=292= Melancholic Reflections: Swing

Well, I wanted to write this yesterday, but I was a bit depressed and emotional to do anything last night. Today, I feel rather happy!

Yesterday, during my VT consultation class, the old class group exploded with messages. Without reading too closely, I switched off my wifi. It was only until after the lesson at about 5.30/5.45 that it was pointed out to me that something serious happened. One of my ex-classmates, posted a suicide photo on istagram. Saying that today was the last day of his life. I read and I was like “wait what?” I read on and saw my ex-classmates freaking out over the photo he posted 50 minutes ago. They texted him. They started to call anyone that is close to him. The girlfriend. The close friends in school. The parents. They even considered calling the police. It was not a joke to us; our good friend was contemplating suicide.

By the time I found out about it, the issue was more or less resolved already. However, I just felt so bad… 😦 I mean, I actually saw the messages, but I disregarded it without a second thought. When did I even start taking them for granted? 😦

Turns out, he was contemplating suicide because of a breakup with his girlfriend. I texted my close friend to ask him how was heβ€”for he said that he went down to his house in the chat. He told me that he was alright. He scolded him through the door for even thinking of killing himself over this kind of issue. This suicidal friend really has a good bro in my good friend.

He really do need to pull himself together. Exams are coming REALLY  soon… Like in a few days time 😦 How will he focus? -sigh- My friend was really annoyed at the girlfriend for being insensitive; to break up at this kind of timing. Now he is going to be so depressed that he has no motivation whatsoever to do anything. God, please help him get over it Lord.

My good friend then thanked me for caring. Saying that I was one of the few that actually cared. Well, I don’t think that is true, I mean come on, I am pretty sure everyone will be anxious and worried if they saw it, by even so, so what if I cared? What if he really died? What is the use of caring for him only after he died? This burdened me the whole evening. I decided to go into J333 early just so that I can be quiet and talk to God.

I told God about how bad I feel. I told God about how little compassion I had. About how insensitive I was. I was really depressed. I asked for more compassion. I asked for God to break my heart.

Well, the night went on and I was thankful for J333 once again! πŸ™‚ I made quite a good friend in Augustine! To being Bros! Hehe!

Then today, went to Mr Loh’s class. Let me talk about Mr Loh. No other teacher have I ever met with his same fervour for teaching. He teaches with so much passion. He is so patient with everyone. He puts in SOOO much effort. He is VERY understanding! He blames his own teaching if we forget stuff or don’t understand. He doesn’t let issues affect his teaching; giving his absolute best to offer to us. Recently, his Mother fell ill, while taking leave to go back to see his mother, he still offers help via WhatsApp! He constantly searches for new information to help us understand his concepts. He can just ignore us like a lot of our teachers, but he doesn’t. He felt guilty for not being able to help as much because of his mother’s illness. I am really blown away by his amazing dedication to teaching! Mr Loh has got to be my favourite teacher so far, by miles from other teacher! Just incredible and God sent! πŸ™‚

Then, I kinda went through the whole VT with Jia Jun just now. I am thinking of something. Then came back and try some swing/jazz stuff by Michael Buble on the drums. Oh let me slap myself, Swing/Jazz is by FARRRR the toughest songs I have ever played on drums. For you know, fast songs like Hands Down or heavy metal stuff are diffcult, but I at least can comprehend what was being played! I can at least know how to approach the song. However, for Swing/Jazz, I have NOOO clue whatsoever on how to approach the song. You cannot approach it the same way you approach rock; you cannot fill whenever you feel like it! You cannot, stick to one groove for the whole stanza; the pattern changes and I cannot keep up… There are always punches that are important. It is SOOO tough! Why is it so far away from me? 😦 I shall go on a Swing/Jazz journey now!

Recently, I started texting a boy that I have found favour with! πŸ™‚ It really is such a blessing to talk to him! Lord, please bless my idea about bonding the sec 2s!

Thank you Lord!

-Amen-

-Kelvin-

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