=218= Thanksgiving of the Week

Thanksgiving 29/3/2015:
Breakfast was good!
Found out that LKY just passed away… :/
Went and took passport photo!
Got to school
The review takes $25… :/
Got a seat on 171
Met Mum
Couldn’t collect the vouchers… :/
Had Ding Tai Fung!
Got to esplanade
Did a bit of stuff today!
Had a nice chat with Jie Jun!
Bought her Teh O peng
Enjoyed dinner
Managed the stage door today! Was good!
Had supper with Marianne and Jie Jun
Was nice listening to them
Good chat with Marianne
Missed 109, but caught up to 70M!
Caught up to 159A
Proud of Jia Jun for choosing to do the right rather than beneficial thing
Got to theater slightly late… :/
Learned like a new way to tie stuff
Enjoyed myself though! Had a lot of work done!
Had lunch with the Stage guys!
Hung out with my internship mates! πŸ™‚
Had dinner with them!
The food that Esplanade provided was so good! πŸ™‚
Did up work!
Thank God that I leave one time! πŸ™‚
Mindez said that she bought the Phillip Phllips Behind the Light album for me in Aussie! YAY! πŸ™‚
Thankful for the stage people that taught me and guided me!
Thank you so much Zai and Jali! πŸ™‚
Good chicken stew at home!
Rested REALLY well! πŸ™‚
Gonna be late! :/
Good lunch
Spent good time with mum
Collected the vouchers
Going to G2 now!
Got myself a Michael Jackson! πŸ™‚
Was nice!
Met Jun Kang, made him practice transcribing! It was tough for him but I think it is a good practice for every drummer starting out.
Good dinner with the band
Enjoyed teaching/guiding Jun Kang along in rehearsals!
He sounded good!
I need to work on metronome though… -sigh-
Good chat with Jun Kang and Darren!
Got food at home… :/
Woke up LATE…. 😭😱
Caught up to 159
Time to rush to esplanade
Reached esplanade fairly on time
Good chat with Jie Jun
Went to get waffles
Good lunch with internship mates
Good chat with Jie Jun on the way back
Drum lessons were productive once again!
107 came really fast!
Got my favorite seat
Got home
Rested a bit
Got to grandma’s
Good dinner
Reflected a bit
Rested well
Went to grandma’s for a while
Had Skinny Pizza with mum! Was good!
Went and explored esplanade’s posters/photos for a while
The Q&A was alright luhh
We went around taking a lot of photos! Was fun!
Ended and had Ramen Champion with internship mates
Caught the MRT!
Bought myself a Michael Jackson!
Got to cell!
Good chat with Charissa!
We did the draw my life thingy
First time saw Jun Kang so emotional.
Was great sharing in cell!
Went back home with Jun Kang! Good chat!
Thanked my internship mates
Good bread for breakfast
156 came fast!
Got my favourite seat!
985 took ages… -sigh-
Helped someone with buses
Reached but not hungry so did not eat lunch!
Set up my snare and fiddled with the mount and found a better snare mic-ing for my snare!
Sound check was smooth
Passed Tiff the card
The set itself was great!
I gave up using the metronome halfway… -sigh- time to practice!
Nevertheless, it was good! πŸ™‚
Altar call was nice! πŸ™‚
We builded up together with PJ’s prayer!
Did ‘how do you do’ with Bro Jon and Keith!
Found out something really sad… :/
Leh said that it was one of the best sets in a very long time! WAH! Thank you God! πŸ™‚
Debrief was good!
Took cab to Furama
Had a nice time outside of the room for cell
Service was good!
Worship went well!
Prayed for Jerome and Johann
Got a chat with Denise! πŸ™‚
Siesta was nice!
Food was good!
Worship was awesome! πŸ™‚
Thank God LKY
Good ride home
Good dinner
Practiced a bit on a drum pad!

=217= Words of Joy: Reflections

Well, this week has been nice! I rather enjoyed my week! πŸ™‚ Let me reflect upon a few things.

Being attracted to someone doesn’t mean you need to pursue him/her.
After observing my relationships with people, I realised that I actually have slight attractions here and there. An attraction is evoking interest, it is noticing someone is pretty or finding someone’s personality very easy to talk to or pleasant. Oh man, i just realised how hard it is to explain “attraction”. Anyway, I can say without a doubt, there are attractive girls everywhere. In church, in school, at work, by the roadside, at the bus stop etc etc. Recently, I had a slight attraction to my internship mate, I mean, she is rather pretty and she likes the things that i do like. Compared to my other internship mates, I find it much easier to talk to her. However, that doesn’t mean that i need to bare my heart out. It doesn’t mean that i need to pursue her with all my might just so i can spent some time with her. I treasure this friendship and I will for a long time(I hope at least), but that doesn’t mean it needs to go further than that now. Haha, i think the most i did for her was like buy her a drink, sounds like what i do for my friends right?

I mean, I see people pursue so many relationships and i just ask one question, “How long will this one(relationship) last?” What is the point of jumping into a relationship just to see it fall in a couple of months? Then, comes the heartbreak, recovery then awkwardness when you guys meet up. Now rather than jumping into relationships often, what people should do is this: Go and make friends with whom you are attracted with! When you approach someone as a friend, you approach with no agenda(except maybe wanting to be close to him/her). Hence, instead of having many exes, you will have many close friends. Of course, i do not mean going around making friends so that you can have many girls to like you or have a crush on you. Anyone that does that is an ass.Β I am saying that humble yourself to settle for a friendship.

This is a pride issue. You are not entitled to reciprocated feelings! You are not entitled to a girlfriend. You are not entitled to have a pretty girl be your wife. You are not entitled to anyone. So be humble and give thanks that you get to have another friend! It is not up to me to decide whether you are sincere or not. Well, only God and you knows your heart and its motives, however, if you are getting into a relationship after only a few months of knowing the guy/girl, I am pretty sure you are not sincere.

I can’t believe I am saying this here now. I mean, i am pretty sure i will not say this a year ago. I think we have grown a little older. We grew a little more mature. It is wonderful to know that i have friends in other classes of AVT now! HAHA! I think i have grown a little bit better in handling my feelings and how to approach someone as friend.

I value authenticity
A recent guilty pleasure online is this very nice youtube channel, “JustKiddingNews”. It is this very nice session where they simply read news online and discuss about it. I do not recommend this to any youth for the language used in almost every episode I watched isn’t very good. They discuss from trivial matters to like really solemn and sad news. I don’t really understand why i like it this much! Perhaps it is because of the Sanguine part of me that really likes to hear from people; really like to hear people’s opinions on certain issues. Well, though the language used can be coarse and filled with bad stuff, underlying it, i really like that they are showing honest opinions on issues. On one particular episode, one guy said something that really made sense. “Its like being against abortion, but not doing anything to support the baby being born or the mother”. I mean, if you asked me if i am against abortion, i will definitely say i am. However, i have never thought about how the mother or the baby will survive. Something needs to be done for such mothers.

I am unsatisfied with my musicianship
Well, Bro Shavinn told me not to be too hard on myself on Sat and encouraged me with compliments. However, deep down, i still think i suck. I can be better than the trainees, but i still suck as a musician. It is not being hard on myself, it is me being musician telling myself that i have more to learn. Every week i walk away from service telling myself that I need to work harder, i need to work with the metronome more, i need to practice more, i need to learn more. I actually have the desire to learn another instrument so that I know how to contribute to chord progressions and stuff like that. I want to grow more as a musician, i am not satisfied with how i am now, I want to be more than a drummer, i want to be a musician. Perhaps this desire is upon every musician’s heart; the heart that knows just how much they do not know and the desire that wants to grow more. I dare say that rock drummers need to work on their jazz drumming and jazz drummers need to work on their rock drumming, because both genre has very different requirements. I want to learn more. Back to the practice kit.

Highlights of the weeks are hearing Jun Kang’s testimony and talking to Jerome and Johann. Lord, please remind me to do more follow up with them.

It was a marvellous week! Thank You Lord!


=216= Melancholic Reflections: Esplanade

Well, I am going to end my internship tmr. WOW. IT has been one month already! Quite honestly, I have so much mixed feelings going on. Don’t really know what to feel at this point.

Let me reflect a bit. First of all, i must say that my experience in Esplanade was good. Sometimes i feel as if my presence there was really redundant, sometimes, i feel extremely satisfied with what i had done in the day, but over all, it was a good internship.

Let me praise Esplanade first. The people there are nice. In fact, I must say that i doubt anywhere else will have people so nice. about 75-80 percent of the people working there are malays and they are REALLY fun to work with. Almost all of them smokes and it has been really funny to have them bug me to go smoke with them. Nest, everyone in Esplanade seemed to have a strong sense of pride working there. Even though many would complain about their bosses or about work or policies, all of them actually seemed to enjoying themselves.Β Then, with events happening everyday, I really do enjoy the free shows that I get to watch or like EP launches that i get to listen to. Though sometimes i complain that I am not doing anything and it is a waste of time to be there, I simply can’t walk away from this internship saying that i have learned nothing. My friend put it in quite a nice way. “The experience that we had here…… just won’t go away one lah! The experience is good!” I have met wonderful people that have taught me lots that has trained me well!

Several mentions–though i am not sure if i spelt their names correctly–Sunny, Roy and Sid from the Theatre; they made my first day of work SO enjoyable! Even though they ask REALLY personal questions, they really made me feel at home there on the first day! On top of that, Sunny brought me up to the grid to throw power down, the other two guided me along VERY well as well, i sincerely give thanks. WOW! I was quite sad that Sunny didn’t make fun of me when I greeted him this week… -sigh- oh well. Polar from Theatre as well; Polar was the first person that approached me, asking me if i wanted to learn or just stand there and observe. So when i answered i wanted to learn, he taught me how to tape stuff and assigned me with more work to do. I am glad that he had helped me out! I am quite glad that he told Yun Qi that i asked a lot of questions(though i didn’t). Then, Bear, WAH! His lighting was awesome! It was magical with his lighting and good music. He showed me the dimmer box and all. Next, Madthai(I really do not know how to spell…). Honestly, i learned more staging in one day of his training then i had learned sound the whole week. A few people just do not know how to teach, but more on that later. He guided both me and Jia Jun to help out with the staging; teaching us how to move the Nivo, How to collapse the barricade etc etc. At the end of it, he even gave us(the trainees) some soft drinks to thank us for the help. He even helped me asked my in-charge, which was quite annoying… -sigh-, to let me off early! I really give thanks that he was there for us interns. Then on Tues, another two people to thank was Zai and Jali! They were both VERY nice to teach me how to tie the knot that they tie and teach me all the terms and stuff. Jali in particular looked out for me a lot! He intended to bring me to the buffet together with him, he guided me and taught me the ropes. Thank God that he was there! Zai was extremely hilarious, he sings out of tune jokes around and fools around. He was guiding me through the staging as well! Today, Wah Lee brought us around the Concert hall as well! which was nice!

A hard truth that i learned in esplanade is that “nice people might not be good teachers”. As I said before, everyone in Esplanade is REALLY nice. The worse was like a girl with a scary resting face and was quiet throughout, but even she smiled and reacted well. I heard of another person that scolded my friends, but even him taught my friends stuff. However, the people who shall not be mentioned in this post is who i am about to talk about. They are the people who are nice but do nothing to teach us anything. They are the people who smile and laugh with us, but will not take the initiative to teach or will be distracted with work that he doesn’t even assign us work. Ok maybe the one that is busy gets an excuse, but not the one that is free. They are people that you wouldn’t mind greet and laugh with but not people you would want to learn from. I really do think they need to teach how to teach… -sigh-

From the awkward events where we do nothing, there is an amazing thing going on that people did not noticed; we got A LOT closer. I reckon that when people have nothing to do and they can only sit around and talk, this is the time where you can really build friendships. I noticed that i got a lot closer to my internship mates over the course of these 3 weeks and it was beautiful. I think i have built solid relationships these past three weeks and it is probably the reason why i enjoyed Esplanade that much. I got closer to Yu Hui, Marianne and Jie Jun in particular. I have no idea why, but we have a lot of events together! Therefore we get lots of time to just chat! Like when I was Theatre Studio with Yu Hui and Jie Jun, we just gathered together to talk and chat to kill time. Then i had supper with Marianne and Jie Jun on Tues just to chat. It is not that I am not getting close to the guys, but i am not attached together with many of them. Maybe just Jia Jun? Janzen is a bit quiet, so didn’t get to talk much with him. Dillon is a funny dude as well! I found a Teh O Peng friend that likes watches as well! So that is nice! We realised just how expensive Patek Phillipe was. The model that I saw was like 120k Euros!!! Just kill me now! No money to buy! :<

I want to honour Jia Jun a bit. Well Jia Jun asked me to help him sign his attendance sheet for him one day. This was because he alr had three days off in the week, he needed another day off, but he was too scared to ask our scheduler to block that day. When i saw the message, i was troubled. I mean, I stand by my integrity, when i speak the truth, I speak the truth. I thought about what if Sis finds out and we get questioned. I like to believe that i would carry the burden and just be truthful about it if asked. So i just told him alright. However, i was conflicted inside. I mean, It was the wrong thing to do, but i really do treasure Jia Jun as a brother. I thought about the outcomes and i really do think that him being honest himself was the best choice. In the ‘ideal’ situation, i do it, he doesn’t get caught, he gets away with it, but I doubt it will be that easy. If i do it, his in-charge finds out, it blows up, he gets into trouble. If I do it, his in-charge doesn’t find out, Sis finds out, he gets into trouble. If i promised him, but i do not do it, he gets into trouble. If he tells Sis, it might not reflect well on his schedule that he misses one whole week, but he does not get into any trouble with being dishonest. However, since i already agreed to it, I was like, aiya just do it luhh.

Then, in the bus, i saw Jia Jun text me. I was conflicted inside once again. Do the right thing? Or do the thing that could get the ‘ideal’ situation? Honestly, i will be lying if i said that i wasn’t worried about getting caught as well, but it was the last of my worries(but still my worry). My biggest worry was whether was i doing the right thing or not. Therefore i sent a simple text back to Jia Jun, “Bro, you sure you don’t want to tell Sis ah?” Just to check if he wanted to go on with it. If he said ‘yes’ i would have went on with it. I do not know if this thinking was right or wrong. I need more wisdom on this! :/ However, i was please with his reply. He replied, “I should right? But then if i block it out it would mean that the whole week i am not working…” This little message shows more than people think. This shows a man struggling to choose between the right and the ‘ideal’ thing to do. In the end, Jia Jun decided to tell Sis! With little persuasion from me except like showing him the outcomes. I even added, “Up to you, tell me!” But he decided to do what was right and i am proud of him! Might be really bad on the outside, but on the inside he is a man that chose what was right and that can’t be taken away from him.

Who knew Esplanade will be a place for spiritual battles as well? But I am glad the battle was won!

Would I return for a second round of 6 months internship? Personally, i do not really know… As of now, with adrenaline and the reflecting mood, i really do think that it was worth it. However, like Jia Jun, i also want to experience other places like Marina Bay Sands or the Star. The huge killer about this internship was that there was no pay at all… -sigh- MBS and the Star probably has pay, I will probably be doing similar stuff, but i doubt the people will be as nice and i get to learn as much from people there. SO much mixed feelings… :/

As of now, I really enjoy the distance from my house to esplanade. I really enjoy walking to work and seeing art everywhere. I really enjoy taping my card into the backstage and walk around there seeing signed posters of famous artistes like Jason Mraz! I really enjoy going to work and talk to my internship mates. I really enjoy watching different bands from different countries performing at the outdoor theatre. I really enjoy rigging stuff up bars in the theatre. I really enjoy stepping on my friends’ safety boots because they can’t feel anything with steel toed boots! It was a great experience! I am able to say that i was in Esplanade’s back stage doing work unlike no other. -sigh- How am i going to choose now… 😦

Oh well, i will consider together with my friends, but Esplanade is definitely a great choice and i will seriously consider going back.

On a side note, Lee Kuan Yew’s death is quite a significant one. Singapore media is incredible, we are honouring him everywhere and for good reason. I read on on the accounts. I watch his earlier interviews and speeches and I am amazed at how well he chooses his words and empathisis on them. I noticed a general pattern of his speech. He would often have long pauses or even awkward pauses just so he can find the right words or the right way to speak it. His wisdom in the words he uses is unparalleled in Singapore. Some people even say that he was the Bruce Lee of politics. I quite enjoyed how he deflected the question of how his wife played a part in his life in an interview by saying that he is not there to bare his life out to the public, he is there to talk about public matters. This showed great prioritising of work and life. This was to keep his family safe and i see great wisdom in it. I saw snippets of his speeches on TV and i saw such force and ability to inspire. Just see how many people queued up to pay respects to him(kilometers! O_O) and you will see how amazing his leadership was. Not to mention that he brought Singapore from a poor third world country to a thriving first world country in a generation. I pray for Singapore to have another leader like that. Nothing I say would actually mean much because i am not from the older generation that he impacted the most. However, i am grateful for Mr Lee Kuan Yew for such a wonderful place to live in. People that knows me, knows that i love Singapore, but without Mr Lee Kuan Yew, there will not be a Singapore for me to love. For that, I give thanks.

As Mr Lee Kuan Yew puts so eloquently,

“I have spent my life, so much of it, building up this country. There’s nothing more that I need to do.

At the end of the day, what have I got?
A successful Singapore.

What have I given up?
My life”


=215= Melancholic Reflections: Boundaries

Today was weird. Well, I am very cautious whenever I am around a girl. I mean, they are nice to talk to and all, but I am extremely aware of whatever I do. Like where I touch, where I do not touch etc etc. Like if you really go notice me, the only area where I am comfortable touching a girl at is like their shoulders and down to their elbows. Apart from that, I will normally avoid touching at all. Maybe shoes and feet sometimes, because I like taking off shoelaces(HAHA!). If I do touch a girl’s thighs, it will normally be just like me poking you with one finger. My limit is like poking a girl at the sides of the belly(Erm I have no idea what to call it, you know the area where you poke and it is ticklish? Yeah, that part!) to tickle them, that is all! I would avoid that part most of the time as well. I do not ask for hugs from girls because nah, why so pushy! I recall asking for a hug from a girl once and I still regret till this day cause… -sigh- it was SO awkward…. She did not want to hug me, but I wanted to, then we ended up in an awkward half hug with bodies apart which was so weird. Apart from that, I don’t want to have unnecessary temptations. A hug is something I reserve for my cell kids. They I can hug all I want! πŸ™‚ I try my best not to be too touchy luhh. I have a friend where my classmates complained about his touchy nature and I see no benefit annoying your friends with something so basic. Why not respect their boundaries and have a better relationship with them as a result?

Let me side track a bit, my love language is Quality Time and Receiving Gifts. That is how I personally love people and express my love and receive love. I much rather have a nice time where we can get to know each other better personally than to have a time where we just get so touchy. I mean what is the point of being touchy but knowing little about the person? With this two gifts, I realised that I can really get close with someone in a way. Letter writing. I enjoy receiving cards/notes/letters from someone and recently, I like replying them, for this creates unlimited potential to get to know someone! You will not just make a shallow relationship, you will make a more in depth relationship! A funny thing is that “Physical Touch” is my last love language, but that does not mean I do not enjoy touch. In fact, touching to me has so much more significance! I limit myself touching someone, hence this allows me to value touch as a gift. Reserved for the close few. I am very touchy with my kids and a few of my friends. I think among guys, another love language I actually give is actually touch. Among girls, I am even more aware. I take very close note of contact.

Today, I was interacting with my internship mates and one of them was a girl. She rested her elbow on my shoulder. Well, I have a weakness. I have a weakness for any girl that touches my shoulders longer than a poke. Mainly due to an earlier incident few years back with C. She rested her head on my shoulder. I was an idiot. With the relationship not clear. With me tempting myself everyday while praying for God to keep the relationship pure and good, platonic you know. But how is that possible when you are tempting yourself? That is really stupid. From then on, contact on my shoulders brings back memories that now haunt me. Let me confirm something okay, I have nothing going on with my internship mate! She rested her elbow like a Bro/Sis would. I just had a weak spot there but she did not know.

I need more insight on this kinda things as well. I mean she was just being a friend, but how should my response be? How should I react? Push her away? Tell her that I am not comfortable? Continue? Another girl that I interacted with would slightly “hit” my stomach. Once again, what should my response be? When I gave my blog link to someone, I was worried that she would see what I blogged about and so I made it password protected! What are my boundaries for the words I use?

Oh well, I am still struggling to find my own boundaries and boundaries for interacting with others. Be more firm on what to do and what not to do. Be more focussed on what I am supposed to do this year(my cell/CAMY) and not get myself distracted by these kinda things.

I am thankful that I have such a friend though! She would sometimes add on to my crap and play around with me! I mean sometimes things are already so tiring and serious, what is wrong with being a little childish? Be childish and have a good laugh! It will really brighten your day up! Having a fun conversation can distract you from something. Glad that I have friends like that and I have found one in internship! πŸ™‚

Thank you Lord!


=214= Thanksgiving of the Week

Thanksgiving 22/3/2015:
Woke up
Watched HIMYM
It really is a great show to watch while having meals because it’s just the right time about 20+ minutes, not too long or short! πŸ™‚
Tempted but not fallen!
Lord continue to give me power against my flesh
Went to buy chicken rice
Got some stuff for grandma
She wasn’t home
Got back home
Got a nap
Went but she wasn’t in again… 😦
Rained while I ran back home… 😦
Did a little bit of Untangled
Man, need to stop procrastinating on doing it!
Got a short shower
Gonna be late… :/
Got to Serangoon
Managed to draw some money
Got to esplanade on time
Got my Elephant Kind CD!
Met Justin in Esplanade
Enjoyed the music
The girl’s voice was WOW!
The guy’s was meh
The people were nice, but not as friendly as the other people I met
Got home to chicken stew!
Sync the album!
Updated my phone
Woke up
Watched HIMYM again!
Leb said that the watch straps are here!
Had mixed rice for lunch, was not bad!
Edited some more of Untangled about 88% done
109 came really fast
147 was just in time!
Got onto my favourite seat of a double decker bus!
Got to Jalan Berseh
Orthodoxy by GK Chesterton is too difficult to read… 😫
Drum lessons today was really fun! Had so much done! πŸ™‚
Took 133 to Boon Keng
Had a coffee bread, was meh!
Took 147 back
My triplefi 10 sounds awesome!
Got home
Realised that the container to pack food is slanted
Good dinner at grandma’s! πŸ™‚
Enjoy my time with my cousins
Got to practice a little
Called my kids up! Was good to catch up with them
Caught up with Esther! πŸ™‚
Watched HIMYM
Failed horribly again
Went for a swim was so good
Thank you for such a wonderful time Lord! πŸ™‚
Managed to edit a bit
Got to 109
Decided to go to Bishan instead!
53 was quick!
Bumped into Sean!
Bought my pen and pen refill
Bought another book!
Got a seat on the MRT!
Got to SJSM
Good hor fun
Good chat with Ben Png
Had a good time reading my book!
Good time of J333
Prayed for Pam because I felt led to.
Sis Andrea came!
Good supper
Good chat with Kennaf
Got a seat on the MRT
Got a seat on the bus
Got home
Had mee Siam at home! Was good!
Woke up to sleep another hour more! πŸ™‚
Computer crashed…. 😦
Cannot get it to on… 😦
Father, please save the data, I really need it for children’s church this week
Went to lunch with Johann nevertheless
109 came quickly
Got a seat
Caught up to the train
Got a seat as well
Got onto 154
Got to BTP on time
Had a wonderful chat with Johann! πŸ™‚
On 52 now! Lord, please allow me to retrieve the data
THANK GOD my videos and laptop are both alright!
Walked around Braddel and Toa Payoh! Was nice!
Bought Famous Amos cookies!
Took 159 home was nice
My triple fi 10 was nice! πŸ™‚
Managed to practice a bit!
Good dinner
Exported all the videos I needed
Saved it into the thumb drive ready to pass to Tiff tmr
Sis got my schedule wrong again… -sigh-
Was nice watching TV
Hopefully, I will be able to get to work from 11.30am instead of 7pm…. :/
Woke up early
My GPA is good! 3.85! Hopefully after I review it can be higher!
Sis corrected my Schedule!
Got to esplanade!
Didn’t do anything much
Had a good chat with Yun Qi
Went for dinner
Yun Qi and I went to meet Jie Jun at Upper Concourse
We all went to meet Jia Jun at the outdoor theater
Alright luhh, but seriously doing NOTHING at all… :/
The three bands performing were good!
Ended early
Went home with Jia Jun
Had a good chat with him
Good supper at home! πŸ™‚
Woke up at 6.45 so tiring….
Had bread for breakfast
Missed 159
Caught up to 116
Got to esplanade on time!
But the front door to the locker room is faulty… So had to rush to the back way
It’s okay! Yu Hui and Jie Jun were there doing nothing also!
-sigh- do nothing the whole day sia… 😦
Had a wonderful time chatting with Yu Hui and Jie Jun though! It was a nice time of conversation!
We went to outdoor and everyone was there! Was nice! πŸ™‚
Had dinner with my family at sushi express! Was good! πŸ™‚
We stayed for Stillsunrise’s EP launch!
They are very good! Tight and nice! Good vocals! πŸ™‚
Ended EARLY!
Got a nice chat home again! πŸ™‚
Got home with glutinous rice!
Dad bought a fish burger for me
Woke up
Throat is itchy like mad
Got to church on time
Went to petrol kiosk with Arel and Royce
Cell Intros are once again too long but fun!
Didn’t have cell lessons though… -sigh-
PUSH was nice! Glad to hear Joseph and Jethro pray!
Was struggling with worship, because my throat was so bad, I kept going off pitch and tune. Was so tiring to sing like that, but the Lord taught me to sing from my heart!
I jumped even though I was tired, once again, not for anyone to see but for the Lord. Haha, I actually asked the Lord to give me energy to jump for you in worship as long as I lived!
Spent time with Ezra during service!
Was difficult to communicate but I had fun! πŸ™‚
Had a short convo with Denise! πŸ™‚
Met Winnie and Charissa’s cell!
Had a nice conversation with them! πŸ™‚
Realized that I lost my water bottle… :/
Had Yong Tau Foo for lunch! Was good!
Went to Theater Studio!
Nothing to do again… :/
Went around, went to outdoor theater to meet like Yu Hui and Jie Jun!
Got a bottle of water!
Took photo with Paranoid City!
Went to Green Room and rested!
Met Leb and KitYee at Esplanade!
Went to the Marina Square chicken rice for dinner! Was very nice!
Got back, the two bands tonight were good! But quite alternative once again!
The Strike was awesome!
Striking the stage down was the most productive thing I did this whole week!
Madthai was such a nice person! He taught me more stage in one day than sound for like the week!
He even gave us drinks after we worked
He helped me asked Pirah to let me off early! πŸ™‚
Had a nice chat with friends on the way home again! πŸ™‚
Receive msgs from Esna! πŸ™‚
Caught 132!
Bumped into Lance at the bus stop!
Had soup at home!

=213= Melancholic Reflections: Three Bands

Ok let me do a band review of the three bands that I have watched on Friday! On Friday, three bands from Philippines performed at the outdoor theater and honestly, they are better than last week’s one!

First, Birdforms. Very alternative. Like a Charlie Lim kinda thing but more electronica! The cool thing is that they are a two piece band, with the singer on the guitar and some laptop track thingy for that electronica kinda feel and a drummer. The female drummer is super good! O_O She was the most solid drummer among the three bands. Her playing wasn’t overbearing, so it was nice to listen to! Then her strokes are extremely on time and even! Because they are playing to a laptop track right, it means that she is not speeding up AT ALL! Do you know how difficult it is to do that? With no metronome playing and on Stage Monitors instead of IEMs some more! Super solid! Then the singer’s voice is actually VERY nice! He has wonderful control of his voice! When he played the song that he wrote 8 years ago with just him and a guitar, I just melted. So nice sia! Almost like a John Mayerish kinda song but with more smoothness in his voice! If he does more contemporary stuff with more acoustic kinda music, he will have a much bigger response and market! Oh well, but people have their tastes! Like John Mayer and old country music now… :/

Then came Paranoid City. Let me start with the drummer. The drummer is the less stable among the three bands. When they were sound checking you could totally hear him speeding up and slowing down. Next he hits REALLY loud… It is like back when I thought that because there was a drum shield covering my drums, I do not need to hold back my cymbals and snare and mix my playing properly. You have to see the problem behind playing every loud all the time. If my crashes are too loud, it will be overbearing and jarring to the listener, on top of that, if only my snare and cymbals are loud, how will the sound engineer mix my drums? You would think the way is to turn the snare and cymbals down, but if your snare and cymbals are so loud that when I mute the mics and it is still too loud, then how can I mix? The only way is to raise the other drums to be louder. So then, in order to mix the band well, they have to raise the band as well. Therefore you get one super loud band. Next, his playing is sometimes a bit stiff. I think the way to solve this is simple, teach him the moeller technique. The moeller technique is the best! It is simple to learn and it helps my playing SOOO much! It relaxes my wrist and helps me get faster! Now then, let us talk about the band in general. WOW! They are extremely tight! Kudos to the band to be able to do so many stop-starts and flowing together to well. They support each other very well! They are very much like Blink 182 in style of music, the punk rock kinda music. The singer happens to sound a lot like Blink 182’s singer as well! They did very well in MC-ing! Oh I forgot to mention that all three bands were very good emcees! They entertain very well! Especially Paranoid City! If only the audience were participative! It’s like they did an echo kinda thing, but the last part when everyone in the audience was supposed to sing, no one sang, making it awkward and all… :/ They are good nevertheless!

Then came Brisom. They are good! In fact my favourite part was them singing in their native language! Sounded really nice! Haha almost like a worship song! Then the drummer had good timing and fills for the songs! Very nice!

Then, on Sat, we were at the theater studio! It was really nice to be able to hear Stillsunrise’s songs. It was nice! Like the lead singer was really talented! Singing, playing tambourine and shaker, playing a Tom and a Paiste full crash and guitar! His voice was awesome as well! Very nice band!

Well, it was interesting!


=212= Melancholic Reflections: Yourself

Been reading a bit of GK Chesterton’s Orthodoxy and sadly i must say that i do not understand it. However, I understood one part. Believing in yourself will not make you great.Β GK Chesterton said that actors that can’t act, writers that can’t write believes in themselves. It is better to say that I will fail because that is more likely.

Let me explain. Let us start with an example of a musician. A musician can either be self taught or taught by a teacher. However, is being self taught really true? I think not. I think everyone self taught ought to have an example or help or guidance of some sort. Cobus Potgieter had to download/watch free videos online to learn. So in this way, he is not self taught, he is internet videos taught. He did not believe in himself, he believed in the internet videos. You have to understand that it is impossible to learn something on your own. If you argue that you can look up on information online, now who taught you how to use the internet? If you argue that you can find books on the topic, who taught you to read? Things are usually not mutually exclusive. It is because someone taught me to read that i am able to read books. As I am able to read books, I am able find information. As I am able to find information, I learn about (let’s say) the earth and it’s features from an encyclopaedia. If i never learned how to read, i will never learn about the earth and it’s features.

Let us go back to the original example of the musician. From teaching, i realised that some people catch beats faster than others. Now why is that? I think it is because some people are more used to coordinating their arms and legs compared to others; A basketball player that trains himself to coordinate their limbs are more likely to be faster than someone who does not exercise. Next, They might be more inclined to music than other people. I think (let’s say) a guitarist that has been playing music for 5 years has better knowledge about rhythm compared to a person that was just trying out!

Belief in oneself is the belief that one can do something without other people’s help. It is understandable though, I mean who doesn’t want to be good in something without working hard? Who likes to put down one’s pride to ask for help? Don’t we all have a secret desire to be a prodigy? However, it really isn’t possible; to play an instrument without help is not possible. Even if you are self taught, I bet you listen to music! Belief in oneself is like a someone believing that he/she can play an instrument without even practicing or worse; believing that he/she can play an instrument without even listening to music. It is not possible.

When we rely on others, we are trusting others; we are believing in others. We are essentially saying that we are ignorant and the other party is good. So in this case no one can say that they do not need anyone to rely on.


I was really struggling just now. Then when i went into the pool and did my usual warm ups I couldn’t, i felt the need to put down my legs and do a different kind of warm up. Then, I heard the Lord, “Don’t put it down, I believe you can do it!”

And so i put it up again.

Then i felt that i really cannot do it, then the Lord encouraged me again, “I believe in you”

I put it up again.

This went on until it felt really painful and i just told the Lord, “Lord, I don’t even believe in myself, how can you believe in me?”

“Because i love you. I made you and i love you and so i believe in you”

These words were so comforting in my melancholic head giving me peace. I completed my warm ups successfully with no compromise.


The Lord has been revealing a little about me through my walk with him. Recently through a walk home he reveal another part of me.

While walking home, i noticed a snail in the path. Of course i did not step on it, but i think it will be good to at least move him into the grass patch so he will not be stepped on and be killed. So i tried lifting it up, but there was resistance. Of course I have the physical strength to lift a snail up, but i just did not want to hurt it. Therefore, I left it there and walked away. While walking away, the Lord talked to me again, “You are like that, you do not like to hurt others, even if not hurting them might essentially cause their deaths; hurting them for a while might preserve their life!” Said the Lord, almost like a slap in the face. Therefore, i went back, picked the snail up and put it in the grass patch. My thought process was this, “If I do nothing, someone might step on it, it will die. If i lift it up and it dies, it dies. However, if i lift it up and it does not die, i actually save his life!” What is a little hurt gonna do to it?

Lord, I give thanks for speaking into my life! πŸ™‚


=211= Thanksgiving of the Week

Thanksgiving 15/3/2015:
Woke up early today
Esplanade went well
Corrie, Sunny and the other two TTP people were very nice.
Managed to rig up a lot of lights in like 2 hours
The people there were very nice!
Helped me and taught me lots!
Was glad that they were so friendly
Had a moment when it’s either truth, lie or nothing, decided to go with truth
Someone found me stupid for answering the question
Had a good lunch and dinner with Marianne and Jia Jun
Had food at home
Rested well until like 9.50 today!
Watched TBBT and HIMYM! πŸ˜› guilty pleasures
Practiced triplets with the click on the metronome! Was good!
Went to buy Ah Ma se Pohpiah!
Was delicious! πŸ™‚
Got to play with my cousins a little
Taught my cousin some science and math!
Going to esplanade now!
Zaki was nice!
Had dinner with Yu Hui
The shift was alright luhh, but less fulfilling than yesterday
Glad to have made some friends in the Lighting department! They now would say hello! πŸ™‚
Got a nice chat on the way home with Yu Hui
Enjoyed the Whatsapp group conversation! πŸ™‚
Rested well
Had breakfast
Did some of untangled again
Ran away from temptation, Lord continue to give me power to flee from it!
Gonna be late… :/
Caught up to 72
On the MRT now!
The jammed “doors are closing” bell is ANNOYING… 😦
Got to church!
Got my triple fi 10! Sounds so clear and good! πŸ˜€
Had great Nasi Lemak!
Trying to edit some more of untangled but need wifi!
Kennaf was VERY nice to come accompany me
But stupid me cannot even give him some of my time. -sigh-
Practiced drums, but it was messy
Had chicken macaroni for dinner, was meh
Worship rehearsal was bad… You was really bad… My triplets need to be able to be on time. Lord, please help me Lord
The triple fi 10 has great isolation, but because my ears are small, the seal isn’t ideal. Probably need to change some tips
Got a lift to Stadium from Winnie’s parents! πŸ™‚
Got home
Felling extremely tired and bad
Got away again
Lord, give me power to run!
Woke up and failed.
Angry at myself, but Lord, I give thanks that you love me not because of what I have done!
Father, please discipline me.
Glad that there are people that texted me
Glad that there is some distraction!
Drum lessons were good
Had Yong Tau Foo Laksa! Great invention cause Laksa’s only weakness is no other ingredients apart from noodles, bean sprouts and cockles, maybe tau Pok also!
Didn’t have my Michael Jackson(soya milk and chin chow)… 😦
Thank you Lord for music to accompany me when I am down! πŸ™‚
Got back home
Lying on my bed listening to music with my new earphones was awesome
The triplefi10’s seal really cannot, need to find alternatives alr!
The SE215s is such a beauty! I really cannot believe how much I actually paid for it! I actually in a way prefer it over the triplefi10!
Went over the grandma’s for dinner
Played with my cousins!
Worked on the video! Was good!
Woke up
Watched an episode of HIMYM
Went to eat lunch
Went all the way to Kovan to get a cub of Michael Jackson, not half as nice as the Tiong one! 😦
Watch like 2 thirds of evans almighty, so sad that I need to stop cause I need to go to work
Gonna be late… 😦
Lord, please help me to reach on time
Caught up to the MRT! πŸ˜€
Reach City Hall at 5:15! Safe! πŸ™‚ thank you God! πŸ™‚
Uncle Tiang and Bear are very nice!
Went to Makan Sutra and had fried rice with egg for like $4 decent price for how big it and considering that it is in the city! πŸ™‚
The first band B was just horrible
The second band, Elephant Kind, was SOOO good!
Managed to talk to Jia Jun, Janzen, Nikki, Marianne and Dillon while at work today
Got off work early!
Got home before 12!
Haha quite happy that people liked/commented on my blog! πŸ˜›
Got up
Good breakfast
Took the train to like Ang Mo Kio with mum
Then the train ride was wonderful! Had very nice time reading “I was just wondering”
Came early and went to lunch with Domi
Was nice talking to him about our cells, he shared a bit with me about his concerns for his cell.
Sound check was good
The set went well only until the last song when I screwed up… :/
We did try the stop start thingy that I thought of! πŸ™‚
Did “How do you do” with like Darrel
And spoke to Renee and Jacinth
They were quite sad because their cell kids runs away from them
Texted them to encourage them
Debrief was good! It need not be solemn or cheerful, it needs to be clear and with stuff pointed out
Received a note from Tiff Chia! πŸ™‚
Got a seat in 156!
Good chat with Sis
Good dinner at home
Watched 2012
Good text conversations with Tiff Tay, Elsa and Claire!
Got up late
Good breakfast
Rushing to Furama!
Got there with like more than half of my cell not there… 😦
Got them to ask questions, Lord, please ignore a fire in them to ask more and seek answers!
Sean came!
Worship was crappy for me, because I had so much to do on my hands. The kit in Furama really cannot make it. The crashes are too soft, my ride cymbal trips, my monitor mix keeps jumping, couldn’t do a lot at all. Couldn’t keep time, couldn’t follow either
Was kinda distracted in service
Good lunch with the team
Was disappointed that my album was not ordered
Got a windfall of $10 because of the refund
Good dinner
Tiff managed to help me find the videos needed about 80% done! πŸ™‚

=210= Words of Melancholy: Disappointment

-sigh- What a disappointment… 😦

Well, I just walked away from HMV and I am just sad… I ordered Dashboard’s Alter the Ending album from them like on 12th Feb, paid a deposit of $10 and they told me it will take 3 weeks and they will text me. So after such a long time, no one called me, so I decided to go down myself to check if they have it.

No they didn’t have it… -.- They told me that I could either get something and get $10 waved or get a refund. I decided to look around for an album I wanted. Disappointed that I couldn’t get the album, all the other albums just looked bad… Like I mean I could get an album; I could have gotten Michael Buble, Mayday, Jason Mraz, etc etc, they are great, but it was not dashboard, it just wasn’t what I wanted. With that, I asked her if I could order something else instead. So I asked for Phillip Phillips Behind the Light, not in the system. I asked for Twin Forks, not in the system. I asked for Dashboard’s Swiss Army Romance, discontinued. I asked for Mayday’s Mayday, discontinued. -sigh- why don’t they have what I wanted… 😦 So after much time wasted, I just got a refund instead. Oh well, at least it is a windfall of $10.

HMV really do not have great service. I mean come on, if you knew that an order wasn’t met, you need to inform the person, not wait until he comes up to you personally… 😦 however, I know that it is not the sales rep’s fault, so I held back my disappointment. I did not, in my anger, yelled at her or scold her or say nasty remarks. I mustered enough self control to speak softly and in a less angry tone. I mean, it is not the sales rep’s fault, if anything, it is the manager that needs to be educated on how to give good service. I do not get it, why are there staff in HMV not helping the casher when there is only one employee there? Then what is the point o having so many systems there? -.- there is no need to vent your anger at someone luhh, sure they do get their way sometimesβ€”I witnessed a man getting a discount, back when I was working in F&B, because he is kicking up a fuss and the boss just do not want the troubleβ€”but it shows bad character.

No need to lash out on someone and making it difficult for them. Oh well, I still did tell the sales rep, “next time can you all please tell me?” However, even that has to be in a good tone; disappointed but not demanding. It is alright to show your disappointment, if the staff is good, it might even help you get what you want, but no need to make things difficult luhh.

Oh well, so much fuss over a CD, but I do think that I grew in self control. Hold back. I think a measure of a man, apart from how he spends his money, is how much patience/self control he has. It is alright to have emotions; to be sad or angry, but it is not alright to be angry over every little single thing! Sometimes, there is no need to be so petty. Let some things slide, you are not perfect as well.


=209= Comfort Songs: Elephant Kind

Today was good! Watched my first show in Esplanade. It was at the outdoor theater and it had three sets featuring two bands. The contrast between the two bands was DRASTIC.

Let me start with the bad one. Well, it is not kind to condemn a band, so I shall refrain from using their name; so let us call them B. B had two sets, the opening and ending sets. When they first came on stage and played the first thing anyone noticed was that they were LOUD; too loud. Could be because of the mix, but it got really annoying and it got to a point one customer of the bar had to come and tell the sound guy to lower their volumes because they were so loud the guy couldn’t have a proper conversation in the bar. Next thing you will see is that B has a huge lack of dynamics. The drummer had two levels; open hihat and crashing ride cymbal. They had no idea how jarring the sound was. If they added some dynamics it would have been ten times better! I felt really tired for the band to be driving that much all the time. The drummer’s crescendo build up was just a blast beat. Next, the vocals was very muffled. At first I thought that it was the drums covering everything, but then when the second set came on and the sound was better, it was still bad. Perhaps they will need some mic/vocal lesson! Then, they had very bad transitions between songs, always the guitarist saying, “The next song is….” I mean come on! Interact with the audience! Crack some jokes! I really do think that many people in this industry needs to be educated on MC-ing. On Tues, there was also a very bad MC. He tried to interact with the audience at the end without interacting with them first in the beginning. That made him fail badly! He said, “from which movie?” No one answered. Then he made it awkward again by asking, “which movie?” No response again. Then finally he gave up, saying, “do I hear frozen?” Making it still awkward. Oh well back to B. However, to give them credit, they had really wonderful instrumentals! Like the guitar riffs were cool and the bass lines and the drums was quite tight! It was just very tiring to hear the same level of hype and energy over and over for like 45 minutes… 😦

Now to the AWESOME one! I am SOOOO glad I was there today! The band was called, “Elephant Kind”! WOW! Such an amazing band! They started the set with a Mac book track. Then they slowly layered in and it caught on with a catchy melody! Then they had wonderful transistions! The lead singer was funny, constantly making jokes and witty remarks! I rather enjoyed that they told us that they were a four piece but one of their members couldn’t make it, so they replaced him with a Mac book! Saying that it(MacBook) was genius, Steve Jobs πŸ‘! Then let me get to their songs! WOW! Something so new, a bit of folkish melody with a bit of electronica with a bit of old school rock guitar riffs, pieced and arranged so well together! They had so much new things going on! The drummer played like awesome sextuplets grooves and accent grooves(something simple but I have never thought of before)! The dynamics was definitely better! The drummer sometimes do hit too hard sometimes, but it was justified by the amazing music being played! Then the lights! Wow! Bear is a GREAT light man! The different patterns and shutter off/on was perfect. Especially one part when the band was going at a instrumental! Beat managed to have the lights come on with perfect timing! Throughout the entire set I was bobbing my head up and down! They played so well together! I felt like their 45 minutes set was too short man. I was so sad that they had to leave and B was back on… 😦 they had me totally entertained and I am extremely stoked! I am still kicking myself for not buying their music EP until it ran out! 😦 to make it worse, it is $5 only… 😦 why was I so stupid? 😦 I am thankful however that I am having my friends buy it for me in their set tmr! Hopefully, I will get mine signed as well! I have great hopes for this band! If they continue at it they will become big for sure!

Amazing! Lord, bless me with more capacity to play drums! Allow me to learn the parts of the albums when I get it! Thank you for inspiring me! πŸ™‚