=127= Melancholic Reflections: Terms

Wow, hey people from US! Thank you for reading my blog! 🙂 Please feel free to leave a comment! I would love to hear from you guys.

I often wonder why are there so many terms and test on personality. Introverted & Extroverted. Melancholic, Sanguine, Phlegmatic and Choleric. Love language test. A more recent discovery is the 16 personality test, which is pretty cool! Check it out here. For those who are keeping score i am an ISFJ which is pretty cool, but i have this obsession of being different and having one of the most common personality types is not cool…

Ok, back to what i wonder, why are there so many things on personality or rather, why are these test and terms so popular? I actually think that it roots from a desire that just wants to be understood and being able to relate to something. Everyone has moments when they feel misunderstood. Everyone has felt loneliness before. However, everyone responds to loneliness differently. One would wallow in self pity. Another would drive himself to other friends. These decisions are what shapes us and forms our personality types.

Haha, i sometimes think that these personality stuff are all cold readings. Wait, i am very sure they are! They are all based on speculation off the way the questions were answered. Sometimes certain adjectives describes everyone. I mean if you simply use a word like “warm” or “loving” to describe someone, i believe at least 60% of the people would be able to relate to the word. Sometimes it may be because they have a very bad or vague idea of what the word means. For example, if i asked you to tell me what is “love”, you will witness that everyone has trouble explaining it. Not only that, everyone’s definition would be different. What you will get from one person is different from another. One says it is a feeling another says it is an action. This is quite interesting, love is such a vague idea that there is the five love language thingy to help explain how one loves.

Relationships are complicated man. Not just relationships with the opposite sex. Relationships with guys are complicated as well. I have no idea how to react to the actions. Especially with strangers or friends that are not close. Should i joke around? Should i be serious? Should i be caring? I have no idea how to interact with a stranger. Gosh, just kill me. If i collected a dollar for every moment i was awkward, i would be a billionaire already!

Perhaps by understanding ourselves, it would be easier to approach others. Maybe another thing we could do is to read up on the person’s personality type would allow us to understand better! It is good! It is good that you are trying to learn how to interact with others! You are taking the initiative many people are not willing to. For me, i realised several ways of how to break the ice.

1. I would act extremely animated. Ok, Haha! I always think that this is a great way to break the ice with someone guys and girls alike. I mean if staying quiet is going to be awkward, i rather i be what you laugh at. At least there is interaction between us. However, this has it limits. I realised that this drains me a lot. So if i tries this again and again and you are not responding by laughing or continuing the conversation, i will simply die down and be stone instead.

2. Be real. Ok, this is the back up plan after being animated or what i do when i realise that i do not have the chance to be animated(for example, when you are going to do work with someone, joking around might be inappropriate). This is simply being yourself, not being animated just to attract attention. Problem about this is that you would reveal your insecurities to the other party as well. Sometimes, it is repulsive.

3. Initiate. Well, if you do not talk, i will go ahead and talk. Since i am a guy and i am designed to initiate and start things, i should be the first to talk. It may be awkward and all, well at least i am trying!

I really have no blanket cure for maintaining a relationship. I have a blanket cure for recovering from a heartbreak though. Pour everything out to God. Give your bitterness to Him. Then, OPEN YOUR EYES. People going through a heartbreak often have short sightedness; they are often unable to see their own blessings. So instead they wallow in self pity over what they do not have and they do not see how much they have. Trivial or not, this is very important.

Being a Melancholic myself i have an ability to think of many different situations and outcomes, hence, i would become overly pessimistic sometimes. As someone that thinks, logic is something that has to come into play. I do not like things that i do not understand. Too bad for me, no matter how hard they make a science out of personalities or love or relationships, even i would never understand myself fully. I would never understand others fully. So i go to the one that knows me the best. So in turn, i would know myself better.

On a unrelated note, i am really grateful for everyone in my life, I really give thanks for being such amazing support in my life. You have no idea how much i give thanks for you being by my side. I do not have much friends, so being there for me, spending time with me does wonders for me.