=131= Melancholic Reflections: Thrill

Very recently, i made a protected post. It has been a while since i made one so i just want to say if you follow my blog and you know me personally, you can simply come up to me and ask me for the password! I would most likely give it to you. However, be warned, what i posted might not be what you expect! Hehe!

Let me post about something though. Thrill of a relationship.

Relationships are something that i have found interesting to analyse, but even the best analysis will not allow one to master the wooing of a girl. You can’t analyse what kind of girl she is, then use a scientific way of pursuing her. If there is such thing, PLEASE let me on! HAHA!

Everyone understands how it is to like someone(At least i hope). You may not have a girlfriend/boyfriend before, but you would certainly have crushes on someone before(At least i think so). If you liked someone before and you tried to pursue it before you will understand the thrill of pursuing someone. Much like sports where people are hooked on to it because of adrenaline, many people are hooked onto dating due to the thrill. However, do you really think a relationship will last on thrill? You will try every new thing and realise that there is nothing that can satisfy you, so you move on and try to pursue another woman/girl to find this thrill again, saying that this thrill is love. You see this man is mistaking the thrill of the pursuit as love, hence giving himself the excuse, “that i do not have feelings for you anymore” to want more of the thrill. This is a never ending lust for thrill.

I personally do not think that the thrill is wrong. The thrill is something that really drives us to pursue and continue to pursue, to take risk, to aim for something way beyond their league. However, i am puzzled. What is this thrill called? It is not sex drive. For it is a drive that drives one to have sex. To drive a man towards marriage. It is not lust, for if it is, practically everyone needs to repent. Ah, for the sake of ease, let us just continue to call it thrill. Even though this thrill gives us courage to do things we will never do, it will also give us courage to do things that are just not us, just to get someone to like you. Is doing so lust as well? Not doing things out of your comfort zone, but doing things so as to get their attention. Relationships are complicated i guess.

I am afraid to meet my mentor this coming thurs(you know who you are!), mainly because i am afraid about what he might say. I am almost certain that he would convict me. Sometimes, no, actually, most often, people KNOW what is right and what is wrong. People know what is wise and what is not. However, in a fight between their heart and head, the head loses because of how powerful the heart is. (OK, sorry guys, i am going to crap now) The head and the heart had a duel. The head tries its very best to control and stop the heart from beating, but it can’t. The heart however, simply stop the blood flow to the head and the head stopped working. The head lost to the heart because the heart is what empowers it. However, in the battle of head and heart, there is an external source, what comes in to this system. It is possible for the head to win, provided that the head gets support from outside. What comes into your brain will decide the fate of this battle. If you are struggling with something and someone tells you it is alright, no need to struggle, you will stop struggling. However, in the same way, if you are struggling and someone gives you support in this struggle, you will continue to fight on. That is why i am so thankful for my mentors that has been supporting me so much. Convicting me to not do what is unwise is something i will always need. (Oh and the story about the head and heart is nowhere scientific, so please do not kill me! Haha!)

I dunno luhh, i see how. It is not like i am pursuing a relationship now, but the thrill right now is unwise.

Haha, looks like my head has gotten stronger.

On an unrelated note, i have a goal of getting my own cymbals by the end of my Poly life. I want Paiste Masters cymbals! The hi-hats and 20 inch crash is exactly what i want! Oh, i have to start searching for jobs during holidays already.

-Kelvin-

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