This time last year, I still had a pillar of support. However on Christmas Eve, that pillar, stopped supporting me and I realised that I was all alone.
It was painful. I was there, by myself, not knowing how to respond to that. I walked a bit and I was scared. There is no one by my side to assure me. Then throughout this whole year, I slowly learnt how to be comfortable with myself. Perhaps I was so used to having pillars assuring me who I was that when they stopped, I realised that I never knew myself. I went through a season where I looked for colour, a season where I looked for direction and a season where I exercised my gifts and finally, a season to teach me to do what was right rather than what I wanted to do. Now, I am at a place where I think I am rather alright? Haha, I am not very much affected by the thought of not having a girlfriend. There I girls that I admire, but I am at a place where I am comfortable not approaching them for a relationship.
There are many perks to being comfortable being alone or being yourself or being single.
1. You are comfortable.
Hahaha, mind blowing right? Let me explain. When your worth is not based on someone else, you become more free, not caring what people think of you, this makes conversation a lot easier rather than stressing over whatever kind of response that would make the other party happy. I much rather prefer a person who shows his/her emotions than someone who is passive aggressive. Being comfortable gives you more real conversation.
2. You learn more about yourself.
Being comfortable being single, gives you more time to reflect and learn about how you work and what energizes you. It forces you to take ownership of your life and know what kind of flaws you have. I do know that sometimes a partner would be able to spot your flaws easier, but having the ability yourself allows you to become a better person before meeting someone.
3. You get to interact with more people.
Being single gives you loads and loads of time to interact and have many friends. You will learn how to love other people as a friend rather than just loving your girlfriend or boyfriend. Being single also means that you have the license to interact with people of the other gender(ok this sounds wrong). This may sound wrong, but it allows you to experiment with how to interact with girls as a friend. You will learn the boundaries, the questions, the ways to be a brother to your sister.
4. You start to admire people.
You will never be a perfect person, but you will find good examples of who you should be or see qualities of people that you like or qualities that you want to achieve. Because you are single, you can admire people of the opposite gender too. This widens your perspective and you learn more!
5. People trust you more.
Because you are comfortable with yourself, you are being real to whoever you are interacting with. When you are real and people can see it, they will trust you more as they know that you will not spill the beans. You will not backstab them over something minor.
6. You get to do other things.
As you have more time being single, you look for different areas to invest your time in. You can find a new hobby, a new passion; something that may affect you the rest of your life.
7. You learn how to better deal with loneliness
Being single or alone will mean that you will face loneliness. Even in a relationship, you will face loneliness. However, being lonely while single teaches you how to deal with it yourself and not rely on another girl. You start to distract yourself from your loneliness and do stuff. This would help in a marriage when one of you goes overseas or something. Learning how to deal with loneliness when you are single helps you when you are married.
Oh well, the gift of singleness is a good gift. Lord, please let me treasure this gift as I live this life. Teach me to love people. Teach me to love you more. When I love you more, my affections for my spouse would not be unhealthy. I would not be obsessed with loving my spouse and place this idol in front of you. I would not be at a place where I can’t say that I am proud of it! Lord, thank you for redeeming my relationships and teaching me so much in the process. I give thanks Lord!