=609= Words of Melancholy: Authority

What use is authority if I can’t lead? Lord, when a leader can’t lead, can you still use him?

Of course you can Lord, but can you please show me how? I am really tired. I am really lonely.

Help me Lord.

=608= Word: Clogged Lungs

God is good all the time and all the time God is good.

Through every single struggle, you are there.

Through every single cry, you are there.

Through every single heartbreak, you are there.

Through every single suffering, you are there.

When life goes out of control, worldly things gets stuck in my chest. It is as though your breath in me can no longer come out. It gets in, but the things of the world keeps the breath from going out.

It is a rather real thing. The chest feels tight and you overthink things. Overwhelming emotions enters and you wallow in unhealthy and ungodly thoughts.

Lord, release this tightness in my chest. Father, I want your breath to come out of me. I don’t want to speak ungodly words. I only want to speak words that are honourable to you.

Through every single struggle you are there. Take these clogged lungs and empty it Lord. Allow me to breathe your breath in and out of my body.

Help me Lord.

Help me Lord.

Help me Father.


=607= Word: The Night

I wonder if we can make it through the the night what will happen?

Perhaps we will treasure life a lot more. Perhaps we won’t take people we love for granted. Perhaps we will see the good. Perhaps the future won’t be so bad.

I just hope we can get through the night.

Hopefully the day will be fine! 🙂


Ps: I really hope my bunk mate won’t OOC. 😦 

=605= Word: When You

There are times when you start writing and you really don’t know where it will go. You just want to write down your thoughts because emotions overwhelmed your soul.

It might not be negative emotions too. It is just all kinds of funny feelings dwelling in your being.

When you feel heaviness in your chest. When you feel the weight on your head. When you lie in bed and the only thought just comes and grip your heart. When something happens and you feel a bit happy about it. When you decided to do something. When you think about the distant future. When you think about life. When you think about people. When you think about abilities. When you think about music. When you think about drills. When you get anxious for the day.

All I want to say is that I understand.

Haha, perhaps I just got a little too introspective.

Lord, when such emotions and thoughts come, will you arrest them? Will you just come and stop my worries? Lord, you are great. When will my heart learn to love you, Lord?

Father, still my heart!


=604= Word: Perhaps

There are thousands of memories to recount from, but those that need to be said are few.

Perhaps when we recount, we can immerse ourselves back in it, but how healthy is it to be stuck in the past?

Perhaps when we leave, it is the only time when we can know how much we are worth.

Perhaps the present already has treasures greater than the past.

Perhaps we are just stupid, killing off our future.