=582= Word: Try My Luck

I don’t know. I seem to always be the try my luck kinda guy. 

Perhaps I watched too much of episode 5 of Proposal Daisakusen. HAHA! I really understand why the Grandfather acts the way he does. When he wants to do something to appreciate or love his love ones, he would just do it. He would do it because he knows that if he delays it, it might regret it.

Of course there is the other extreme to this spectrum—you just do whatever you feel like doing. This is unhealthy as well.

People seem to need a balance between these two qualities. One having courage to seize the day. Two having patience and wisdom to know whether to seize the day or not.

Seizing the day at the wrong time can lead to horrible consequences. Consequences that I am living with right now. I realised that certain issues take wisdom and not everything should be brought to light.

Love is patient and not self seeking.

How could I forget this. -sigh-

Ok enough of melancholic rants.

Why am I the try my luck kinda guy?

I don’t know. Haha. I just do. Miss Tan always say that I am the do first think later kinda person. Which yes in some ways it is true and it has helped me through some pretty cool parts of my life.

Whenever I think of someone or a group of people, I just try my luck to spend time with them. I suggested watching a movie with the Danjkelv group and we ended up meeting for dinner. I thought of JJ and we ended up running, eating laksa and playing mini ping pong. I thought of Grace Media, I travelled all the way down to the office to see if I could meet them for lunch(without informing them) and I did. We jammed and all. It was fun. I thought of YH and since it was convinient, I went down to her work place to buy, but she wasn’t there. I thought of Miss Tan and so I went down to her work place. Haha but once again she wasn’t there.

I dunno if all these small acts of wanting to spend time with them would be seen as extreme or intense, but I dunno, I just want to meet them lor.

I don’t really want to pick up the mess of not meeting for a long time and we become awkward with each other again. Fight for friendships and relationships is what I have been doing ever since what happened with C, with J and with S.

People have no idea how hard it is to maintain a friendship, but people have no idea how hard it so for me to give up a friendship.

People hear what I do to reconcile and think that I am extreme and that they will never do that. Well, I don’t know lah. If God can pursue me for so long with me always running away from Him. He can love me so much even though I act as if I hate Him. Why can’t I do the same for other people?

However, I am worried sometimes that the constant pursuit will aggravate instead of help the situation.

God’s love is constant and He is constantly pursuing me. However, I only respond to this love because I already had a relationship with God and I love Him.

With people, they seem to be able to put down all love. They seem to be able to put down all memories. When they do that, how am I supposed to pursue them?

If it was up to me, I would be driving every day. I would pursue pursue pursue until it has a breakthrough. However, with people, it is just tricky. I need to watch myself. I wonder what do I have to do?

Must I really give up a friendship that can be restored?

Why is it so hard to see that reconciliation is just the better decision?

Linearly, it makes a whole lot more sense. I gain back my friend and the situation is remedied. What is so bad about that? 

Afraid of new fights? Well, I doubt any fights are unsolvable. Anger will dissolve over time. Is being right really that important? If being right is so important, God wouldn’t have sent Jesus. God loved us so much that he made Jesus take up all the sin of the world. God cared so much about you, loved you so much that he basically forfeited His right as a Divine entity. To humble himself to come down to Earth as a human being to save us. 

God’s great pursuit broken His own judgement. Broken His own laws. He overlooked all of that and he loved you. He loves me.

God,you give me the patience and wisdom. I am done. I have nothing to give anymore. You be my sustenance Lord.

Thank you Father.

Be my strength.

-Kelvin-

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