=342= Worship on/off Stage: Voice


For Those Who Can’t Speak by Tenth Avenue North
I see the glory of the Lord every time the sun rises
I hear the unheard screams of a broken heart
Because every day a son dies
27 million slaves but no plantation
27 million slaves, all different races

This is not the picture the Lord painted in Genesis
Silence is our enemy, our voices can end it

I have dreamed of a kingdom coming where
Evil drowns in mercy streams
I want to see those rivers of justice
So I use my voice for those who can’t speak
I will use my voice for those who can’t speak

Yeah, yeah, when it’s all said and done
Yeah, I pray that everything we said is done
I don’t want my son to say I was one of the ones
That watched 27 million suffer and never say
No, no, I won’t be that
I don’t deserve a mic if I ain’t got no feedback
Bring back every girl from the west to the east that
He crafted for His glory, not for making you green backs

I dream that
Every ounce of brokenness and disease that
Bring that to the cross, believe that He redeems that
Sees that type of world that my daughters can breathe in
Where the beautiful feet that go where the needs at

Come on, come on
Oh, none of here are just a number
We all have a name like any other
There’s breath inside your lungs
And you are my brother
My God, when will we stand
Stand together

I want to be the kingdom coming where
Evil drowns in mercy streams
Oh, let me see those rivers of justice
So I use my voice for those who can’t speak
I will use my voice for those who can’t speak
I use my voice for those who can’t speak

~

Today God worked in me in such a different way. In case you don’t know, there is a gap between my lower jaw and upper jaw. This causes a lot of inconvenience. First, it makes my speech unclear which may result in some stuttering. I can’t speak like I want to. It really is quite annoying when I want to speak properly but I cannot. Like I know how to pronounce the word properly, but it is because of this jaw problem that causes me to roll certain enouces of words off, hence causing me to be unclear with my words.

It is bad enough to have a Mel brain that cannot tank thoughts, now I have trouble speaking too… -sigh- learning how to be less nervous and speak slower so that I can pronounce words properly. It is strange though. Getting used to it now.

Same for music, I can hear when something is off tune like 75 percent of the time, but I cannot sing. When I sing, I can hear myself going off tune and I just cringe. It is quite frustrating when you can’t get what you want out; can’t hit that note that I want to.

So frustrating when you want to do something but you cannot.

Today during the Emerge contact time, we had an extended time of worship. My singing was just so horrible. One, i don’t know the lyrics. Two, I cannot pronounce some words quickly enough. Three, cannot sing in tune. Like come on. I want to sing properly! Argh!

A few times I had a song in mind to sing, but I just don’t dare to sing out. Really scared man. So I just flowed with it.

Then, I saw Elvin go up to tell Alvin about the song he had in mind(at least that is what I think). Then Sis ZF asked me if I knew how to sing “I could sing of your love forever”. I said no, I cannot sing.

However, I sang anyway. I sang with my eyes closed. I think the key was in an awkward key for the song, I couldn’t sing some notes at all. I could hear ZF singing together with me, so that encouraged me a little. Hearing everyone singing together was encouraging. But I just cannot man.

I know where I want to go(direction wise) for the song. But I just can’t put it out of my system to lead people into worship. I want to, but I can’t and that is so frustrating.

Nevertheless, it happened. ZF did encouraged me after that, but I just cannot. I need to learn how to sing.

ZF jokingly said that she will make me her mouth piece.

Well, that led to this song! You know, “use my voice for those who can’t speak”

A bit out of context, but yeah I just thought it was a nice song with what happened today too!

Cell lesson was great! Like I just tried my game with them and it worked. They were engaged and managed to listen to my debrief points. That is why I love teaching in games, it is simple to catch because they get a chance to play and enjoy and at the same time learn the meaning behind the game. People are more attentive to what they had experienced.

I seen how more and more often in my life that God has been using my training in school for ministry. Recently, there is a lack of sound engineers in CAMY. I think all the trained SEs all went to YA service, leaving a lack in youth. As a result, more and more often people asks me to do sound check when there isn’t anyone else to do it. I am not complaining—I am glad to help—it is just interesting to see how more and more often that people now associate me as an SE. Some people actually thought that I learned sound engineering before drums! HAHA!

For those people who don’t know, disclaimer, I am not an official SE at all! HAHA!

I started playing drums during my holidays in Sec 2, I only started learning sound in the past 3 years. Like sure, I do get some training from my school, but I only got the flow and stuff recently. I think I only kinda got it when I was interning in church for the media team. I am still learning man.

I am now trying to learn how to do the DCA group thing that Leb does, I just got how to stop the buttons from blinking. I need to learn how to EQ an instrument properly. I am thinking very linearly now. Like I think in terms of frequencies. Like who cover what. If I only have a guitar keys and cajon. I will kinda boost the high mids for the guitar and boost the low mids for the keys, so as to cover most of the frequencies and not make it feel like something is missing. I now need to learn how to think more individual instruments way. Learn how each instrument should sound, what is like a standard EQ for them and work from there.

Need to step up my game for drums, for CL-ing and for SE-ing. We really need help guys, we kinda only have Andre for the SE in Emerge. More people need to learn how to use the board so that I can don’t sound check and play at the same time. It was so tough yesterday when I needed to do both. But stupid me luhh, should have just went and search for a saved file and use it! I just thought it would easier you know! Oh well! Things to learn from internship! 🙂

Kinda looking forward to internship!

I do have to stop ministry for a while. In a way, it is nice. I haven’t really gotten a break from ministry since I started in 2013. Let’s see what wil God unfold in this season. I am quite concerned over my own walk though. Like I am scared I will not be fed enough. Lord, stay with me and be with me, teach me how to feed myself.

I am concerned over the ministry too. Not sure what will happen, but you know, God s faithful and would provide! 🙂 Please don’t let my kids forget me!

Pray for me guys, I need all the prayer I can get. Gonna need the prayers for stamina.

Pray for the ministry too. Pray for God’s providence over the ministry.

Let’s just see how God will use me in this season.

Ok, let’s run the next stretch with God’s amazing power.

-Kelvin-

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