=481= Words of Melancholy: Grandstand

I am sitting at the grandstand area just pondering what it would be like.

Lord, my heart is so wicked. No matter how much I scold it, it just seem to want something you told me not to want.

Lord Father, will you please still my soul and satisfy me? I really don’t want myself to turn into someone that I don’t like.

Father, please help me.

There is so much joy sitting here and just hearing the cars pass by and the pool water flow. Not much to see or experience. It is just me resting and admiring what I hear.

Father, will you bless my heart?

Bless me with a strong heart. A strong heart that will never waver. A faith so strong that nothing can shake it.

Father, may I remember who I serve and may I start serving Him again.

Thank you Father.

-Amen-

Sometimes, being a Sang Mel really sucks. I get all the extreme emotions of a Sang and all the overbearing thoughts of a Mel. Sometimes I scold people for being too self depriciating, but yeah luhh, I myself am self depriciating too. I dunno, I guess I just don’t see very highly of myself. I mean, beyond what I can do, who am I? Beyond the abilities that makes me who I am, what will I be when I boil away those elements?

Right now one part of me says, “Nothing” the other part of me says “Everything.”

May I remember that being a child of God is my everything.

Thank you Lord.

-Kelvin-

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