=217= Words of Joy: Reflections

Well, this week has been nice! I rather enjoyed my week! đŸ™‚ Let me reflect upon a few things.

Being attracted to someone doesn’t mean you need to pursue him/her.
After observing my relationships with people, I realised that I actually have slight attractions here and there. An attraction is evoking interest, it is noticing someone is pretty or finding someone’s personality very easy to talk to or pleasant. Oh man, i just realised how hard it is to explain “attraction”. Anyway, I can say without a doubt, there are attractive girls everywhere. In church, in school, at work, by the roadside, at the bus stop etc etc. Recently, I had a slight attraction to my internship mate, I mean, she is rather pretty and she likes the things that i do like. Compared to my other internship mates, I find it much easier to talk to her. However, that doesn’t mean that i need to bare my heart out. It doesn’t mean that i need to pursue her with all my might just so i can spent some time with her. I treasure this friendship and I will for a long time(I hope at least), but that doesn’t mean it needs to go further than that now. Haha, i think the most i did for her was like buy her a drink, sounds like what i do for my friends right?

I mean, I see people pursue so many relationships and i just ask one question, “How long will this one(relationship) last?” What is the point of jumping into a relationship just to see it fall in a couple of months? Then, comes the heartbreak, recovery then awkwardness when you guys meet up. Now rather than jumping into relationships often, what people should do is this: Go and make friends with whom you are attracted with! When you approach someone as a friend, you approach with no agenda(except maybe wanting to be close to him/her). Hence, instead of having many exes, you will have many close friends. Of course, i do not mean going around making friends so that you can have many girls to like you or have a crush on you. Anyone that does that is an ass. I am saying that humble yourself to settle for a friendship.

This is a pride issue. You are not entitled to reciprocated feelings! You are not entitled to a girlfriend. You are not entitled to have a pretty girl be your wife. You are not entitled to anyone. So be humble and give thanks that you get to have another friend! It is not up to me to decide whether you are sincere or not. Well, only God and you knows your heart and its motives, however, if you are getting into a relationship after only a few months of knowing the guy/girl, I am pretty sure you are not sincere.

I can’t believe I am saying this here now. I mean, i am pretty sure i will not say this a year ago. I think we have grown a little older. We grew a little more mature. It is wonderful to know that i have friends in other classes of AVT now! HAHA! I think i have grown a little bit better in handling my feelings and how to approach someone as friend.

I value authenticity
A recent guilty pleasure online is this very nice youtube channel, “JustKiddingNews”. It is this very nice session where they simply read news online and discuss about it. I do not recommend this to any youth for the language used in almost every episode I watched isn’t very good. They discuss from trivial matters to like really solemn and sad news. I don’t really understand why i like it this much! Perhaps it is because of the Sanguine part of me that really likes to hear from people; really like to hear people’s opinions on certain issues. Well, though the language used can be coarse and filled with bad stuff, underlying it, i really like that they are showing honest opinions on issues. On one particular episode, one guy said something that really made sense. “Its like being against abortion, but not doing anything to support the baby being born or the mother”. I mean, if you asked me if i am against abortion, i will definitely say i am. However, i have never thought about how the mother or the baby will survive. Something needs to be done for such mothers.

I am unsatisfied with my musicianship
Well, Bro Shavinn told me not to be too hard on myself on Sat and encouraged me with compliments. However, deep down, i still think i suck. I can be better than the trainees, but i still suck as a musician. It is not being hard on myself, it is me being musician telling myself that i have more to learn. Every week i walk away from service telling myself that I need to work harder, i need to work with the metronome more, i need to practice more, i need to learn more. I actually have the desire to learn another instrument so that I know how to contribute to chord progressions and stuff like that. I want to grow more as a musician, i am not satisfied with how i am now, I want to be more than a drummer, i want to be a musician. Perhaps this desire is upon every musician’s heart; the heart that knows just how much they do not know and the desire that wants to grow more. I dare say that rock drummers need to work on their jazz drumming and jazz drummers need to work on their rock drumming, because both genre has very different requirements. I want to learn more. Back to the practice kit.

Highlights of the weeks are hearing Jun Kang’s testimony and talking to Jerome and Johann. Lord, please remind me to do more follow up with them.

It was a marvellous week! Thank You Lord!

-Kelvin-

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