=524= Words of Melancholy: Restricted 

Sometimes, just sometimes, I feel so useless in the band.

Sometimes I feel, are drums really that important?

When I saw N struggling with the keys just now, I just cannot help it but feel so useless. Then when A and S came, you can see the amount of musical experience and technicality that they have. I was just there siting down on my Cajon because I cannot help them. 

Sure I am the one regulating dynamics, but honestly without the other instruments, drums just cannot exist alone.

Apart from the occasional drums only choruses, what good are drums when we are alone? What good is the skeleton?

Perhaps one day I will write a whole song with only percussion. Haha give the key with cow bell.

I had my first silence the cell to discipline them talk. Man, it really isn’t cool. I don’t like being stern. 😦 somehow or another, my roles in church puts me in a position where I have to discipline people, I don’t like to do it because I really don’t want people to be scared of me, but yeah, stepping up to discipline isn’t that great.

Lead my first debrief today. Man, I kept having the urge to debrief the band because I felt the need to. There are things that we can talk through, there are things to celebrate, things to sharpen. I think it is the result of mixing too much. You can sometimes tell a difference between acoustic sets with the same instruments. Somehow, even with the same instrumentation or even less instrumentation, one can achieve a more pleasing sound than one with more. Certain factors do apply, the difference in guitar tone, the difference in skill etc etc. I guess the approach is different too. Knowing the apex of your dynamics is very important too. Not hitting that too soon needs wisdom. 

Lord, what are you doing?

I can tell you honestly I am not ready. There are people that are way more capable than me.

I am immature, I am a spiritual weakling. How am I supposed to do that?

Father, help me out if you want me to. I will need lots of guidance. Help me Lord.

How come I can return home everyday feeling more and more charged?

I am physically tired, but I have so many opportunities to do so much more. Man, oh Lord, please bless me, help me Lord. Allow me to look to you in every circumstance.

Help me to remember your calling for me.

Thank you Lord.

-Amen-

-Kelvin-

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