=272= Words of Joy: Heart

I honestly honestly honestly think that committing to J333 is one of the most awesome decisions that I have ever made! Ever since I was Sec 3, I have made it a point to come for J333! I have since then seen it grow! From a dark Level 3 hall with one keyboardist/worship leader. With 3/4 Mics placed at different places of the hall, inviting people to simply walk up and say what they had receive from the Lord. To today, with full band almost every week with almost a service like kinda of style!

I would always point to one night after J333 to be the start of my christian walk! J333 has always been my refuge and in a way, my fig tree! J333 has allowed me a smaller congregation, so that I can simply walk towards someone and ask for prayer! It has allowed me to practice my gifts! It has been amazing!

Today had been a crazy day. 😦 first we stayed back after school to plan for our project. Because of my drum lessons, I have to leave early and come back. I was really considering not going for J333… :/ I felt bad that I left Nok Wan and Jia Jun alone to do the rest… 😦 I tried to give as many suggestions as I could and dragged as long as I could. When I entered the hall, God’s presence was so strong! I simply enjoyed it!

Recently, with the projects in which we attempted together with my Poly friends, I noticed that we kind of had a strain on our friendship. It may be just me, but I do not know if I am offending anyone… 😦 I honestly don’t know if I am being a bad person when I am trying to give suggestions. I am not dissing on anyone’s ideas, I am trying to help. I do not know if me helping is offending anyone. I do not now if giving my opinion would hurt my friends. To be frank, if it does, I rather not give any suggestions anymore. I rather be a friend than to be an ass. If my way is going to hurt someone, then I rather let my friends have their way. I love my friends and I REALLY do not want to lose them.

Today, I went up to Bro Ken to ask for prayer. I shared with him my struggles in school and I concluded my prayer request to be “more time and rest”. Kennaf, being who he is, asked the question, “Is that really what you need?”

I stopped myself to think. Yeah. While I do need more rest and time, that is not what I need. I need the wisdom to do the right thing. I need the wisdom to know what to do when the situation is tough; to know what to do when there is something I need to do.

Kennaf prayed a very long prayer over me! 🙂 He prayed over the whirlwind and chaos in my heart. I felt it. When I walked away, my heart was more at peace but I felt as though I had a melody to sing. So I went out and sang. “My heart is a mess, how can I with hold the test? My heart is a mess, how can I let you do the rest?” I found myself being able to come out with melodies that was never able to! Perhaps someone with a pitch instrument background can help me write and arrange the songs in my head? Haha I am finding myself writing melodies in my head! Recording my ideas on my phone. Hopefully I will be able to compose some of the songs I thought of!

I am sincerely thinking of saving up to buy the Logic Pro X program! Though I can torrent it online, but I think nah. How can I worship God with a tool that I stole? If I am gonna do anything, let me do it right!

Recently, I thought of a new system to come out with drum beats! Calling it the binary system! Looks like grade 4 has indeed benefitted me! I got 88 and a 1/2 by the way! Not a bad mark, but lost too many marks due to inaccuracy and my stupidity… :/

Then supper was good! 🙂 left early so that I will have more time to do work! Okok! Let’s go! Lord, please how me peace and give me strength!

Thank you Lord! 🙂

-Amen-

-Kelvin-

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