=513= Five Word Post: Just A Child Of God

Dirty

Disappointed

Lost

Future

Home

~

Praise the Lord for having a place for even the most dirty sinner.

I always have these dreams where I will be the one in those drum interviews or product launch videos where I will say, “I have spent a lot of time; many years /on the drums/experimenting/researching/mixing, blah blah blah, until I got this result.

I want to be a drummer that played in a popular album that everyone likes. I want to be a sound engineer that has funding to do research and experiments on microphones. I want to be an interface designer that designed menus for sound boards and cameras. I want to be a photographer that has photos that are recognised. I want to be a designer that designs graphics that look stunning and is everywhere in the world. I want to be a journalist that writes untold stories to make them known. I want to be a children’s book writer that writes exciting aesthetic children books but with depth. I want to be a good best friend to everyone that knows me. I want to be a teacher that teaches with passion and inspires people. I want to be a producer that knows music so well that directs recordings. I want to be a spiritual giants that will rely on. I want to be so much.

However, after so much, God woke me up with a question, “Where am I in your dreams?”

I paused.

I stopped.

I ran away.

I was ashamed. Have I become a man that has lost the point? Come on Kelvin. What is more important? Your future or the one that gives you your future? Come on Kelvin. Dreams are great, dreams are goals that help man strive, but is there any point to anything that doesn’t have God in it?

Come on Kelvin.

Love God once again.

Is the devil really that great?

Is what the devil offered better than what God had offered? OF COURSE NOT.

Do you think that the devil is willing to die for you?

Come on Kelvin. Stop this nonsense RIGHT NOW.

Dream for the Lord now.

Father, I want to step into your presence without feeling ashamed. Lord, I dream of the day I tell people of your goodness and faithfulness to me. Lord, I pray that I will stop running into the same traps that the devil has laid for me. I pray that you get me out of this bondage. Father, may I be the man after your own heart. I want to be the man that can speak to you about everything. Every sorrow. Every heartache. Every bitterness against you Lord, I want to be able to talk to you about it. Father, take away my abilities if that is necessary. Take away my friends. Take away my ministry. Take away my future. Take away everything if it is necessary Lord. Please oh Lord. Please bring me back into your presence once again, because without you, Lord, what meaning is there?

I dream that one day, I will be the man that is willing to put down everything just to serve you. That if a gun is put to my head asking me to choose between the world and you, Lord, make me the man that will choose you. Father, I dare not boast, I dare not exaggerate, I dare not claim things that are not on my heart. I honestly don’t want to be Peter, made bold claims and yet still denied you three times.

Even so, you used him mightily Lord. Use me mightily.

Father, may I NEVER forget who I am serving. No. May I never forget who I am. I am forever a child of God.

Who am I kidding? I am not a man that struggles to lead a God led life in a God strayed world. I am just a child of God. Who wants me to struggle? God just wants me to love Him. God wants my heart. Jesus is enough.

Jesus paid it all. All to him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain. He washed it white as snow.

-Amen-

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