=466= Words Of Melancholy: Reluctance

You know right, I am usually not so emotional. However, with everyone around me breaking down and crying, I really cannot help it but be a bit reluctant to leave.

On stage, when Josh played the touch the knee game, everyone started having so much fun and laughs, it suddenly hit me that next year might not be like this. Wham, all the emotions started to pour. I really cannot hide my emotions whenever I am playing drums worshipping God, so I broke down and cried right before worship even started. I found it so hard to even smile while playing “Sing Sing Sing.” Lord, to be honest, I don’t want this year to end. I want it’s atmosphere and spirit to continue! Emerge is by far the smoothest ministry I have led so far.

I don’t understand whenever I hear the older leaders say, “We have been leading for a while, we are used to change!”

I sure am not. I am not used to people who were spiritual giants leaving and have me take over them. I am not used to having a good culture and atmosphere and then entering a new year.

Perhaps I am guilty of what J was concerned about.

Well, I had my year, let me rest right now.

Lord, may you have favour on this ministry and bless it! May the stagnant atmosphere that I battled against never come back to R-AGE. May the leaders lead well with love.

Father, please bless me. Help me Lord.

Thank you Father.

-Amen-

-Kelvin-

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