=149= Melancholic Reflections: Marathon

I just came back from a very fun and nice movie marathon with JED! council. So fun sia! It is not just about what movie we are watching, it is 75% the company we have.

Personally, LC this year has been one of my greatest supports of the year. It has been such a family to me and I just love spending time with them! I just realised that my sense of humor is vastly different from my friends in LC… 😦 Liar Liar was not as funny to them as it was to me.

During the marathon, we skped Esna. It was very happening! πŸ™‚ Esna, would have loved to talk to you more, but I think it would be chaotic if I tried to talk at the same time! So Ya! Glad to be able to see your lovely face! πŸ™‚ if you are reading, I have convinced myself to go for ‘no’ over the issue. I would stop myself now because I would not want to throw away my calling. Let me focus at one thing at a time. Haha, talk to me! πŸ™‚

One highlight of the marathon was Buddy. This super cute 8-year old dog has so much energy and is such an abundant of joy. I would say that I was sleeping and Buddy stepped on me, but I rather liked it! He pays attention to people way better than a lot of the other dogs I know. He would look me in the eye for long periods of time and play with me! He is very cute but very smelly too! This really stirred up the desire of owning a dog.

Before this marathon, I actually thought of how we could have breakfast together as a LC. I have a simple desire, one day if I become a RL, I will have a simple breakfast in the morning with my LC before they go for their cell at 9am. It will be perfect, I will go buy food at Redhill Market then will bring it there! This is something I want to do one day! Let’s see!

Then Worship today was extremely tiring. Being as tired as I am, I would really rather stay where I am. However, I promised to worship God the way I would on stage off stage and so I jumped. It was really shack. During the worship songs, I really cannot concentrate at all. I was complaining to God how tired I was.

Thank you God for Footsteps. I am really grateful for my cell being how it is. A family. A band of brothers. Loving each other with a kind of love that is so rare. Lord, quoting Hana Kimi, I feel like I can do the impossible when I am with them! Thank you Lord!

I am so tired, but now I am gonna crash! Thank you Lord for your providence! πŸ™‚


=147= Words of Melancholy: Shows

“Oh no, it’s raining.” He said as he put his cap on.

“It’s not rani…”

“No, it is raining” while a tear drops down his face.

People unfamiliar with FMA and the context in which why Mustang said it would believe that he said it to cover up his tears. Sure, it might, but it also has a hidden meaning. Mustang is the flame alchemist. His way of combat is to use alchemy to concentrate oxygen around his glove, then he would use the his gloves, snap and make a spark, then BOOM. Even though it is extremely powerful, it has its limitations. He is unable to make a spark when it is raining. He is useless in the rain. He is saying that he is useless. Useless to protect his friend.

Another scene from shows that I really liked was Big Bang theory. The scene where they gave Howard many possibilities of what was in the letter from his Dad and one of it was true. So in this way, he can still not know while knowingβ€”a very clever and genius way of doing things. It is one of those moments where TBBT could actually keep moment and keep a secret or continuity. The series has trouble creating continuity in certain things. They did not keep the champagne until one of them got a good break, they decided to write that off and I think that that was so sad. This moment is able to capture this relationship without revealing too much, hence giving room for continuity. In my opinion, the most well written scene. It is very well shot as well. If you notice the transitions, they quite cleverly changed the way they approached Bernadette. Instead of the simple switch frame transitions, they dolly-ed into her shot, making us notice her answer even moreβ€”a good way of telling the audience the answer without telling the cast.

Many authors whom I read grew up in a culture of reading books. For me, I grew up watching shows. It has been my favourite past time for a very long time. I think because of that, the way of writing, the way of doing things might be very different. Well, I do think that there is value in watching shows.


=145= Words of Melancholy: Better

Why is it better for you to run after the bus?

Sometimes when I go out with my mum, we would see a bus approaching, I would try chasing the bus while my mum would continue walking and sigh.

My mum is not at fault. My mum is getting old and I understand why. However sometimes I would have the same effect with my friends and I just get annoyed. You are young with two good strong legs, why don’t you try?

Same with sports. My floorball team aren’t very good at running, so what they do is that they would wait for the right time to strike. However, the problem is that there is no good time, sure, once in a while there is one, but not all the time. Their plan is bound to fail.

I personally think that one should try his/her best to try. If you miss the bus, fine, it is expected, but if you catch the bus, you save so much time. If you simply exert yourself a bit this one time, you can rest the entire bus ride with aircon. Same with sports, if you fail and lose a game it is expected, but if you score a point and win, you become more of a man.

I see so many people not trying because they do not believe in themselves. Whether is it Leadership or CAMY, participating in a game or singing in karaoke, they stop themselves being able to achieve their potential. You can ask any musician or athlete, would any of them say that they did not get where they are with hard work? Sure you may not think that you have the talent or ability to do so, but no one becomes a genius overnight. Even the fastest learners need time to absorb and perfect their craft and skill. As a drummer, you have no idea how many low points I had in my service. I failed countless times before being able to play half as well as I can now.

Guys, try. You have no idea what can transpire.


=144= Melancholic Reflections: Identity

Yesterday, we shared on our past year. I shared on a few struggles i had this year. The first being finding colour/flavour in life. It is a funny word to use because it is not that i do not have meaning in life, it is because i do not find the meaning meaningful. I had to reset myself almost from ground zero. It was probably the toughest thing for me to do yet. In this season, i slowly changed from Choleric to Sanguine. Finding colour, is extremely difficult. It is like a person who is colour blind trying to see Red or a person who can’t taste trying to taste saltiness. I felt as if i have been stripped off of everything and had to find it again. It was so painful.

After finding a bit of colour, I wanted purpose. Not meaning, purpose. Meaning is the reason for living, purpose is a bit more specific(at least in my own dictionary). In my walk, i know i wanted to do something big for God. I want to do something that can revolutionise the world or the community. Perhaps my greatest fear is like Augustus, I am afraid of Oblivion. I do not want to leave this life without at least having an impact on someone. So i wanted something kinda like a full time calling. I see people like Esna doing such an amazing thing and i am envious. I see people being so sure of what they want to do in their lives that i am so anxious. How can i live this life without a plan? So i sought the Lord, i sought after him again and again, kept asking him for something to hold on to; for a calling. However, the Lord knows me so well and did not give me what i want. Instead, he gave me a different kind of calling, He told me to focus on the present and touch the people in my circle now instead of thinking so far ahead. The affirmation that i got for this was crazy. Almost everyone i shared this with encouraged me and shared their past experience on a similar occurrence with me. Ok Lord, Now is Now.

Elsa concluded everything in one word, Identity. It was a year on Identity. Well, it took a year, but i more or less found what i want to do. Lord, may you bless me with a year of great harvest next year? I will post something on LC soon, maybe two weeks from now, after i have my last LC of the year! πŸ™‚


=143= Melancholic Reflections: J333

Surely the God that made you can use you.

Interesting! πŸ™‚ Very very cool! Thank you God for blessing me with a J333!

J333 is really where I find rest. It is an amazing avenue for me to worship and rest in the presence of God. I really wished I could go every week, but well, I can find rest in a different place.

First, I got a bit of my math done! Thank God for time, hopefully I can match the speed of the annoying teacher. Well, I really want a someone to adopt me! Haha! Like you know how Kennaf and Nathan are! Aiya, it is a funny request, but well, let us see! πŸ˜€

Then, worship was great! πŸ™‚ it was very cool to see Augustine actually wanting to pray for others, but didn’t dared to! Thank you God for allowing me to encourage them! It was really satisfying for me to see him step up and pray out loud for them for healing!

Pastor Scott called for people with a muscle pulled on their left leg! So cool, that is me! πŸ˜€ stupid me slipped while trying to get over the floorball fence, bring down three boards at the same time. Oh well, at least I get to laugh! Haha!

I went out to the toilet and I felt burdened to pray for a lady sitting there with her phone. I went up to her to pray for her. I felt silly, but I really thank God for using me.

Sis Andrea came! Haha! It’s been so long! Sight for sore eyes! πŸ™‚

Then I got to go home with Miss Gao. Miss Gao is someone very amazing. She takes initiative to do things that no one does. She asks about why I went up to the altar. She asked me how I am doing. Maybe I do enjoy talking, well, it is good to break the silence. She is the person God has sent to counsel and encourage me to do something. This is probably my highlight of today. Thank you for a bit of healing today Lord.

Can’t run away from God. Need not just to forgive seven times, but seventy seven times. Lord, teach me.

Lord, am I really that straightforward? Haha, Miss Gao knew exactly who I was talking about when I told her about my struggle. She said that it was just me. Am I really that easy to read? Haha, it is good I guess! Being real and authentic is something I really want to thrive towards. My mentors are really people who are real! I give thanks for that! Lord, may you use me in more ways that I ever imagined. Lord, give me a voice to sing for you. Lord, give me wisdom to teach your people. Lord, give me wisdom and opportunities to touch people. Father, give me a fire that will keep burning for you.

Thank you Lord! πŸ™‚



Slightly after this post, Esna bugged me to say something. So ya, now she knows. Esna, if you are reading this, please remember that with great power comes great responsibility!
Thank God for sharing the load though! πŸ™‚