to admire them instead.

When you admire them, you tend to do things to catch their attention. I do some stupid things, that I am not proud of, to catch their attention. So ya, sometimes I act like an idiot so as to make the girl I admire laugh or notice me. Ok, perhaps this is a bad behavior. I may have to stop this. Haha! 😛

Singleness allowed me to be able to learn how to interact with guys as well. I guess this is part of the reason why I am thankful that I was placed into an all boys cell. I learned how to be crazy and real before the guys that I lead—something that I could never learn leading a mixed cell.

I have plenty of time to do the things I like as well. I love swimming! Having water all over your body, hearing nothing but the sound of water and your own breath is extremely therapeutic.

This may be a weird season for me, but ya, I am just going to enjoy myself enjoying being single until I warmed up to a person whom I admire and my mentors all give me the green light to. Until then, you can bet that I am
Going to enjoy my single life to the fullest! Thank God for singleness! 🙂

-Kelvin-

=118= Words of Melancholy: Choice

“Which would you choose?” She asked me. Her face looked extremely depressed and almost in tears.

What? Why is she about to cry? Of course I would choose the latter! Who would choose to have it difficult?

“I choose having an eternity of the best day of my life.” I answered with confidence.

“Are you sure? It will be the same day everyday…” She said something after that, but I could not make it out. Something about wanting a difficult life. Looks like she is trying to discourage me from choosing the eternity.

“Yes I am sure! Let’s have the best day!”

I blanked out. I have no memory of anything happening urging this period.

I squinted as light poured into my eyes. I tried to make out my surroundings but they are all very foreign to me. It is not my bedroom, but I am not complaining; this is the nicest bedroom I have ever seen! Wow! The bed I was sleeping on was extremely comfortable. It is donned with golden sheets and a warm red blanket. Pillows were so fluffy. I felt like going back to sleep for an hour again but a voice stopped me. “Hey Lazy Bones! Stop sleeping!”

I turned around. It was Quinn. Gosh, she is gorgeous! She was wearing a plain blue t-shirt with FBTs and had no make up on, but she looked so good wearing them. How can someone look so good wearing sleeping clothes? Maybe it is her roast almond hair and big brown eyes that really compliments her t-shirt? I stopped myself to just admire her beauty.

“What?” She noticed I was staring. “Something on my face?”

“Haha, nothing, just looking at how beautiful you are!” I answered.

She blushed. “Of course, don’t you know I am the prettiest girl in the world! Hahahaha!” She said jokingly but she is to me.

“What is going on?” I realised that this was very strange. How did we get here? Didn’t she just ask me about what I would choose?

“I made breakfast already! Your favorite scrambled eggs!” She said cheerily.

“Didn’t you just ask me a question like just now?” I was still puzzled.

“What question?” She too looked puzzled.

“Ah never mind! Let’s have breakfast!” Pushing the question aside.

The scrambled eggs was the best I ever had. So good. So fluffy. The next best thing was the Milo. I can’t stand coffee and I did not like tea. I really enjoyed Milo though! Chocolatey and gives me energy. With the right amounts of milk and Milo power, taste just right! And to top it off, it was all made by Quinn. Gosh, am I lucky to have her as my girlfriend.

After breakfast we went shopping. Apparently we were buying a present for someone but I had no idea who. She refused to tell me who. Hence, I simply enjoyed myself as we went to server alr malls to search for a present. I gathered that it was for a lady, older than us and that is it. Really fun though! We kept laughing at each other’s jokes.

After a long time of shopping, we went to the food court to have lunch. She was so cute as she sat in front of me. She had Thai food as I had this weird mixed rice thing. I really do enjoy having lunch with her. I can eat her leftovers! Hehe!

We then drove to beach. Apparently, there was some flea market thing going on at the mall near the beach, so we walked there. I thought it was going to be a drag, but there stalls selling watches as well. I bought like two watches from the market. Quinn bought like 5 dresses, oh well, it does look good on her! Wow, but it was such a great day!

After putting our buys into the car, we went for a stroll down the beach. We slowly walked and finally sat down on the sand. She put her head on my shoulder and leaned against me. She doesn’t know this, but I really enjoy it when she does this, it makes me feel needed and close to her. The sunset was perfect. There were little clouds. The rays of velvet just made it so romantic. A playful idea just popped into my head.

“Hey Quinn, can I kiss you?” I said playfully.

She lifted her head immediately. She gave me a coy smile and said no. Then she elaborated on why. Like how I was insincere about it.

So I held her hand and said, “Dear Quinn, I love you, you are very beautiful. I think you are perfect. You are cute, you have an amazing personality and you are my girl friend. Wow! You are my girlfriend! I can’t believe you are my girlfriend!” Then as I looked straight into her eyes I said, “may I kiss you?”

She blushed and smiled. Then said yes. So I moved my head forward. As my lips touched her pink lips, I blanked out.

Light got into my eyes again. Then I heard Quinn’s voice, “Hey Lazy Bones! Stop sleeping!”

I jumped up. Wait, didn’t this just happen? I was really puzzled. I asked Quinn, but she found me crazy.

Then everything happened the same. The great breakfast. Shopping. Lunch. Market. Beach. Then I blanked out right after my lips touch her lips. Then I return to the bed with light going into my eyes again.

I realised what caused this. Quinn’s question. I said I wanted an eternity of the best day, so it happened again and again.

I tried to do things differently, but every time I tried something different, I will blank out and return back to the bed.

Everything is the same everyday. Bed. Breakfast. Shopping. Lunch. Market. Beach. Kiss then blank out. The only thing I can control is how early I can blank out. As long as I tried something different, I will return to that bed.

.

.

.

I lost count of how many days or times I blanked out and returned to the bed. It was boring. Having the same day everyday is a curse. I try to kill myself, but I simply blank out and return to the bed. How am I going to do the other things that I wanted to do in my life? I want to travel overseas. I want to learn a new musical instrument, guitar or something! But no. Everyday is the same. -sigh-

Perhaps having a normal life with difficulties is not that bad after all.

I blanked out.

=117= Words of Melancholy: Emptiness

“Hey what are you watching?” A voice that came from the back startled me. It sounded like a female’s voice, not bright like a little girl, but it still had the sweetness to it.

It was strange. I was alone at home. My family went to Malaysia without me, there should not be anyone at home. Not only that, the question itself was strange. I was not on the computer, I was not watching TV, I was not watching anything in particular, I was just stoning on the couch.

As I turned around, I have both feelings of fear and happiness. Fear because I was uncertain if the person or thing that spoke was even physical. I had this thing for ghosts, I was extremely terrified of them. At the same time, I was glad that I wasn’t alone. Being the only one at home is really such a bore.

There was no one there.

Crap. I jumped out of my couch. What happened? I was still trying to figure out who and what had spoke when it spoke again, “Is watching this important?”

Our of fear and confusion, I shouted out into thin air, “Who are you?!”

“Does it matter who I am?” She or it replied.

“Where are you?” I asked while waving my arms around.

“Does it matter where I am?”

I freaked out. I ran out of my house.

As I ran to the park, I grew tired and started to walk. I gained composure and started to piece what happened altogether. Ok, a random voice just spoke, no body, no figure just a voice. I started to think of the possibilities.

Could it be a ghost? Well, he/she/it could have done a better job scaring me, I mean it(I am going to stick with ‘it’) did not even say anything really scary.

Could it be a friend that is trying to be funny and it was all a prank? Nah, that voice was very distinct and I never heard it before.

Could it be….

I did think for a good half an hour and I still could not come up with a proper explanation that made any sense. Now I am in a dilemma, I couldn’t go back home, I couldn’t go to my friend’s houses because what reason would I give them?

Luckily I brought my wallet out as I left, I could at least buy a drink and sit down at the coffee shop. So I stood up and directed my steps to the coffee shop.

“So what are you watching now?” The voice spoke out of nowhere.

“Oh my gosh!” I yelled.

“Wait wait wait! I do not mean to scare you!” Said the voice.

“Then what do you want?” I asked.

“To ask what are you watching” it answered.

“What?” The concept was just so silly.

“What are you watching?” It asked once again.

“NOTHING!” I exasperated.

“Exactly”

The voice stopped.

=116= Comfort Songs: Unashamed

Unashamed by Starfield
I have not much
To offer You
Not near what You deserve
But still I come
Because Your cross
Has placed in me my worth

Oh, Christ my King
Of sympathy
Whose wounds secure my peace
Your grace extends
To call me friend
Your mercy sets me free

And I know I’m weak
I know I’m unworthy
To call upon Your name
But because of grace
Because of Your mercy
I stand here unashamed

I can’t explain
This kind of love
I’m humbled and amazed
That You’d come down
From heavens heights
And greet me face to face

Here I am at Your feet
In my brokeness complete


Let’s just say today isn’t a very good day.

 

=114= Melancholic Reflections: Deterence

If a man’s biggest temptation is to be passive, a woman’s biggest temptation is to take control
Joshua Harris

Well, remembered this quote from this Joshua Harris’ book I read a year ago. I realised something since then. Passiveness for a guy is not just the biggest temptation, it is the biggest deterrence. A wishy washy guy is the worse. Someone that can’t make up his mind. Someone that can’t make decisions. We are called to lead. Not please everyone in the process. Don’t even get me started on guys that are passive aggressive. Gosh, such an unattractive quality in a person.

I realised that it is better for me to be in touch with my emotions and feelings than to lock it up an act as if everything is ok. If I am getting annoyed with someone, I will tell someone I trust about it. People who keeps their thoughts and feelings to themselves are locking themselves up in a shell; not giving anyone a chance to go on a deeper level with them. If I put on this shell, I am in every case being passive—I want people to approach me, I do not want to approach people.

I also found in me an ability to be loud when I have to. People who knows me knows that I am actually an introvert. I much rather like to listen than to talk. However, some circumstances and situations requires me to speak(camps when you need to rah rah, someone is going to jump off a building), and in those times, if I do not speak, I am being passive and not loving.

There are tons of articles that say that listening is an attractive quality. We need to listen. Etc etc. the reason for those articles is this, people aren’t listening before they speak. If you do not actively listen, how are you gonna speak the right words? However, listening all the time and not speaking out when you have to isn’t good either.

Actually passiveness isn’t an action(ironic much?). You do not actively decide to be passive. If you actively decide to not do anything, that is active waiting, which is a whole other concept. Passiveness grounds from laziness. Anyone that enjoys listening would know, how listening is easier than speaking. So when we are tasked to speak, we are lazy and reject the offer. We make excuses to not speak; “nah, what if I speak the wrong thing?” “I am not good at speaking”.

Perhaps I am too harsh. I apologize. Part of the reason I wrote this post was to rebuke myself as well. I am a long time offender of being passive; being unable to make decisions without everyone’s consent. This is an area I need to grow in as well.

-Kelvin-

=113= Melancholic Reflections: Curse

Kiat said something very interesting. He said that because he studied and knows about planes and how accidents happens, he is very scared to be a passenger of a flight. He found it to be a curse. I went down this train of thought I realised how knowing about something would remove the pleasure of something.

Playing an instrument for example. Before you played an instrument, you are not as aware of wrong chords, wrong tempo etc etc—things that non-musicians/audiophiles would not pick up. After learning it, you become more aware of errors and mistakes. The music that you were once okay with suddenly became horrible to you. Sure, that removed the pleasure of being able to enjoy music with mistakes, but does that mean that it removes the pleasure of listening to music altogether? Of course not! Once you know about how difficult it is to play certain parts or playing together as a band, you learn to appreciate really good music with more awe.

I once read this statement, “doctors are the worse patients”. This is because the doctors know what they are dealing with and so when they are in the place of a patient, they know exactly what a doctor is doing right or wrong. This could lead to distrust of the doctor. Yet another curse.

This is exceptionally interesting because this applies to everything. Knowing how to drive makes you more scared when you are not driving. It is sad that a pleasure is taken away from you, but another form of pleasure is resurfaced. For a musician, you get the joy of playing an instrument and playing together as a band. For a driver, you get the pleasure of driving a car. For a doctor, you get the pleasure of being able to serve your own patients.

This curse is good, for it is only after learning it that you understand what is right and what is wrong. This knowledge of right and wrong helps you to not be a fool, ignorant of it, but still commenting about the subject. You will be able to discern better after knowing what is good and bad.

-Kelvin-

=112= Melancholic Reflections: Trip

Such an amazing trip! 🙂

I shall start at the start. It all started during leader’s retreat. I was reflecting on how i managed myself last year with simply two ministry(+homework club). I have such a bad record; I kept having panic attacks, feeling lonely etc etc. So when we were given the chance to pick our “CCA” I did not want to pick any. So i returned the empty slip of paper back to K. He saw it and asked, “why not?” He then suggested that i go on a mission trip instead. He told me that in the years to come, if i do not choose to go now i would not go for it if the opportunity was presented to me. He also said that people who went for a mission trip has a different view on ministry. That when the years come, i will only have a very closed up view while people will be speaking of the amazing things God has done on the trip. So being persuaded like that, how can one not go? Haha! So i decided to go for the September one because my holidays will be then and a friend asked me(in the end, she did not go.. :<).

So i simply entered the mission trip with no experience whatsoever. No background in planning for events. No background in preparing logistics. No background in planning children’s program. No idea what would happen. The first meeting already showed me how inexperienced i was. I got the role of planning a children’s program and logistics.

Here comes the first big obstacle, J and I have trouble planning for the children’s program. J is very skilled in planning. to a point where i felt like i was not doing much. Trouble is we both do not know how to plan for a program where there is no fixed time, no set budget, no fixed size and no fixed age. So we discussed over and over, scraping ideas here, taking things away here and there. Even until the start of the trip we still do not know what would happen even though we planned so much.

Next obstacle was fighting against time and work. The crunch time for Poly was really close to the trip. i struggled so much to manage both work and ministry. To top it off, i have this trip to plan for. Right before my presentation week, i need to go to Aussie to attend my sister’s graduation. Hence missing a meeting. Then, two weeks later, i have a trip to Hong Kong. Hence, missing another meeting. When i got back, everyone was already in choleric mode doing things, getting logs while i was still catching up. So i simply did whatever they needed me to do; cut cloth, run through games, buy markers etc etc. That particular week, i was serving in CAMY as well. I decided to because i would feel really bad if i made L sub me and serve 3 weeks in a row. So that proposed yet another problem, I have to split my attention to both this trip and CAMY. So i really felt like i did not contribute much to the preparations.

A thing i did during this period which i am very thankful for was that i asked for prayer from my mentors and the worship team. I was really flipping out when i realised that it was a week to the mission trip. I was extremely stressed with so many things undone. Thank you for your prayers! 🙂

I was really afraid as i went to the airport. I was paranoid. What if i lose my passport? What if my programs suck? What if working with them is difficult? Again and again i questioned myself. I was crapping myself(Ok, not literally). I am very thankful that my cell kid was there to play with me so as to relieve my stress. I showed K the extremely scared face and he said he realised. Well, all the way to the plane!

I watched an episode of Big Bang Theory then watched The Fault in Our Stars. Such a nice movie. such great acting with a great representation of pain. checked out Kenny Khoo’s album, not bad, but i am not sure if i would purchase it. Then, i did the most genius thing one can do, i left my jacket on the plane… -.- -sigh- Oh well, time to buy a new jacket, but what a great start to the trip…. 😦 I simply got over it and collected my bags. We then met PD at the airport and he already cracked a joke! He called the bottled water sky juice! We had a 5 hour bus ride to the hotel in V. It was pretty comfortable. When we finally reached the hotel, i just conked out.

When i woke up, we had devotions in the morning–a practice that is pretty foreign to me, for i like to have it at night where i can thank God for the day–but i saw how it benefited us, it really set the tone of the day. The best example was when JK did devotions and pointed out that we have not been praying very much on the trip and on that day we became more prayerful and everything well WAY smoother than yesterday! The first day of devotions, they asked to share one thing we expected out of the trip. I shared that i wanted some direction for my life and to be able to witness that my God is a global God.

I will now describe the different events or highlights:

The first heart attack came when we went for the believer’s meeting. We went there and there were many children there. So SR asked if we could do the children’s program. We did not bring any logistics there, so i freaked out. We brought them to the backyard of the house. I have no idea what to do. I stared at the people there with me(JK, I, E, P, SS). So we started with the song, they were giving very stoned expressions, but they still tried to do the actions with us! Then we tried to play eagle catch small chickens(老鹰抓小鸡). They were so into it! Then we played Mr Fox says because they thought we meant Fox when we were describing a Wolf to the translator. They were rolling in the dirt but they were ok with it! Finally we played freeze and melt. All three games were a HUGE encouragement to me. We did not plan like two out of three games, but they enjoyed it nevertheless. I decided not to be so stressed with doing things and that helped me to let go and let God take over.

The Outreach program. I went there being anxious. Once again, i simply enjoyed myself and became really silly like i was back in the PFP camp. When they were trying to come up with cheers, i tried to learn it. The group i talked to tried Oppa Gangnam style! Then for the other groups i talked to, i tried to learn their cheers/dance, they laughed at me. Then, for the games, i had this very cute boy with a scar on his face that kept asking for ‘gems’ even though he did not play the game. After the game ended, he offered to help me pack up my erasers, i really wanted to give him a gem after he helped me, but i had no more, so i gave him an eraser instead. We ate this rice with some sambal sauce, the sauce was so good i think i had more sauce then rice!

The second Outreach program. This was the day when K pointed out that we were not really praying very often. So we prayed consistently on this day. God blessed us with a VERY good translator, R. She was able to understand everything very well and helped us to explain it in Tamil. T also gave us some tips to add Christ into the program without being too pushy about it. So i drew a cross on the paper, but most of them were distracted by the girl i drew as well. One boy saw and asked if i was a christian, i said yup and he gave me the “Ok, everyone is entitled to their own beliefs” face. This crowd were more conservative compared to the first outreach, but they still had the competitive spirit. Some were very playful and bugged me to give them a gem. This was also the day i fell in love with the dragon mixed rice and pineapple rice. Best pineapple rice i had! So much flavour of pineapple in the rice and the dragon mixed rice was so good! The principal or supervisor said that this was a healing program for them. I did not know that the war only ended 4 years ago.

The workshops. I was struggling with my testimony and my workshops as well. There were some content that i wanted to put in but i did not dare to; i really did not want to be THAT vulnerable with the SL people. I got over it and just went with what i wrote. it was simple, but i was really thankful that they appreciated it. i will share more on my testimony later. The adults in this meeting were very competitive during games as well, i remembered that they were playing Blow wind blow and they were more excited than a lot of people back in Singapore. Here i also met R, a farmer, whose family is in I in the refuge camps. He had some problems with the approval of his farm so he went to C and got it settled now he is starting afresh. He finds it difficult to serve God while having so much on his hand. I was really thankful that i finally had a decent conversation with a local.

The second believer’s meeting. I was with the kids again. however, this time, there were not enough space to run and it was already dark so running is dangerous. So we went into the room. I was tasked to tell the story of David and Goliath. We never really thought it through, so we started with the story first. 😛 They were really engaged! However, we have no idea how to transit from the story to prayer. So J said his piece about defeating giants, but it was still awkward so i said my piece on the demonstration of having a small boy push E down, yet it was still awkward. Thankfully T was there to help us! 🙂 After saying the sinner’s prayer. We sang “My God is so Big” and “With Christ in the Vessel”. They were way more responsive than the last group during the song as they tried to sing along as well! Then we played, J Says, E Says, Poison dancing toy and Mr Fox says. Everyone that was there really got a lot of joy from playing with the kids.

The youth camp. I had to prepare logs for each game. So ya once again, the people were very enthusiastic. A very cute boy took a photo of me. I was able to pray for him during the altar call.

The third believer’s meeting. This time, there weren’t a lot of kids so we all attended the adults side. It was alright! Pretty cool. Prayed for this old man at the back.

My Testimony sharing. I was tasked to give my testimony, i really wanted to add in something, but i did not want to as well. it was like i had two different voices fighting in my head. In the end, i decided to go with what i had. As i shared, i felt release. I felt a little breakthrough in my spirit. I realised that the argument was in my head. God was telling me that he could use any little things for his work. So after i gave it, a huge burden was off my back, and it was so much lighter.

The team. During the debrief, i wanted to share something about PD, but before i shared, E already shared. So nevertheless, i still shared about him and I have no idea why, but i shared about my direction. I did not get my direction…. but it is less murky now. I wanted a longer timeline but God called me to do the simple things and do the little things for him right now in the present. God told me to focus on these and trust in Him. I and SR also shared their experiences. i became more open with the team and i admitted my insecurities about being unable to articulate my thoughts clearly. I realised that i have a trust issue. I will speak more about it later.

PD. I think i look out for role models whom i can learn from very often. PD is such an amazing person whom i really would want to learn from. He cares so much for people and does God’s work so fervently; he has an orphanage, A, which was closed down due to people slandering him, but he got news that A is reopening! He had such joy that it was so inspiring. He keeps telling funny stories and cold jokes! He is definitely a person i want to be.


Well, i said all that i wanted to say about the trip. Now i want to speak about myself; about what i have found out about myself:
– I have trust issues. I did not realise this, but when i said it during the debrief, that was a truth that i knew deep down. I have trust issues. -sigh- I really have so many problems. The reason i found so difficult to work with so many people was because that i simply did not trust them enough, as a result, not trusting them becomes a deterrence to them.

– I have abandonment issues. Ok, not new, but i realised that this somehow developed into another quality; I like to protect people. I was reflecting and i saw how much i liked to be at the back because i am able to see them and protect them. I know it will kill me if any of them were lost because of me. I also realised that i really care if someone finds me annoying or if i hurt someone.

– I have problems articulating my thoughts clearly. I understand things, but i have problems being able to speak of it clearly. Perhaps this is the direction of my mentorship!

– I have to start being more faithful in the small things God has called me to do

– I need to be more initiative

– I need to learn how to communicate with people

– I need to stop saying “sorry”

Oh and i was really happy that a very pretty stewardess remembered me. She was afraid when there was turbulence back on the way there. Then she was very friendly to me on my way back! She offered me a cup of water even though i did not ask for it. Ok, maybe i am thinking too much, but she was really pretty!

– I need to be less distracted (Hehe)

– Now(In Singapore), i have to be more prayerful. MUCH more prayerful.

 

Thank you for this trip Lord! 🙂

-Kelvin-