=154= Words of Melancholy: Reminder

Sometimes in life, we do not need to be told what we need to do. We need to be reminded. Over and over and over again!

The difference between the two is the way someone approaches you. Being told what to do approaches the man thinking that he has no idea how to handle the problem. Being reminded approaches the man who has encountered similar problems in the past but has not put in the same effort or way to tackle this problem.

Being reminded is a lot scarier because you know that you are not doing what you are supposed to do, but approaching someone like this reinforces the original way to tackle the problem. You have to reinforce, not building another way. Just like a system if you put too many gears in one place, it will get too heavy and mess up the whole system. Instead, by reinforcing the original system you keep things lighter and allow better performance. However with only one system, you can only achieve one kind of result. We need a system to achieve multiple result. So now instead of adding new stuff, we are modifying the original system. Not to make it weaker, but to make it better.

The most recent reminder was from my pastor’s blog, “No point asking for prayer when you are not praying yourself”. Lord, I want to be prayerful. I want to pray, but I can’t. I want to pray but it is so tiring. I use tired as an excuse to stop praying and end up sinning more than ever. Lord, can you teach me how to desire you? Can you teach me how to love you? Can you teach me how to rely on you? Can you teach me how to teach? Teach me how to pray. Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive our sins just as how we forgive our debtors. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.

How can that prayer that is so simple to say, be so difficult to mean? Lord, I am tired. I am weak. Stop giving me strength so I can rely on you. Stop giving me pride so I can glorify you. Give me faith. Give me love. Give me hope. Give me life. Lord, teach me again and again. Remind me again and again. Please do not let me break your heart again. Break my heart for what breaks yours everything I am for your kingdoms cause. As I walk from earth into eternity. Lord, how can I sing something so huge so easily and live such a horrible life. Now I think I am using too many words. The most difficult thing when repenting before God is to use as little words as possible to mean what you say. It is easier to go on and blather jargon than to simply say, “Lord, I am wrong. Please forgive me”.

Lord, I am wrong. Please forgive me and help me.

Father, I am weak. So weak. Do not let me rely on myself again.

Another reminder. Treasure the relationships you have now. Do not give it up for stupid and untruthful images. Your relationships will last longer than any of these images would.

-Kelvin-

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