=273= Words of Melancholy: Thoughts

I really do need to change the tag line on my blog. “Words was how God spoke to us, now i shall do the same” just seemed so narcissistic. Well, I created this blog for the very reason to write down what God has spoken to me and like kinda be like a ‘prophet’. Now after so many years, the direction of the blog has changed so much. I used to focus on like concepts and arguments that intrigued me. Now, i focus on my life and how i struggle to be a better person. After all, there is absolutely NO POINT in meditating on concepts but not applying it at all. Now instead of trying to make things more complicated just to impress people, i am trying to make things easier to explain stuff to people. It is fun to see that God has made my ego a lot smaller and humbled me. Haha, any ideas can tell me! ๐Ÿ™‚

This year, my focus on ministry became very different from what i expected. I thought that this year, i would focus more on my cell, but instead, perhaps because of the grade exam and my modules being the modules now, i focused a lot of my attention on my craft as a musician. Right now, i have a very very strong drive that just wants to get better and be better. I am getting more exposure and having more ideas with the binary drumming system that i thought about. Music has become a very important focus in my life now. I really want to learn more and get better. Lord, let me continue to grow as a musician and a worship leader. However, do not let me neglect my cell.

Perhaps I really did stray from the Cell leader i wanted to be. Honestly, it is really getting harder to be a CL when i am this busy. Like school work is mostly projects now and require a lot of my attention and time, it really is very taxing on my body and brain to do both CAMY and CLing. When i told Pei En the other day, she told me that i had to choose between the two. The Lord has impressed this upon my heart too. If you asked me if i would choose CAMY or CLing now right, I honestly would choose CAMY. Not because of anything, but right now, i doubt i would make a good RL and now my heart has a drive that wants to be a better drummer and worshipper. I sure would want to try though. Bro Shav told me that i need to know where i am called, that way, even if i try something else, when i return to it, i will have enough from the Lord to keep me going. Well, i really want to give RLing a try… :/ Maybe i take a break from serving first? Haha, well, if the Lord really wants me back, i will come back.

I spent some time to listen to a few people’s Soundcloud today and it was just really good! Choo’s original songs are like songs that i would put on repeat and listen to! ๐Ÿ™‚ If he has an EP out, i would love to own one! Sam’s are very soulful and are very expressive! Very nice too! So nice that there is SOOO much talent in GAOG.

Morals over System. Right over Law. When there is a law, it is there for a reason. If that reason wasn’t met, the law is useless. If without the law, the reason is met, then it is better not to have the law then to have it. The law is meant to serve the community, not for it to rule over us! We must always and i mean always check ourselves and with the Holy Sprit’s nudging what is right and wrong. For example, on the MRT, the “Do not eat and drink” law is to keep the train clean. Let’s just say one day a man faints in the MRT due to dehydration. Will any sane man not give him water? Think about it, if i don’t give him water and wait until the next stop, he could DIE. If hat is Right is going against the Law, then just disregard the Law. What is the point of keeping the Law but not doing right? Think for yourselves. If you can leave the train without giving him water and still think that you are right, you better check yourself.

Today was a battle of it as well. Royce was not feeling well. So i decided to go out with him missing worship and most of the sermon. Knowing that it was Bro Ken preaching today, i really wanted to listen to him, but that is fine; doing what was right was more important. I could argue that i needed to take care of my cell, but i could not stay there and have the conscience to say that that was right. Hence, I went out. Interestingly, I bumped into J waiting outside because he was tired. Then, Charissa. While, what i did wasn’t ministering as one would say, but it definitely was nice to talk to them in this kinda situation. I actually understand J, for i never did know what was i doing in church until I was Sec 3. Playing church was simply that easy. I did not want to probe much about church because sec 2s are normally at the rebellious age when they would do the exact opposite of what people say. I simply want him to stay and experience God himself. I can’t do much. All i can do is be a friend. Perhaps it was the wrong decision to make? Well, I am uncertain. However, the last thing i want is for me to be pushy and he decides to stop coming. Lord ah, will you pleas bring the Sec 2s closer to you and please bring them closer to us as well? It hurts me to see them like this. Lord, give me the capacity to give them more.

Father, I pray for a smooth shoot tmr! And i pray that i will be able to go for dinner with JED! council 2014 on Tues! Haha, well, it is only one scene!

Well, My Lord is an awesome God he reigns from heaven above with wisdom, power and love, our God is an awesome God!




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