=166= Thanksgiving of the Week

Thanksgiving 28/12/2014:
Ran from temptation
Ran from temptation again, thank you Lord for giving me strength
Had lunch with my Dad
Nice hair
Had so much fun playing with kids
Finished playing for the concert
Made some interesting relationships, Christal, Siobhan, Giovin, Solomon
Had a lot of fun with the other performers, Yun Xuan, Shi Mei, Toi Chia, Celine and Nicholas
Great sleep
Got to drum lessons on time
Great roasted pork
Bought Poh Piang and roasted pork for Ah Ma
Managed to practice.
175 Bpm is still too fast for me
Great dinner
Played with my cousins
Had a great sleep
Ran away from temptation(Lord, please stop me and help me overcome this)
Had a very nice time without my specs and listening to music
Had such a wonderful lunch with my mum and sis
Watched Night at the Museum, good show!
Had a good dinner
Watch a little of drama on TV
Had a wonderful text convo with Denise
Rested well
Ran from temptation
Good breakfast
Caught up to 945
Had the chance to go for the last part of the service!
Wished many people Merry Christmas
Had fun with some guys
Went out with a group of church people for street e, Joni, Jolene, Joyce, Agnes, Ellie, Christopher, Kelly, John and Jasmin
Had a wonderful dinner with my family
Bought two new pants
Had a fun chat over text with Denise
Finished Bro Ken’s card
Rested well
Ran away from temptation
Needed lunch, but it was raining, found chicken pie
Watched Kurosagi on TV using HDMI cable
Went to meet my mum to buy the watch I wanted
The watch wasn’t there, it was out of stock
Then had a nice dinner
Went to my gramps to give my cousins Christmas gifts
Managed to clear a lot of my clothes into my wardrobe
Good breakfast
Caught up to 72
Perfect time with MRT
Cleaned my iPod, phone and watch
Witnessed Mel and David’s wedding
Had great conversation with friends
Great worship
Great practice with Jun Kiat
Managed to write some cards
Gave Miss Tan her book
Great dinner with JED!
Had a wonderful time together
Went home with JED!
Managed to settle some cards
Came to regionals and had lots of fun
Had my heart out when I prayed to close worship
Great sermon that is super applicable
Fun time with Footsteps
Got a nap
Glad that JED! council will have another meeting!

=164= Words of Melancholy: Flood

It was my first time saying a prayer to end worship today. I wasn’t nervous at all, I know what I wanted to say. Halfway through the set after Kiat’s prayer, the thought about praying for next year came into my mind.

When I started, I held a tone of admiration for the Lord. Giving thanks for being by our side as we worship. Immediately after I prepared myself for prayer, I felt a flood of emotions come in. It was as though I was not worshipping God for the past two songs at all and when I prayed, I was. This flood, came with a ton of melancholy. My heart felt burdensome. I started to pray over the fear of change and my heart was really killing me, for I knew the prayer was for me as well. A huge flaw in me, I had change. While I do not show it out like the girls, I am really sad that such a relationship had to end… 😦 perhaps the Lord is tearing another one of my pillars down so I can rely more on Him.

This heavy heart full of bitterness and pain did not go away. I carried it along with me during service. For One Way, I jumped and clapped, but my heart made me feel like a hypocrite. Same goes for the next two songs. During the last song I got Aaron to pray for me. It felt better, but it was still there.

Even as I type now, my heart is full of sorrow. Such a heavy heart, Lord, will you please take this away from me? 😦 Father, I do not want to worship you with a heavy heart, I want to throw this burden down at the foot of the cross, but this feeling feels like it was from you. Lord, take this heart away Lord.