Whatever that I wanted to said about LC 2014 had been said before on this space already. Hence, I just wanna say that I am glad and so thankful to have such a group of friends here.
Well, QiYi asked if I was bored and honestly I wasn’t, I guess just having the company was enough for me. We might not have done much, but I am just thankful that we came and spent some time together just being in each other’s presence.
I guess gatherings like this just kinda got a bit awkward. Cause technically it isn’t a cell anymore, so while we know that the triple Es were our cell leaders, when we meet up, it is solely based on the fact that we were good friends and want to meet up and just spend some time together. No longer because we are coming together to meet and listen to the triple Es speak and have us share.
That isn’t a bad thing honestly! I kinda enjoy that we still put in effort to put time out to meet. However, it kinda gets a bit aimless, hence, it just got a bit awkward. Just a little bit. Perhaps we should really plan something more productive! Maybe sharing something more objectively rather than speaking among ourselves. Maybe just maybe!
I really regret not sharing my heart out during one of the meetings we had! Kinda want to invest in this group of people more! Oh well, thank God for this family! 🙂
Well, it is good to not be on alert. To just stay put and not be on a superior/higher/more experienced/senior/older/wiser blah blah blah role. Just enjoyed listening to people rather than speaking all the time.
I asked all my mentors, leaders and close friends to pray for me over one issue in my life and that is to be able to trust and be vulnerable with people. I kinda find it hard to do that after events that happened over the past three years. I personally don’t really what a lot of friends. I just want to have a few close friends. However, I had a bad track record. The friends that I invested deeply into just slowly faded away out of my life. It really hurt when that happened. Caused me to close up to many people. I mean sure, we may not be as close as a particular season, but don’t shut me out of your life completely can? Hey, it may not mean a lot to you, but I really put in a lot of myself to maintain a friendship. Just because we stopped talking for a few months, we just become strangers? How does that even happen? Come on! I don’t really want to be hurt anymore. I kinda had enough. I don’t want to invest so much and get so little in return.
Tiff was very good at drawing out my heart’s emotion. I tend to hide it behind several other things that are problems too, but not the main problem. She then told me that when there is a perspective shift that life will be much more enjoyable and happy. The change being to realise that this life doesn’t belong to me. If this life belongs to God, then I really don’t have much to worry about don’t I? Failed friendships, failed relationships, failed ministries are not what defines me. God is the one that defines me. God holds my life and I live for him and not me. When that change happens, my achievements don’t matter anymore, it is whether I am doing what God is telling me to do that matters.
I observed and started to really admire PJ as well. I actually had heard quite a few bad comments about PJ’s style and work flow etc. However, when I look at him up close and see him try his best to do what God is telling him to, I cannot say that what he does isn’t right. He really cares and prays fervently for the youth ministry. Whatever changes he dreams of is for the good of the young people. He is trying his best to do what God tells him. Have you seen his spirit? His spirit was amazing. Look at him up close. Look at how he worships and prays. Look at the posture that he puts himself in. Hear the words he speaks. Hear the amount of faith he has in his words. That is a man of God.
Just like how life will continue to unfold as long as you pay attention to it. God’s words will continue to unfold and be revealed when you pay attention to it. The people that prayed for you. Start to take note of what they say. Old or young. Simple or complicated. General or specific. Start listening. The people that are placed above you and under you. Start to admire qualities that they have and exercise that. Start to admire young people and what you can learn from them. The people around you, start to invest and form strong bonds and friendships.
Haha, something made me happy today too! 🙂 so yeah!
Now, just let me rest and sleep so that I can wake up for tmr’s 8am lesson!