=464= Word: Head Heavy

Well, dunno whether I studied too much, my head feels a bit heavy now. I have no idea why I am stressed.

Been thinking a lot about how things are going to work out. To be honest, I doubt it will.

I guess my heart is a bit heavy too. I just want to be treated normally, but no, why must people be awkward around me?

I notice the same process way too often. People who are close that stopped contact for a while find it hard to interact with me. Why?

Am I really that high maintainence? I mean, all I am expecting is like to be close and friendly, even after a long period of time. Is it that hard?

Been noticing myself once again. I suprised myself that I am no longer saying C’s name when I am feeling down. In fact, I haven’t for a while now. It was just a subconscious thing back then. I would just sigh and say C’s name. Mainly because she was the reason why I was sad in that season. I don’t even remember when I stopped. However, today I realised when I sighed, I said something else. I just broke out of it and rejoiced that the pain from C is almost taken out. Now, I just hope and wish that it can be completely taken out when she is finally ready to meet me.

People found it crazy and weird that I would go and contact someone that I haven’t talked to in 3 years. Is it though? I mean, hey, if something isn’t resolved, does that mean that I shouldn’t resolve it? Just because it isn’t resolved for 3 years?

I don’t know.

Until the day when we meet each other and it is no longer awkward, that will be the day it is resolved.

On another hand, I really want to receive something from someone. I hope I don’t have to wait another 6 years to receive it this time.

My desire as a friend? That you would rely on me when you are down or in trouble.