=119= Melancholic Reflections: Single

Okay, people who reads my blog, please don’t report me to PJ or Elsa or BroBert over the last post! I am not in love with a girl named Quinn. She is simply a fictional character in my story. I simply wanted to point out in the story that having a perfect day everyday isn’t exactly great. For one, we are creatures that change. We thrive on change. We change our facial expressions, we change our appearance as we grow older. Our ideal day changes over time. For one madly in love, an ideal day would be to spend it with your crush. For one whose career is going well, an ideal day is to have a promotion. What constitutes a good and bad day will change over time. Not only that having all ups is boring. If everything goes well for me it is going to be really boring.

Now let’s talk about what this post is exactly about. Ok let’s start with this. I am really comfortable being single right now.

Gosh, I can’t believe that I am saying this. I am very comfortable with my life being single. Since I was primary 5, I always envied people who had relationships. I had crushes that I liked for years. I wanted to get into one SO badly. Haha, if I told you about the things I did to get closer to the girl I liked you will laugh at me! I was an idiot.

It was until a recent event(within a year I promise) that forced me to take a step back and really think about my priorities and commitments. I took a step back to see what an idiot I really was. I hated being single; I hated being lonely(I do still hate being lonely). Now, after everything is kinda resolved(at least 85% I promise), I kinda like being single.

After the event, I started to observe girls more. Not checking girls out, but simply observing them. Like I would observe if a girl is secure or insecure, superficial or real, how one initiated things, how one serves people. I simply started to observe girls and how they interact with people(girls and guys), I started to learn from what I observed. Not that I am able to judge if a girl is bad or good(it would be outrageous to do so), I start to observe how what she does or behaves either attracts or repels me. Now here is the cherry to top it off—because I started observing, I noticed MANY attractive girls and women. I began to stop observing and started to admire them instead.

When you admire them, you tend to do things to catch their attention. I do some stupid things, that I am not proud of, to catch their attention. So ya, sometimes I act like an idiot so as to make the girl I admire laugh or notice me. Ok, perhaps this is a bad behavior. I may have to stop this. Haha! 😛

Singleness allowed me to be able to learn how to interact with guys as well. I guess this is part of the reason why I am thankful that I was placed into an all boys cell. I learned how to be crazy and real before the guys that I lead—something that I could never learn leading a mixed cell.

I have plenty of time to do the things I like as well. I love swimming! Having water all over your body, hearing nothing but the sound of water and your own breath is extremely therapeutic.

This may be a weird season for me, but ya, I am just going to enjoy myself enjoying being single until I warmed up to a person whom I admire and my mentors all give me the green light to. Until then, you can bet that I am
Going to enjoy my single life to the fullest! Thank God for singleness! 🙂

-Kelvin-

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