=156= Melancholic Reflections: Redeem One

Well, I just got back from Redeem conference! It was quite interesting.

Every single time there is a special service or camp, the youths are putting a little time out for God or the youths will be prepared for something “better”. So worship will inevitably be better and stronger! I recalled how everyone was very hyped up for rhema. Especially Thrive! Everyone was really to worship God! Everyone was cheering! This time round, I believe because the youths are not used to a conference after having two years of youth camp, so they did not have the energy that I expected. They were rather dead.

However, it did not just stop there and Thank God for that! Worship gradually became better and has more energy! I think since the set where they sang “Let praise awaken” the energy and atmosphere of worship just changed and it was quite amazing! Haha! One thing about the sets though! The instruments kept on covering the worship leader. To a point where I am unable to hear whatever the worship leader is trying to say! But, kudos to the worship team! To be able to play everyday and every service is not easy at all! Great job team! 🙂

At the start of the conference at the altar call, the Lord reminded me of the issue he wanted me to do. He wanted me to forgive someone and go up to him and say sorry. I could not. I walked around and was begging God to not let me do it. I told Bro K that there is something that Gods wants me to do, but I do not want to do it. He gave me a simple answer, “just do it lor” and walked away. If that something was that easy I wouldn’t be in such a position(I know this makes Bro K sounds horrible, but he really isn’t. He doesn’t know me well and I phrased it quite vaguely, so it really isn’t his fault. I am just frustrated over the answer) Oh well, I knew I need to settle this tonight, but if I can’t, I need to be accountable to someone. So I simply waited for Bro Ken. Bro Ken was speaking to someone new and I know that he needs to do it. His ability to talk to someone new and make him/her relax is something that Bro Ken is very good at. So I thought to myself that the new person would need Bro Ken more than me. However, I REALLY needed counsel and so I waited for Kennaf. It was really long and I was contemplating going home first and get counsel tmr. I stuck to the original plan. When I told Kennaf about it, he told me certain truths to help me with the choice. “Whether you do it a not, God still loves you”. “I am glad that you are struggling, because I know that you are trying to do what is right”. He gave me a few ways to help me with my issue:
1. Why is God asking you to do it?
2. Think about how much you love God

Oh well, I managed to do one. I pray that the next one will be as successful. I pray that no pride will be in my heart for Lord you bugged me for ages to do it, sent me messengers to remind me and rebuke me, so after all these, if glory doesn’t belong to you, then who does it belong to?

The second night, I had Josh come up to me and pray for me! I give thanks. I shared about my problems and he prayed. He prayed over my pride and asked God to tear down the walls of my pride and go up to the person and just say sorry. I was really struggling extremely hard, but after that prayer I felt encouraged to do it. I bore my heart out once more and God you were faithful, you have blessed me with a rather good response. Lord, my heart aches and is anxious over the next, please bless me. Bless me with courage.

Next I want to talk about the “hole” I dropped myself into. Well, this entire conference is very structured towards the evangelism side and has yelled at me so many different times. Evangelism is really not one of my best areas. I struggle to invite anyone to church. So when they brought Brother Wallis in as a speaker and he spoke lots about evangelism, I knew I wanted to know more. So when I was given a chance to speak, listen rather, to Brother Wallis, I walked there with Josh. He started to explain the heart of compassion that he had for the lost. He explained that it was that he first did it then he had the compassion for them. He did it first. So he asked who is serious about reaching out, I thought to myself, I want to. So I raised my hand. He then asked about how the session was. Then finally, he started collecting numbers for a evangelism importation group. One part of me was like “what am I going to do/what did I just do?” And another was, “why not?” I do not have any answer to the why not, so I simply decided to go for it. I did complain about it after doing it, but I am actually quite looking forward to it. Lord, will you pour favour every month? I am going to get busy man… Lord, please help!

I am very thankful for the people that I hung out with or made friends with. Let me name a few. Winnie, I met before Redeem in CAMY training. Javier, the cute boy that I played with. Renee, the girl that was in my retreat group and thinks that I am crazy. Carol, Renee’s close friend and my lift—thank you for providing! Haha! Daniel, one of the drum trainees. Denise, the sister of Daniel and close friend of mine since CC! Ivan, friends together with Javier and Daniel. Esther, both big and small. Jedi, my good buddy. Of course, my cell, Daniel, Arel, Josh, Kiat and EnMing. Thank you for blessing me! Tiffany Tay, whom I am going to talk about now!

It has been a while since I have found someone THAT easy to talk to. Someone that comfortable with strangers. Tiff is extremely easy to talk to. When we were in the logs room and I asked her if she needed help she responded as if she already knew me. Then gradually we managed to click. She realised how weird I was and I discovered how weird she was! Then we started chatting during the last day. I realised that she was 23 and was like Elsa/Tat Wai/Aaron/Elliot/Andrea’s age! Somehow or another I have really good relationships with people of 23 years old! My work buddy in class is 23 and I pray that God will let me work with him until we graduate! Tiffany is a very real very friendly person! It is like those people you find extremely easy to click with, with you spending almost no effort into the relationship! Sometimes, there needs to be one person to initiate, but with Tiff, it was just so easy to talk to! Oh well, thank you God for such an amazing leader to talk to! Her ability to remember names is incredible. I mentioned four names to her and she managed to pray those four names with no error!

So Ya, thank you Lord for blessing me!