=141= Days to Remember: Tired

Before I start, jut let me say that this post isn’t emo!

I went to G2 with Jun Kang today as I thought there will be training and I could you know listen and help out. I have a burden to teach music/encouraging people who are playing music because music is such a funny thing. It is not easy to play a song, much less to play a song with a band. Many people and I mean many, lose confidence when they start to fail playing something they are supposed to. It is a very sad thing to watch. To see a musician who can actually play something well, but they lose confidence as time continues. Isaac said something quite real the last band training I went, “If you play something wrong without confidence, it is wrong. If you play something wrong with confidence, it is still wrong. However, if you play something right but without confidence, it sounds wrong.” That is the horrible thing about playing music, it really destroys confidence. It is also what keeps people humble all the time, to know where you fall short.

I went there with the intention of simply teaching the drummers, but instead, I made lots of new friends! 🙂 Hui Min, Winnie, Joseph and Jarius! It is good! Thank you Lord for giving me an opportunity to play with the new batch! It is VERY cool that this batch is so young. I foresee that they will grow into a batch that will really bring their musicianship to a new level. I sure hope they will stick together! 🙂

Another thing that I found out was that Jun Kang is at a very good level as a musician. He knows what to prepare. He knows his stuff and that is quite cool! He will probably the first few in his batch to pass probation! Hopefully! I think I was more of a Daniel, someone that is quite foreign to the band language and playing, but as long as he works hard, he will be great as well! 🙂

I was really surprised that there wasn’t anyone to help facilitate the band rehearsals. So I was there helping them to play together as a band. I was trying to teach dynamics and sonics to the drummers and helping the band to think of transitions, it was really cool! When I stopped helping them, it was very interesting to see people stepping up to lead and suggest ideas. Very much like an actual band. I was surprised once again when I heard that they wanted to meet up again for rehearsals! I mean, it is their own free time and they are willing to give it up so that they can play better, that is very cool! They looked very close to each other as friends as well, I really hope they will stick together and play music together, maybe as an actual band? Haha!

Then, for worship, I was able to hear the individual instruments. I think sometimes as a drummer, I become so conscious of my timing and dynamics, i don’t really listen to others. When people like Alvin say that they are able to hear the acoustic guitar as it is so obvious, I just cringe because though I have been serving for a year and a half, I am still unable to hear and look out for different instruments. Recently, as a practice, I try my best to hear the bass and tenor harmonies when I am listening to music in the train. My ears has been better! I was able to hear Daniel’s supper cool bass lines, Isaac’s very nice plucking, Grace very nice keys and the sweet harmonies by the vocalist! Hopefully, I will be able to hear everything soon! 🙂

During worship, I felt release. I really gave everything I had in that set. It is a funny feeling that you will have in your heart after playing. As though you just poured out your heart with song.

I did something for the first time today. I responded for the altar call while I was serving. After I heard Tiff’s sermon and was called up to the stage, when I was on my cajon while Ga was singing Broken For You. I felt a bitter taste in my mouth. I felt like I was a hypocrite myself for being on stage when I should really be off stage, but because I have been serving for so long and my instrument is key for dynamics I have always convinced myself to not go off stage. Then, I saw Daniel go down. Then I saw Kit Yee go down. -sigh- the bitter taste is getting stronger and I my heart felt horrible. Ga later addressed the congre to call out more people, I felt like she was talking to me. No more. I took out my earphones and waved to Ga, she said yes. The minute I went down and kneeled, I broke. The strong facade that I have been putting on just crumbled. No more. Quite honestly, I have no idea why I cried. I was not thinking about anything in particular, but the bitter feelings just flowed right out of me. Tiff prayed for me. Then Ben Soon put his hand on me to comfort me. Thanks Bro, you have no idea how much that meant! 🙂 he shared about his struggles and ministered to me. I was really admiring his faith.

Another highlight was this I guess, I met someone who hasn’t been coming to church today. It is funny, because I have been burdened to text her one day, but I kept putting it off, so when I saw her, I was quite happy! 🙂 then she was talking to our friend which we met during rhema. It was a very subtle reunion. I really enjoyed their presence.

Actually a huge part of what people that prayed for me talked about today was for friends! Haha, it is a very funny thing to pray for, but I am seeking for friends. I yearn for a group of people where we can just share and support each other, souring each other on to love God. I am blessed with two group in school, well, not really spiritual support, but they are still pillars. I am blessed with a few close friends, one work buddy, one brother, one spiritual brother, a lot of close friends. 🙂

Perhaps I am looking too far? I dunno, I am just hoping that I will have one. It’s good!

It’s a good day! 🙂

Why is this post titled ‘Tired’? It is because after I cried, the only thing I could think of is that I am tired, I just want to go home and rest and sleep. I have rested spiritually, now I want to rest physically. Thank you God for blessing me! 😀


Oh, and I had a very nice time with Jedidiah. I think I have some special chemistry with people one year younger! Haha! Well, thank you lord for this Bro! We shared lots of our lives to each other! Thank you Lord!