=355= Stories To Tell: Ideas

I actually have quite a few story ideas that I want to write out, but they either just have too much detail in the story for a short story or I just got too busy with life to write them out. So yeah, here are some of my story ideas:

Story Ideas:

1. A man with amnesia that can only remember from his teens. Written from his teens memories, then when he woke up, he was already in his 30s

2. A Low IQ man(a fool) that wants to be a church staff

3. A Joyful waiter(someone that waits).

4. A man left a bag in a room. A woman saw the bag and took it. When she returned home, she opened the bag and saw the photos of man. She was amazed by the photos and wanted to know the guy.

5. A girl breaks up with his boyfriend on the day of prom, not giving him a reason. She even broke up with him over the phone. The guy tried to salvage the relationship, but failed.

Three years later, the man bumps into the girl. The girl was carrying a two year old boy.

6. A man that cannot sleep. He isn’t tired. He just doesn’t remember sleeping. He always end up in the middle of the day without remembering that he slept. He lives his life normally everyday even without knowing what happens during those 8 hours of “sleep”. The story will unfold as he gets suspected for a murder and he couldn’t account for the 8 hours he was “asleep?” The man will have to seek clues and find out what he has been doing during this 8 hours of sleep Everyday.

7. A man opened a chicken rice stall. However, he doesn’t have much business. One day, a food critic came by to eat and commented that his chicken rice was the best he ever had. The food critic came back the second day. However, on the third day he went to eat something else. The stall owner asked him why he isn’t eating his chicken rice. The food critic explained that it is boring to eat the same thing three times in a row; he will get sick of it. He challenged the stall owner to make chicken rice exciting. Saying that if he is able to make him go back to his stall everyday in one week, he will have an unbeatable chicken rice stall. 

8. What is in the safe?

The man said that his treasure is in the safe in his room. His children wants his inheritance. They kept fighting over the inheritance. Then it’s revealed what is in the safe after he died.

9. A girl and a boy were best friends for a long time. However, ever since the girl started work, they haven’t been able to hang out at all. One day, the girl received a call and was told that the boy had passed away. At the wake, the boy’s mum passed the boy’s dairies to her, telling her that she read it and that the girl should too. The girl starts to read the dairies. It unveils the 10 years that the boy has been together with the girl and how he fell in love with her. 

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=354= Reflections: 4am

-sigh- once again my body just refuses to sleep.

Sometimes when this happens, I would be reminded of how whenever I couldn’t sleep, I would text C. Chances are that she cannot sleep either. It has just been so long since that Christmas Eve of 2013. I feel so useless that I cannot rid of all residual feeling I have for her.

I mean like it has been so long, you would have thought that I would be able to keep her out of my mind by now. However, once in a while, I just catch myself thinking about her.

I don’t even know why I liked her.

Sure she is very pretty and attractive, but just what of her personality or character did I like about her?

I can’t remember. It could jolly well be the points that I listed in the previous post, but no. It is not. I just believed that deep down we were very similar to each other. We handle issues and pain very similarly and that probably made me attracted to her even more. I felt that she had so much problems and I felt compelled to protect her and support her. That probably spurred everything.

I don’t know. I don’t remember. 

I still remember talking about my crush in cell back in COOL!, telling everyone that whenever I said grace, I will pray that God will bless her food as well.

Oh just how young was I?

Just how can an unofficial relationship hurt me so bad? -sigh-

I thought about R and how he reacted when he broke up with his girlfriend and I just thought to myself that I am probably handling this better than I should. I am doubting this considering that I am still not entirely over her even after two whole years. I am probably 90% over it? The 10% still causes me to avoid her when I see her at Hougang 1. For all the times I saw her face, I was just, “Walk Walk Walk! Don’t look back!”

I guess I am just afraid of how I would handle the awkward meeting. Just how does one react in such situations?

“Hey Man! Long time no see! Do you remember how we used to be really close to each other for one year and after that you won’t reply my messages and return my calls? Yeah, I remember that too! Great! We both remember! I would much rather you have amnesia and forgot whatever I did though! Haha! Never mind about that! Okay! Bye bye!”

Somewhere deep inside of me just wants to call her up to talk about it and kinda resolve something you know. Have some closure.

It sounds pretty nice that we can just sit down and have a chat, giving me a chance to ask all the questions that I wanted to ask during that four long colourless months.

“Did you know that I liked you back then?”

“Why did you stop talking to me for four months?”

“Have you ever liked me? Or was I really just a friend to you?”

“If I asked you out back then, would you have gone out with me?”

However, you see, though I really want the answers to these questions, they don’t really matter anymore. Even if I knew that she liked me back then and that she would have gone out with me, that doesn’t exactly change anything. She still broke my heart, we haven’t been talking for 2 years, we definitely won’t go out now.

Sometimes the creative side of my brain just wish that this story has its plot twist. Kinda like I walk down the streets a few years later and I see C holding the hand of a young boy and that boy calls her “Mummy!” I just paused and realised what happened. She stopped communicating with me back then because she was pregnant with someone else’s child and didn’t want me to be involved. Hence, she cut off all forms of communication I had with her.

Hey beside the fact that I am trying to twist what happened, it actually sounds like quite a nice plot right? HAHA!

Haha, but no, I am pretty sure she wasn’t pregnant.

Well, now I am just so passive when it comes to relationships. Be it with guys or girls. I find it hard to be vulnerable with people. I am thankful for the good friends that have made. If you are reading this, I am most probably really thankful for you. Thank you for watching out for me and supporting me! 🙂

Oh well, let’s get some sleep now.

Thank you God for drawing me back to you after this incident. Thank you for being my constant in this ever changing world.

Thank you.

-Kelvin-a

=353= Words Of Melancholy: Constant

Well, before i go full Mel Mode, i just realised that my last few posts has been numbered wrong, HAHA, i just needed to be a bit OCD.

Recently, a constant slipped out of my life. It isn’t bad or anything, there is no misunderstanding, but it just happened. I realised this and I just got so sad. I mean, when will I start to have constants that will last all my life? I don’t know.

Not only that, but that evil covetous heart of mine just gets so jealous over people’s friendships. I don’t really know how to get deeper with someone. How does one bare himself/herself to another person?

Been chatting with a few people recently and i just enjoyed their presence. Thankful.

Haven’t had any time to go shoot photos. I really like photography. Like i enjoy it very much. Well, trying to learn as much as i can. I am even considering going for like a two month internship in a photography company or studio after my 5 months internship in ETG.

Sometimes I wonder if me trying to learn everything or try everything i am interested in is good. I mean sure, like I get to support people better with the skills i have learned, but i kinda feel like i am not exactly great in any particular area. Maybe should I sharpen one skill first? I don’t really know.

Well, I played for Good Friday today and i just think that i am so off form. I was pleasantly surprised that i could use the metronome effectively this set. I really need to practice more with it. Now that my QT has been more consistent, I now need to learn how to practice drums and sextuplets and chops(yes, more than one ‘and’, this is my blog, leave me alone for grammar! AHAHA!) more effectively. I need a practice schedule.

Does trying to learn everything make my personality repulsive?

I want to be able to do much, but you know, not physically possible. I want to be able to record drums for an album. I want to be a sound engineer that can react fast and solve problems quickly. I want to be a producer and mixer that can produce and get great mixes for an album. I want to write songs. I want to sing. I want to play guitar, keyboard, bass etc. I want to be able to know chords well. I want to take amazing photos. I want to try wedding photography. I want to try all kinds of photography. I want to be able to troubleshoot quickly. I want to be amazing at lights. I want to make short films. I want to write stories. I want to make friends that will last a lifetime. I want to form relationships with people. I want to be a strong spiritual guide to people. I want to love people. I want to do many things. I want to be great.

God, I am just not cut out to do all. I want to, but it is really quite tough.

Lord, I want to be humble. I want a good future, but why am I only looking at my life here and not my life in eternity?

What kind of a man do I wanna be?

  1. Honest
  2. Genuine
  3. Kind
  4. Caring
  5. Loving
  6. Wise
  7. Friendly
  8. Approachable
  9. Relatable
  10. Eloquent

I should really think about what attracts me to people, male, female, friends, bros, sis and crushes alike.

I am attracted to people because of their willingness to hear me out. I mean, i am really not too great a person, if you are willing to give me some attention and you are sincere about it and share your life with me as well, I give thanks.

I am attracted to people because they watch out for me. I think one of the main things that crushed a friendship of mine was that we did not watch out for each other.

I am attracted to people because they are low maintenance. Everyone needs some attention here and there you know. However, I would really appreciate that even after not hanging out for a long time that you will still acknowledge me ad a good friend and not be awkward with me. Something I appreciate for my friendships with the dance ministry people. Josh Lui and I are good friends, we don’t talk often, but when we do, we are loving each other’s company, we just enjoy each other’s presence. No need to be awkward, I am still me, you are still you, who the heck cares if you have new friends? You have new friends, I do too, that doesn’t mean e can’t be friends you know. This isn’t a game where you have a limit on the number of friends you can make, where you add the people you spend more time with inside the list and rid of people you haven’t spoken to in a while off the list. Haven’t spoken in a while? Don’t know how to interact with me after such a long time? Shut up, there you have it, you don’t know? Just freaking go and ask how my life has been, i would love to share my life with you. OK? Ok.

On that note, i realised that i need two types of friends. The type that would ask me everything and be vulnerable to and the type that would not ask me anything. Something i appreciate about my secondary school friends is that they are the latter. I honestly don’t want to speak to them over what happened with C. They don’t ask, i am glad. Once again, low maintenance, but still great friends. Love them. I will probably share with them eventually, i just give thanks that they don’t ask much.

I am attracted to people because they are willing to share their life with me. Sure, I am talkative and all, but i would really appreciate some response. And NO, “Oh cool…. <then silence>” is not a good response. I would much prefer the, “WOW, are you serious? Cool” But yeah, that is me! HAHA! Thank you friends for sharing your life with me! 🙂

It seems like I am attracted to people because they actually care about me. HAHA. Oh well, I actually feel a whole lot better after typing out this post. Once again, things are looking up!

 

=352= Reflections: Monster

Well, this actually wasn’t the first time I read this manga. The first time I watched the anime, I was probably still in secondary school. I got a bit overwhelmed and bored halfway.

I think I was reading this article about the top 10 darkest, mind bending anime of all time. The last one was Monster.

This time round, I was hooked. It is SOO good!

The story basically goes like this. A kind doctor with a belief that all lives are equal, saved a boy’s life over the mayor’s life because the boy came to the hospital first. This led to him being unable to promote and was told that he will never be promoted.

However, one night, all three of his superior doctors died and the boy that he saved and his sister disappeared.

Nine years later, the boy came back as a serial killer. Now the doctor has to put an end to the Monster that he brought back to life.

The whole story line is very complex and yet it is quite thrilling. The story and art has such a hold on the actual emotions of the situation. From the first chapter, it showed the corruption of the doctors, prioritising publicity over results, claiming that not all lives are equal. Already a very dark and complicated situation. As you read on, it unfolds a dark mystery with a repeating themes of worth; with questions like, “Are you wanted?” “What if your Mother doesn’t want you?” Being asked.

Despite being a dark manga, the series manages to add in chapters where there is redemption and grace. Touching the heart and making you wish for the safety of the characters.

I personally think that out of the series. Chapters 98 and 99 are the two of the saddest chapters. I let Charissa read this two and she was so angry at one of the characters.

Warning though! It is a little graphic.

Here is the link!http://www.mangareader.net/monster/98

I think that these two chapters are the best of the series. I mean like if you don’t take the mystery into account.

I just think that this series has it’s way of capturing humans in the most realistic way. Especially empathising on the dark and cruel side of humans.

The cruelest thing you can do to someone isn’t to kill him, but to tell him that no one in the world wants him and make him realise this himself. That there is no point living and have him kill himself.

I think why I thought that these two chapters were interesting(not in a happy way ok), was how relatable it was. It give you a small boy as a character, making you feel sorry for him and yet understand him to some point.

Milosh is in an orphanage and he has been wandering around looking for his mum. It was said that his mum is a prostitute and left him there. Milosh has been going around to find his mother. He doesn’t remember how his mother look like, but he claims that he will know when he sees her. He then said that he will definetely find her because her Mother will recognise him too.

“Anna” just went forward and asked the worse question ever. Not “What if your Mother doesn’t recognise you?” But “what if your Mother recognises you but pretends that she doesn’t?”

“Were you even wanted in the first place?”

“The world is all death anyway”

“Anna” then brought Milosh to the red light district to find his Mum, drilling that if he walked through and couldn’t find his mum, then he is unwanted.

You see a small boy in a huge world.

He then sees how dark the world is through many instances with prostitutes and pimps.

People taunting him that he knows about 50 women who could be his Mother. Implying that they are all women that wouldn’t want their child.

He meets a prostitute that hugs him, the prostitute’s friend asked if Milosh was her Son, she replied, “NO WAY!”

He sees a prostitute spitting gum. He gets reminded of “Anna”‘s words, “were you wanted?”

He finds a man weeping. He asked why is he crying but gets no answer. Giving Milosh the idea that he is going to grow up and become that.

He sees a man doing it with a prostitute. (I am sorry, it really is very dark and graphic) the prostitute didn’t want to do it in front of Milosh. The man demanded that she does whatever he says because he is the customer. Milosh got uncomfortable, looked away, ready to walk away, but the man told Milosh to stay and look; probably because it turns him on. (I am sorry, this series is like that) He then told Milosh that he is a teacher, telling him that he is a perfect gentlemen among the parents in his school. Killing all trust Milosh has in teachers. The teacher then paid Milosh money for watching.

The last person he saw was this dying lady. The lady asked Milosh for money. The lady snatched what Milosh had and ran away.

Milosh then was convinced that whatever “Anna” said was true and he decided to end his life by jumping of a bridge.

Dr Tenma and Grimmer managed to find him before anything happened and stopped him from jumping. Milosh then saw a butterfly on the ground and stepped on it to kill it. Grimmer saw that and was shocked.

Grimmer then looked at Milosh straight in the eyes and asked him what did he see back there and what did he learn. Grimmer then told Milosh the truth.

That he has no mother, but there is a reason why you are born. You were born because someone wanted you. (If not, she would have just went for an abortion you know, but maybe that era don’t have) someone wanted you.

Mr Grimmer then started weeping as well while hugging Milosh.

I just think that the final scene is so powerful. It is grace. I see something so prominent in people. That people will cry when they say the words that they want to hear the most but never heard to someone else. Mr Grimmer never had someone tell him that he is wanted, so when he told Milosh that he is wanted, he is actually speaking the words that he is broken from not hearing. That is why he broke down. Mr Grimmer is the best next to Dr Tenma in this series.

I am so sorry for this morbid story, but it really is very good. The ending wasn’t very satisfying to me, but it is good. 🙂

I think I like this story because it showed how morbid, how twisted, how messed up the world is and yet showed us that there is grace.

This story really shows grace and redemption very well.

If you are into this kinda genre, it is perfect.

Ok! Done!

-Kelvin-

=351= Relfections: First Official SE

Today was the first service that I sound engineered for.

Well, somehow Leb entrusted me with the board. I am actually quite inexperienced to it. However, after doing sound check for quite a few times, it just got a bit better and I was able to do sound engineering decently. I think the most important part about SE-ing is simply being able to spot the problems and know how to solve it.

I remembered a few things I have learned about EQ. One, EQ is for the instruments to sound good, not to make it fill the spaces in the frequency range. Meaning, filling up most of the frequencies to make your sound more full is actually the responsibility of the Musician and not the SE. There is a limit to how you can change the fundemental tone. Alberto told me that the best is not EQ, because when you EQ, the sound just becomes very thin or very thick, having no EQ is the best. I actually think that it makes sense. However, if there is EQ, why not just use it? Just don’t pull or push frequencies too much, the more you push/pull, the more horrible it will sound. Therefore, whenever you find your EQ strange, just put everything back down flat, then work from there.

Then, I also started to kinda “teach” people about sound engineering. Though I definetely believe that Leb is in a better position to teach than me, I think it is possible to start teaching people what I know. It’s like the drums workshop back then. I wasn’t at all great at drums, but I wanted to teach and people wanted to learn, hence, it just happened. I hope the people I teach sound to will continue to learn though! It is very important to continue to sharpen the craft and persevere even when you do something wrong! 🙂

Then today was jealous day again. Hiya, I need to stop coveting over things that I cannot control.

Then after that, I had a nice chat with Shena. I think it has been a while since I last chatted with her like this and it was nice! 🙂

Work was interesting! Oh crap, I haven’t done up my Weekly Blogs yet! Jialat! Oh well, let’s think about that tmr

-Kelvin-

=350= Reflections: Intern

So once again, I am an intern.

Well, these two weeks have been quite interesting. So in case you do not know, I am now interning in an events company. So far it has been great! I have been learning lots and the people are very nice.

This internship happened and it bought about so much change in my life.

One, for ministry. I have been serving ever since I turned 17. For both CL-ing and drums for the worship team. Being on internship in this industry just makes me unable to be free at night and on weekends. Hence, I kinda took a 5 month long break from ministry. I feel really bad because now Leb has to solo over at G2 every week and my co-cell leaders need to tank.

Two, for church in general. Work being at night and weekends also makes me unable to be fed by the church. So I have to learn how to feed myself properly. Honestly really respect those people who don’t got to church but still keep the faith going strong! That is you Y!

Three, is dinner at my grandmas. Ever since I was P5, I would have my dinner at my grandmas every weekday. Then when I hit Sec 2/3 I started going for J333, I stopped going on Wed. Then, when ministry started and LCs were on Fridays, that day is gone too. But never did I stop going for like 5 months. I am still trying to arrange, but it is so hard.

Four, practice for music. Not having a fixed schedule just made it so much tougher to practice anything.

Five, not being able to bring my camera everywhere I go. With my A6000 being so small, I used to bring it around with me everywhere I go. Whenever there was a nice moment or free time to shoot, I would. But I have a fear of my camera being stolen or crushed during such events, so I stopped bringing it around with me.

So all these changes really just shook my comfortable life. I kinda like to have a 9-5 job you know! Just that I don’t like to do what such jobs does. -sigh- first world problems.

So I made one change to my life to ensure that I will survive.

Six, change my QT time. It has been great! To be honest, my QT hasn’t been great. I do my QT at night, after everything, to kinda give thanks to God you know! But because it is after everything, I get either restless or sleepy, so I would give my worse time to God. Like it has been an issue for the longest time but I was just WAY too lazy to change anything. I considered changing my QT time to in the morning, thinking that is is a good move and that it will actually let me get things done. Never got to it. The trigger was the fear of not being fed for 5 months. Well, so I did it! I have been doing QT everyday in the morning for two weeks. It was great because it makes me think more about QT in the morning, distracting me from You-Know-What(people that knows will know). Then, being fed directly from the Bible and not through a sermon or through another person allows me to not have flawed doctrine. Not that being taught by a pastor will end up in flawed doctrine, but because sometimes the listeners will pick up the wrong points from the right teaching. For example, a man that does not know the Bible well, when they hear the phrase, “The bible is God’s word” the man might think of a scene with Ren men covered with a hood(like those cults), holding hands and chanting. Suddenly a flash of light shines in the center of the circle formed by them holding hands. Then a scroll magically floats down to the center and they call it God’s word. The pastor definetely wasn’t teaching something wrong, but the listener might assume wrong. (I certainly did when I was young! HAHA!) Learning straight from the word just allows you to learn from more direct source. (It isn’t the perfect source too, cause the Bible is written by humans, and how does mere words even capture what God is trying to convey? Not only that, there are translation errors too!) Changing this just allowed me to improve my walk with God.

In my internship, there are quite a few things to give thanks for.

One, if there aren’t any event, my job is basically 10-6, not as ideal as 9-5, but it isn’t bad!

Two, the people are nice! Enough said.

Three, the work benefits are good. While my pay isn’t as high as my friends, it certainly is a good company with good benefits.

Four, I am paired with Jun Yi. It is just great to have a friend with you you know. Having him with me just allowed him to kinda show me the ropes cause he did it before. However, I personally think that he is outperforming me, no surprise! He is more used to doing such things than me.

Like I just think that in an internship, it isn’t all about technical knowledge, it is also about people skills and learning how to get along with one another. I am still quite awkward with my colleagues at work, but so far so good. Made good friends today! 🙂

Five, I have been able to go to church so far. So I really hope I can continue to go there.

Talking about church. Today my supervisors chatted about the church. Like isn’t it just missing the point when we spend SOOO much money on the building? I actually totally agree. Like I honestly don’t think that expanding the church so that it can cater to more believers is a good enough reason to justify spending 60+ million on the building.

Like come on. We honestly do not need LED screens and the best equipment/instruments. Just think about the electricity bill pilling up when you install that. I mean, isn’t there a cheaper alternative? Like maybe a projector? I don’t know, perhaps a projector projecting that size of a screen might be more expensive in the long run.

However, I actually think that more money that the church gets should be put into missions and helping the poor and needy. Like while we are called to make disciples of all nations, i just think that Jesus was here for the weak and sick and not the strong and healthy. Shouldn’t our empantisis be on the poor as well? I would just like to see how out well dressed church members would react when we actually bring in hundreds of poor people to the church. I want to see their reactions. Will they reach out in love and smile at them and greet them? Or will they look disgusted and actually not want them there.

That is why sometimes I find the youth group rules are a bit restraining. I mean, sure I will not wear slippers and shorts to church. But what if the person I helped and bought is so poor that he can’t afford to buy a new pair of shoes and only have slippers?

Just think that it is true. Cultivating people to be a righteous people shouldn’t come before being a righteous person, setting the example for them to follow. I want to follow a man that is after helping people and having compassion for them.

Oh well, back to the internship, I learned lots! But no time to put into my school’s weekly blogs sia! But I here I am putting content out! Haha! Different I guess!

On the other hand, I reveived my results today! I am happy to announce that I maintained my GPA! 🙂

I really thought that it would drop this Sem. I really am not those faker kinda person(a harsh word will be hypocrite) that says “I am so going to fail, I am so going to fail” but then get great results in the end. I am really not trying to be modest when I said that I am worried for my results. I honestly was. Like for DA, the research for presentation was SO STRESSFUL! We couldn’t find anything substantial on the mixers we were supposed to find for. For ATE, though I studied SOOO hard, but I only got a 55/100 for the common test, not to mention that the exam was 45%. For Auto CAD, I wasn’t able to complete my drawing for both tests, though the second one performed a lot better.

I honestly thought that this Sem was gonna pull my GPA down.

But it didn’t, so I give thanks! 🙂 Thank You God for watching out for me!