=123= Words of Melancholy: Grace


What an amazing word.

Lord, allow me to never to take your grace for granted again.

I am afraid to go to your presence, because i know how you will give me this grace that i definitely do not deserve. I understand how i would waste it again and again until the day i die.

Then, i realise that without this grace, i cannot go on living. Without this grace, living does not have meaning. Funny how i was looking for direction and grace provides this direction.

I hate it that i am taking God’s grace for granted. I wish i never knew about God’s grace, at least i would not know that i am wasting someone’s life away. Now that i knew and tasted, the bar is set so high, how can i live to meet such a high standard?

Then i realise that God’s grace say we simply can’t.

We simply can’t reach the bar so high, that is why we need God’s grace. Funny how it works that way. We do not deserve God’s grace. We get God’s grace. We realise that we can’t reach God’s standards. God’s grace helps us. We fall. We feel unworthy to come before God. We realise that God has been there all along. We realise that we are running away from the very thing that can help us. However, how can we run away from God? I ran from the hotel to the park and realised that his presence is everywhere. God simply gave His grace to us.┬áThen we waste it away. How can we ever reach the standard? We can’t.

The devil is evil. He ploys to stumble you as hard as possible. If he can’t tempts you in this manner any longer, he tempts you in a new manner. Such an ass. If there is an ultimate ass competition, the devil will be the finalist and champion. It is not enough that you are going to die, you want to pull everyone down with you? Sheesh, sounds like a butt to me.

My flesh, when will you listen to me? Paul beats himself to keep his flesh in control, do i really have to beat you? My flesh, you are annoying you know that? You dived into a period of experimenting. You can think can’t you? Even logic tells you that nothing in this world can satisfy and you still look in the wrong source.

The level of temptation is so high, but Kennaf is right; the bar is fixed. Stop making excuses. Let’s start from ground zero. Let’s work up.

Screw this, i am going to end with my name even though this is quite emo.