=295= Words of Joy: Thankful

Oh I found out that some more of my classmates reads my blog! :O J & N I am watching you! O_O HAHAHA! It’s ok luhh, thanks for reading!

I really think that my GPA will drop Sia… 😦 This Sem has been insane! Even without a CCA like my classmates, I was struggling like mad. Well, the VP project was the toughest, it was incredibly difficult to do everything from the planning to the filming. Like the easiest thing was the editing, so thankful for good shots! Then, the MP project spent a lot of time also… 😦 well, just blame it on me updating my laptop… But yeah, I think I did a pretty good job trying to mix with my earphones and added effects. Then Mindez improved it! The MUTS was a hassle because I had no Logic Pro X on my laptop… 😦 so whatever I want to do, I needed to be in school on a lab station. Well, it was more difficult to do the projects, but I think it was worth it! Well, both songs turned out quite nice! As a result of the project something happened, well, I dunno if I can reveal the details, but yeah working with some people on something now! 

On top of that, I had ministry. Well, I guess ministry is my CCA bah! I play drums on alternate weekends then, I am a cell leader every week. The difficult part isn’t the going to play or going to teach, the tough part was the preparation. I do not want to smoke anyone. I don’t want to not prepare and go up stage and act like I prepared, that is just lazy. I don’t want to not prepare a lesson and yet still teach lesson like I did. First of all, the kids aren’t stupid! They can tell if you prepared or not! Second, why are you short changing your kids of what they can learn? That is both lazy and selfish!

Then, family. I try my best to give as much time I can to my grandma and my immediate family. Giving them priority over many things. Well, I mean they took care of me for like 19 years of their lives! The least I could do is to just spend some time with them! It is a difficult thing to find balance in, but I will still try my best! 

I am so glad that the papers are over! Well, I only have like 4 days of rest before I start my work! So yeah! Looking forward to be able to work and learn more about media stuff! To be able to go to the new church to learn more about the systems there! So glad I actually plucked up enough courage to ask about the internship! πŸ™‚

Well, balance in work and family, quite a tough thing to do, I am trying, but it isn’t easy… Well, hopefully, even while maintaining balance, I will be able to contribute and learn more!

I am really off form in my time-keeping in drums… 😦 need more practice with the metronome!

Going to watch a musical at Esplanade today! Then, most probably watching Steve Gadd when he comes! Excited man! 

Now, I am just thankful! πŸ™‚

-Kelvin-

=294= Words of Joy: Guitar

Haha, well, I had an idea popped into my head several weeks ago. To simply go and get the old guitar, that my parents used to play, restrung, get a new guitar bag and buy a tuner! Instead of buying an expensive guitar and not knowing how to play it, why not try playing this cheaper guitar first?

Last Friday, I eventually did! I took the guitar out from the fake leather bag. The bag was in a horrible condition, all the metal parts were rusted, the fake black leather was peeling and was becoming white and the main zip cannot be zipped. I tried to clean it, but the most dirty areas are near the strings. Hence, I took out all the rusted strings. Took really long though! I then took out some nuts and screws to release the knobs of the guitar, so I can clean it better. I then put it back into the bag, used tape to ensure that the guitar would not pop out and left for Bras Bersah.

When asked if I wanted the alright strings or the better strings, I chose the better one. I mean like it is like drum heads right? The bad quality ones suck, the good ones rock right? So yeah, got these D’addaro Pro strings. Don’t really know how different are they though! Then, for the guitar bag and tuner, I chose the cheaper ones. I mean, all I need is a good bag to carry the guitar around and the tuner that I have been using have been pretty good! πŸ™‚ It all round up to a price of $54… :/ well, an investment to me learning a new instrument!

Well, now all I need is a Paige capo and a pick and I think I will look quite cool! Haha!

Well, learning a new instrument on my own is NOT easy… D: well, people have done it and they sound awesome, so I think I will be able to do it! Slowly, one step at a time! Well, for one, finding the right video online to learn is a tough one, some show you how to play a chord, but don’t really teach you how to play a song. If there isn’t any application, what is the point right?

So yeah, I found one guy that is really pretty good at teaching online, so I have been trying out!

Well, I know now that whenever you move down one fret that string goes down by half a step. So C goes to C sharp, then to D, E flat, E, F, F sharp, G, G sharp, A, B flat, B, then, back to C again! I tried every string with the tuner and wrote down every note that it will make! Haha, I know I am totally oversimplifying things trying to break down playing guitar like a keyboard. Doesn’t work at all! 

Well, today, I figured out how to play E Major, E Minor, A Major, D Major and a super cool Asus2 chord! Haha, it is lamer than it sounds! Well, now I have been trying to change properly from E Major to A Major. The problem now is when I try to do a C Major chord, my finger touches the string below it, making the rattling sound, well, need to get used to it. Need more practice but my fingers hurt already.

But nevertheless, it has been super fun to mess around with the strumming pattern even with just two chords! I mean like, hey chords isn’t my strong point, rhythm is! So why not play around with that? I tried the basic slow worship song strumming pattern. It is probably wrong through! HAHA! I also tried to make it sound a bit shuffle! Oh and is E Major, A Major, E Major, A Major, One Four One Four?

I wanna learn more about chords and music! Argh!!!!!!!

Haha, I dunno! Trying luhh! Maybe I would pick up formal lessons if I really cannot. Let’s hope I will be able to play at least a worship song by the end of the year!

Thank God for the rather manageable paper just now! πŸ™‚

Thank you God for the interesting instrument! πŸ™‚

-Kelvin-

=293= Thanksgiving of the Week

I have had trouble being consistent with this thingy! Like now, since I don’t use my phone as much, I seldom remember to record down my thanksgiving. The past week, I forgot to even start it… 😦

So yeah, this week, just one thanksgiving everyday.

Monday
Good and GREAT rest!

Tuesday
Good rest again and went to exercise!

Wednesday
Went for lesson with JiaXing, really quite interesting! Got myself a new phone case and screen leotector! πŸ™‚ Went down to VT class. Had dinner. Heard about my exclassmate. Was super affected… 😦 Went into J333 really depressed. Had a good time of worship! πŸ™‚ enjoyed company with the supper people!

Thursday
Went for VT Q&A! had lunch with Jia Jun. Ran through the whole syllabus with him. Texted my boys! πŸ™‚ Really gotta love G! πŸ™‚

Friday
Got the old guitar of my parents put and cleaned it. Got it Restrung, got q new bag and a tuner! Well, spent a lot, but for further investment.

Saturday
Stayed at home. Went to had Zichar at the new hawker center. Good food! However, REALLY expensive… 😦

Sunday
Cell breakfast was a success! Well, I was always very scared of my Sec 2s not coming, thank God, that did not happen! So many people came! Like YAY! Awesome! G came! πŸ™‚ then Royce friend, Shi Wen, came. Jacob’s friend, Brendon Came! Jumped together with a lot of guys at the front! πŸ˜€ spent the whole service time for J and D. Well, they asked a lot of questions about God. Lord, please give me the wisdom to answer them properly! Father, please bring them back! Thank you Lord! πŸ™‚

-Kelv-

=292= Melancholic Reflections: Swing

Well, I wanted to write this yesterday, but I was a bit depressed and emotional to do anything last night. Today, I feel rather happy!

Yesterday, during my VT consultation class, the old class group exploded with messages. Without reading too closely, I switched off my wifi. It was only until after the lesson at about 5.30/5.45 that it was pointed out to me that something serious happened. One of my ex-classmates, posted a suicide photo on istagram. Saying that today was the last day of his life. I read and I was like “wait what?” I read on and saw my ex-classmates freaking out over the photo he posted 50 minutes ago. They texted him. They started to call anyone that is close to him. The girlfriend. The close friends in school. The parents. They even considered calling the police. It was not a joke to us; our good friend was contemplating suicide.

By the time I found out about it, the issue was more or less resolved already. However, I just felt so bad… 😦 I mean, I actually saw the messages, but I disregarded it without a second thought. When did I even start taking them for granted? 😦

Turns out, he was contemplating suicide because of a breakup with his girlfriend. I texted my close friend to ask him how was heβ€”for he said that he went down to his house in the chat. He told me that he was alright. He scolded him through the door for even thinking of killing himself over this kind of issue. This suicidal friend really has a good bro in my good friend.

He really do need to pull himself together. Exams are coming REALLY  soon… Like in a few days time 😦 How will he focus? -sigh- My friend was really annoyed at the girlfriend for being insensitive; to break up at this kind of timing. Now he is going to be so depressed that he has no motivation whatsoever to do anything. God, please help him get over it Lord.

My good friend then thanked me for caring. Saying that I was one of the few that actually cared. Well, I don’t think that is true, I mean come on, I am pretty sure everyone will be anxious and worried if they saw it, by even so, so what if I cared? What if he really died? What is the use of caring for him only after he died? This burdened me the whole evening. I decided to go into J333 early just so that I can be quiet and talk to God.

I told God about how bad I feel. I told God about how little compassion I had. About how insensitive I was. I was really depressed. I asked for more compassion. I asked for God to break my heart.

Well, the night went on and I was thankful for J333 once again! πŸ™‚ I made quite a good friend in Augustine! To being Bros! Hehe!

Then today, went to Mr Loh’s class. Let me talk about Mr Loh. No other teacher have I ever met with his same fervour for teaching. He teaches with so much passion. He is so patient with everyone. He puts in SOOO much effort. He is VERY understanding! He blames his own teaching if we forget stuff or don’t understand. He doesn’t let issues affect his teaching; giving his absolute best to offer to us. Recently, his Mother fell ill, while taking leave to go back to see his mother, he still offers help via WhatsApp! He constantly searches for new information to help us understand his concepts. He can just ignore us like a lot of our teachers, but he doesn’t. He felt guilty for not being able to help as much because of his mother’s illness. I am really blown away by his amazing dedication to teaching! Mr Loh has got to be my favourite teacher so far, by miles from other teacher! Just incredible and God sent! πŸ™‚

Then, I kinda went through the whole VT with Jia Jun just now. I am thinking of something. Then came back and try some swing/jazz stuff by Michael Buble on the drums. Oh let me slap myself, Swing/Jazz is by FARRRR the toughest songs I have ever played on drums. For you know, fast songs like Hands Down or heavy metal stuff are diffcult, but I at least can comprehend what was being played! I can at least know how to approach the song. However, for Swing/Jazz, I have NOOO clue whatsoever on how to approach the song. You cannot approach it the same way you approach rock; you cannot fill whenever you feel like it! You cannot, stick to one groove for the whole stanza; the pattern changes and I cannot keep up… There are always punches that are important. It is SOOO tough! Why is it so far away from me? 😦 I shall go on a Swing/Jazz journey now!

Recently, I started texting a boy that I have found favour with! πŸ™‚ It really is such a blessing to talk to him! Lord, please bless my idea about bonding the sec 2s!

Thank you Lord!

-Amen-

-Kelvin-

=291= Thanksgiving of the Week

Thanksgiving 16/8/2015:
Woke up at like 11am… :O
Had the omelette for breakfast
Watch TBBT
Read a bit of the manga
Went off for movie!
The bread we bought was awesome!
1965 was really quite good! πŸ™‚
Got home
Mum cooked sambal sotong! Nice!
118 was nice! Poor Zhi Gao, too nice a person!
Did finish up my arranging!
Submitted
Watched the 10 o’clock show!
Went to sleep!
Woke up
Had breakfast with mum and sis
Went of with sis
Got on to 116!
Caught up to MRT!
Went for the presentation
The presentation was SOOO lame… 😦
Went for lunch
Went back to the MMT lab to do mixing for MP
Managed to do it quite well!
Tried to help Em’s group, but it was really tough… D:
Went off
Practiced a bit
Went for dinner at grandma’s
Rested
Went for MP presentation
It was SOOO boring… -sigh-
Plan changed
Went to meet EnMing
Told him about what was upon my mind
Rehearsals was nice! πŸ™‚
Got home rather late
Went for VT consultation
This is very bad, I am already in holiday mood… 😦
Went to Sim Lim to buy thumb drive
Got the thumb drive that I wanted at like $27! Challenger sells it at like $50! πŸ˜€ SUPER happy!
The thumb drive is insanely fast!
I signed up for the warranty! OH GOSH! It is lifetime warranty! :DDD
Went to grandma’s for dinner! Nice! πŸ™‚
Enjoyed rest
Woke up at like 9.30-10!
Watched so many shows
Got up my butt to text Bro Brian to help me with the internship idea!
Texted Bro Chris
He told me he needs to inform management!
Lord, please open this door! Allow me to learn stuff during my holidays while earning money without neglecting ministry! Please bless me Father!
Prepared the lesson!
Was tough though!
Got macs for lunch
Went off
Got dinner
Cell was nice
Elsa came!
Daniel told me something that just blew me away!
Lord, you are definitely in control! πŸ™‚
Got a nice chat with Jun Kang!
Got home
Had noodles cooked by my mum!
Was really good! πŸ™‚
Chatted with Gideon! πŸ™‚
Slept
Woke up
Went to church
There was people using the chapel, so I didn’t practice beforehand
I tried to fix the snare wires instead!
Managed to after using the chair as a clamp then pull!
Soundcheck went alright I guess
Prayer was funny! This guy named Jonathan was laughing at me!
Set went well! πŸ™‚
Sermon was good!
We sang “Make my life a prayer”
Such a beautiful song!
Well, had some conversations with someone
Went off!
Got home
Rurouni Kenshin is NICE! πŸ™‚
Dinner was good!
Secrets for Sale was on TV! πŸ˜€
Watched so many shows again!
Pray that tmr lesson will be good!
Lesson kinda went well
They all a bit disengaged though… 😦
Made me think though
Worship was good!
But the background music is HAHAHA!
Gideon Came! YAY! πŸ™‚
Went for lunch with the group!
They went to the ban Mian/ramen place! πŸ™‚
Missed it!
Had quite a good talk with Jerome and Jonathan
Went home
Rested
Good dinner
Studied

=290= Melancholic Reflections: Today

Today something happened that got me thinking.

Well, i was teaching, when one of my boys wasn’t participating. I kept asking him to put his phone away, but he refuses to. Then one of my older boys told him off. He scolded him for his bad behaviour and attitude. After that, he still refuses to put his phone away. Well, despite of that i still told him to do it nicely. Then another of my guys told me, “Kelvin, you need to stop being so nice”. Even after that, i still did not be stern and angry at him. I refuse to put down my boys’ names just to protect them.

Well, got me thinking about the leader i want to be. I could never understand how people like Kenneth and Tat Wai could change between the nice big brother to the stern leader. It is not easy man. Well, it is probably also because of that boy’s personality. Honestly, it is so difficult to get through with him. I tried, but i don’t think that by disciplining him would work now. The thing that worked the most right now was playing with him.

Am I being a pushover in cell? That i need my cell kids to stand up for me? That even after that, am i still a pushover? My thought process was that there are already two people reprimanding him, if i add on, it will make matter worse and he won’t ever come back. Do i need to be harder on them?

I am aware of that age being the rebellious age. When they don’t listen to anyone and begin to do what they are told not to. I am afraid that me being stern will result in them leaving church. I am scared Lord. My thought process is again, they will get scolded in school and at home, why in the world will they want to come to church to get scolded as well? Of course, that might just be my wishful thinking to just keep them in church long enough until one day God touches their heart. That might be a bad decision to make as well, i mean my primary role is to teach the word of God and set an example for them, not to keep them in church; it is still their choice whether to come or not. That might be wrong of me.

Later on, after cell, i asked the boy’s brother where is he, he told me that he should not be going anywhere. So after worship, i went down to the third level i saw two of my boys there, including that boy. I sat down with them. the older one looked tired. I never seen him look so bad and i just felt bad for him, well i understand, so i did not bug him to go up to service. The phone one just didn’t want to go for service, i think after so many tries, i tried another approach. I did not bug them to go for service at all. I just went ahead for service. Well, later on, EnMing found out about where they are and probably got them up.

Am i really being a pushover? Am I being too nice? I know that i can be angry at them, but would it help? Even if it does get them to service, will it help their spiritual walk at all? I mean, what is the point of going to service with a bad attitude, without listening.

Lord ah, i have very little capacity for all this chasing. it isn’t just one boy, there are so many of my guys running away and chasing them all is just impossible.

I am out of ideas, I am out of solutions, Lord, there is nothing more i can come out with. Father, i can only rely on you.

Father, how? How do i approach this issue? Please help.

I know that Jesus gets angry and probably has more emotions than anyone on earth, but all his anger and his emotions are angry for the right things. Lord, will you please give me that discernment and wisdom to be angry at the correct things?

I also got the news that another one of my boys quit church. -sigh- Lord ah, it is really depressing. Will you please intervene?

Well, be thankful Kelvin. Be grateful! Be thankful that you have guys that loves you so much that they are willing to stand up for you. Be thankful that though this boy is getting away, another boy came back! Funny story!

So what happened was that i restarted the everyone text each other thing again. What this does is that it helps me stay connected with all my guys every week and it helps my guys to stay bonded. So what happened was that I involved this boy that hasn’t been turning up in it too! So he texted, but he texted the wrong guy! He texted one of the leaders in DJ! This resulted in my boy talking to him and that was probably the best thing that could have happened! That leader managed to talk him through and my boy said that he will come today! Amazing! God works even when i am not in control!

I tried texting him and our conversations had been so smooth! πŸ™‚ Then, i was playing around with him during service! Hopefully he will stay for good! πŸ™‚

Lord ah, will you please prosper this cell especially the sec 2s!

Father, give me the wisdom to lead them.

Well, recently, I like to take on the role of the observer in a conversation instead of the one doing the talking. This was because I want to be a good steward of my spiritual gifts and honestly you don’t need to be always talking to be a good man or a friend. You don’t need to always talk to be close to someone. You don’t need to talk to everyone. You don’t need to always talk to make someone feel comfortable.

Interesting enough, i noticed someone that was over talking today and it was irritating some people. It was very weird. Like we were both telling lame jokes, but mine seem to work better than his; like people are responding to my jokes but not responding to his. Is it because I did not say the joke to the whole crowd, but was telling it to someone specific or to like two people? Perhaps when you give someone attention, the attention will be reciprocated. Equivalent Exchange for 1 to 1. However, that doesn’t work when you are trying for 1 to 10 people when they are not listening, hence they don’t reciprocating.

Haha, i overheard someone saying that i was a cool dude! πŸ™‚ Flattered, Bro! πŸ™‚

Need to learn how to find the balance between getting attention from the whole group and having a conversation with just one person.

Need to learn the proper way to handle my kids.

Need to learn not to overdo something when it works.

Need to learn how to have meaningful conversations and building strong relationships

Need to learn how to be a proper friend without crossing boundaries and lines.

Need to learn how to be closer to someone introverted that doesn’t click with me.

Need to learn how to further develop relationships with people that i do have chemistry with.

Need to learn how to grab an opportunity to minister/ for divine appointments. To not let it slip away.

Need to set a good example.

Need to stop complaining and be grateful

Need to learn how to be simple.

Need to learn how to listen to God.

Father, do teach me all these Lord!

Thank you!

-Amen-

-Kelvin-