=123= Words of Melancholy: Grace


What an amazing word.

Lord, allow me to never to take your grace for granted again.

I am afraid to go to your presence, because i know how you will give me this grace that i definitely do not deserve. I understand how i would waste it again and again until the day i die.

Then, i realise that without this grace, i cannot go on living. Without this grace, living does not have meaning. Funny how i was looking for direction and grace provides this direction.

I hate it that i am taking God’s grace for granted. I wish i never knew about God’s grace, at least i would not know that i am wasting someone’s life away. Now that i knew and tasted, the bar is set so high, how can i live to meet such a high standard?

Then i realise that God’s grace say we simply can’t.

We simply can’t reach the bar so high, that is why we need God’s grace. Funny how it works that way. We do not deserve God’s grace. We get God’s grace. We realise that we can’t reach God’s standards. God’s grace helps us. We fall. We feel unworthy to come before God. We realise that God has been there all along. We realise that we are running away from the very thing that can help us. However, how can we run away from God? I ran from the hotel to the park and realised that his presence is everywhere. God simply gave His grace to us. Then we waste it away. How can we ever reach the standard? We can’t.

The devil is evil. He ploys to stumble you as hard as possible. If he can’t tempts you in this manner any longer, he tempts you in a new manner. Such an ass. If there is an ultimate ass competition, the devil will be the finalist and champion. It is not enough that you are going to die, you want to pull everyone down with you? Sheesh, sounds like a butt to me.

My flesh, when will you listen to me? Paul beats himself to keep his flesh in control, do i really have to beat you? My flesh, you are annoying you know that? You dived into a period of experimenting. You can think can’t you? Even logic tells you that nothing in this world can satisfy and you still look in the wrong source.

The level of temptation is so high, but Kennaf is right; the bar is fixed. Stop making excuses. Let’s start from ground zero. Let’s work up.

Screw this, i am going to end with my name even though this is quite emo.



=122= Gear I HAVE: Audrey and Hazel



Cool right? Hahaha! I am once again very thankful for the gear that I have! I have a very nice snare drum and a cajon. My snare drum is called “Audrey” and the cajon is called “Hazel”.

I realised that I name my stuff based on movie characters. Audrey is the wife of Flectcher Reed of Liar Liar and Hazel is Hazel Grace Lancaster from The Fault in our Stars. A reason why I name my gear those names are partly because of the colour as well. Audrey seemed to have a loose link to Autumn, so because it is the reddish brown kinda colour, I named it Audrey. Hazel is a bit darker I guess, but sounds really warm as well.

Audrey is donned with the Hydraulic Black drumhead for the batter side and the Hazy 300 on the snare side. When I played it today, I was so impressed with the sound and response! It was just a very good snare sound.

Oh I realised that I never did explain how I got Hazel. I actually wanted a cajon for a very long time. I wanted my own so I can kinda jam with friends when they have a guitar. I finally did it when I went for the class chalet yesterday! So much fun! I never could afford one though. I could afford the cheapest in the range, but I do not want the cheapest. I learned that a musician should always buy something better, this is for a better resale value and a better sound. So always look out for promotions and second hand stuff. I was just discussing with Elvin about it, then, I saw Singapore Drum Shop having a promotion for the drum box cajon. This is a very expensive cajon, 500 dollars, it marked down to 330. Together with the bag, it was 355. I got it for my birthday! Hazel’s sound is amazing! Love the resonance of the bass and the way the acoustics of the cajon was treated; I can hit ANY surface of the cajon and still get a very good sound from it.

I give thanks for Audrey and Hazel! May I use these instruments for your glory God! 🙂