=579= Words of Melancholy:Interruption 

I am lying in bed, going to sleep soon and yet I feel a bit out of place.

Haha. I dunno, how can I be in place?

Well this interruption is a good one.

My heart is rather unsteady over an issue.

Really hope that things will work out.

Had some ideas, but all frozen until I can use them.

Timing is such an important thing.

May it click right on time when it does.

A bit determined to do stuff. Going to try very hard.

I wonder does silence mean awkwardness or does it simply mean I am comfortable with you?

I really enjoy what I can do now.

Father, will you take my hand and guide me?

-Kelvin-

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=578= Thanksgiving: Treasures

God has prepared some treasure for me here, where I am.

One treasure was a rather funny one. I remembered one Emerege service, I stood in front for worship. I jumped so hard for God. At the end of service, there was this rather disgusting drops of sweat there. The leaders saw it and laughed. I cleaned it of course! 

Now, whenever I exercise and sweat drops to the parade square floor, I will remember the time when that happened and smile.

Rather simple treasure, but it was really something that reminded me of God’s goodness.

Thank you God for loving me and blessing me so much.

-Kelvin-

=577= Word: Restless

I am feeling rather restless now.

Without me noticing, I really became rather restless and figety. I only realised this when Tiff pointed it out. (Thanks Tiff) 

Not that it is that bad, but it seems like it is a symptom for something. I still cannot figure what caused the restlessness.

God, will you still my heart. Make me amazed with your love, so I that I can stay still and just admire. Help me Lord.

Thank you Father.

-Kelvin-

=576= Words Of Melancholy: Tired

When you stop giving, it becomes too difficult.

Is it really that hard to foresee the outcome?

I am tired.

Tired of trying too hard.

There needs to be a response back you know.

The more you don’t want to give, the harder it is.

I don’t want to say, “I give” one day.

However, I am seeing it coming.

So whatever lah.

I am too tired both physically and mentally to play alr. So whatever. Don’t want don’t want lor.

-Kelvin-

=575= Word: Where

You know, in my time here, free time became a luxury. The people you try to contact are the people you love.

So for those precious few that I asked whether they wanted a call or not, you guys are loved. If not, you are still loved, just not that much. AHAHAHAHA! Of course missed a few people, just because I didn’t scroll far enough. So you are still loved as much. HAHA. Will ask for a call soon. HEHE!

The reason I asked for calls over texts was that, I found texting wasting too much time. It really does. I have less than an hour everyday. If I were to text everyone of them, it would take too long. It was rather interesting too! HAHA! Some people were rather awkward with calls. HAHA! However, I am just glad to hear a farmiliar voice in such a time. 🙂

Today, I had an hour of free time. Funny thing was that I started chatting with Mindez and started trying to do some troubleshooting for my juniors over text. HAHA! Man, do I miss audio. 😦

I guess where a man with little time invests his time is where their heart is.

May I be after your own heart Lord.

Mistakes are mistakes. I need to stop beating myself over the mistakes I have done. It did have its heavy implications, but I have already done my best. Not going to give up trying to fix it, but just getting tired and discouraged. How much must I pour out before I get something back? Are such mistakes never redeemable? -sigh-

Found someone crazy about God here. Not even in my platoon, but glad to have him here to ground me. May I catch his fire.

Been thinking a lot about something. Seems like a Long way to go, but hey why not?

The place I am in feels like NA all over again; I am not good at anything here. However, this time,  my bunk mates are very encouraging. Was very shiong, but rather enjoyable. The FOMO feels are strong for everywhere. Sian that I miss BBQ… 😦 Birthday celebrations, etc etc. -sigh-

Oh well, God you take my hand and lead me.

Thank you Father.

-Amen-