=649= Word: Compliments

Ever since yesterday’s set, playing one song with quite a few musical legends, I kept receiving good comments for my playing.

It honestly is quite a large amount. Like I think I never ever received so much praises for my playing before.

Old friends would say, “I thought you did a great job on the drums today/yesterday.”

A Chinese lady said, “you play very well! Waiting for you to come over Chinese service to help out!”

The drummer on that day said , “do you want to take over and play for worship?” After hearing us play for soundcheck.

I think the most star struck moment was when I had a chat with R, one of the musical guitar legends in church, telling him I was doing sound in emerge, his reply made my day man, “Huh? You play so well but you do sound?”

I just… NO WAY! R likes my playing?

Then we had a long chat about music and 五月天, sat in his cool car and just have such a nice chat. Who knew I would one day hang out with R like that Sia! 😭

Then, an old leader also texted me about it, he asked his friend how come got two band, and he said that my band is the Zai one and he saw me in it and he was so proud of me.

He mentioned that he can still remember me being in probation in CAMY.

Honestly, the last thing I want is for all these praises get to my head. Thank you so much for blessing me Lord. You have seen me through so much. From a little boy that only admires drums in the congregation to a boy that can play with his musical legends to a sound engineer and recording engineer. Lord, you have brought me so far. Please help me be disciplined. May I always improve in my playing. Father please help me.

Thank you for showing me grace after grace even after I show you failures after failures.

Thank you Lord.



=648= Songs: Draw Me Close To You

“Draw Me Close” 

Draw me close to you
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I’m your friend

Help me find a way to bring me back to you

You’re all I want, You’re all I’ve ever needed
You’re all I want,
Help me know you are near

You are my desire
No one else will do
Cause no one else
Can take your place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace

Help me find a way to bring me back to you

You’re all I want, You’re all I’ve ever needed
You’re all I want,
Help me know you are near

=647= Words of Melancholy: Nostalgia

I dunno what is wrong with me today. I just got so nostalgic today.

I started remembering my meals with C. How we used to meet as a group back when we were 17 where C and I have conversations together. We laughed and talked to each other exclusively. I wonder how would I handle such a situation now that I am 5 years older?

I think I probably would actually sit down and have a talk with her. I probably would have handled the situation a lot more maturely. Even if the feelings weren’t reciprocated, we probably would have remained friends.

I probably would have been smarter and more sensitive to her feelings.

I wonder what goes through her mind?

Haha nothing like the first heartbreak huh?

It has been a while since I last lamented on this issue. I guess I am just seeing parallels in some recent issues.

First I was too afraid to say anything about how I feel.

Second I was suppressing my feelings.

Third I was too rushed.

Fourth I handled things wrong.

I wonder how many more mistakes will come before I actually do it right?

Then I started reminiscing on the first year of emerge. It was such a good year of ministry. Everything was so smooth it was like a dream. In just one year, so many things has changed. I am no longer officially in emerge. I no longer play drums in emerge. Miss Tan is an RL, going to do soak tmr, which she is going to be great at by the way. HAHA. Yeah, so many friendships has moved forward too. Miss Tan and I don’t irritate each other as much anymore. J and I are good. I no longer dread messages from BK or SS. I now have plenty of support and time to rest.

I see my circle of friends, over the years just changed so much. People whom I never thought would be close to, I am now fairly close to. People whom I am close to aren’t by my side. People that are still fighting for friendships I am so grateful for them.

I am now so afraid to move anywhere. It feels like whatever step I take will be a different step. Indeed change is unavoidable, but can I at least keep my close friends?

I don’t want them to slowly dwindle away. I don’t want to see them one day and feel awkwardness and not excitement.

Oh woe to the man whom has many close friends only to lose to them to time and not death.

Will life always just be a constant change of friends? Isn’t that just sad? How come familiarity is so fleeting?

Lord, will you please bless me? Bless me with friends that will stick with me until I die? Low maintenance also can, high maintenance also can. Just give me more constants in my life.

Lord, be my constant. 

Thank you Lord.



=646= Word: Musicianship

Last night was a super humbling experience. -sigh- I had rehearsal for Good Friday service. The band for the special item comprises of all the musical legends in my church and boy was I horrible.

Goodness, I am well aware that I am rather off form because of national service, but my standard of playing always sufficed for day to day service playing. However, flaws of my playing shows when I need to follow the metronome and I needed to be precise.

I felt like a little boy among the legends. They were discussing what was wrong with the chords, suggesting alternatives, while the backbone of the band isn’t being a good backbone. It doesn’t help when the drum shield isolates you. -sigh- help me.

Don’t get me wrong though, I am not too down or depressed. I mean, of course I am sad that I am not performing up the standard, but I am motivated to be a better musician once again. Perhaps I have grown arrogant in recent years. I am once again humbled.

I always tend to complain that I am off form. Honestly, that is just an excuse for not practicing hard enough. I am not off form, I am not treating my musicianship serious enough.

Passion is not enough. I need rock hard practice. Anyone can be excited about music being created, but only musicians that has the ability and technicalities can execute the music being created.

I have been too comfortable with my engineer mindset about being able to fix stuff in post. I now need to force myself to fix stuff in playing.

I still have a long long way to go. Work harder Kelv, be a better musician will you? 

=645= Word: Doors

Within a short span of time, quite a few doors opened and honestly, I really want to go through every single door, but I really think that I might not have the capacity to do so though.

I just wonder how it would be like to be a professional drummer for a band?

Hope things will work out the way you want it to Lord. Father, give me wisdom to discern.


=644= Stories to Tell: Xion Company

The head of facilities management of Xion company held a meeting over a serious matter in the company.

“Mark, we have a problem!” Said the head to his facility manager, “one of the shower cubicle in level 4 has a leakage problem, it wouldn’t stop flowing!”

“Sir, why is this so important that you have to call us here today for this meeting? We can just call Uncle John!”

Uncle John is a plumber in Xion, a very handy person, he actually installed all the pipes in the building. However, the head has no intention of asking Uncle John to come.

“Uncle John? Nah, he is so rude! I don’t want to get any favours from him!” Said the head.

Mark just frowned at this ridiculous situation, “Then what do you suggest? Hire another plumber from outside?”

“No! Of course not! How shameful that would be to let others see that Xion has to hire a plumber to do such a simple thing!” Replied the head. “Can we think of a solution that will avoid asking Uncle John or hire an external plumber?”

“Maybe we can stop tape the shower cubicle up to stop the water flow?” Said the engineer, Matthew.

“Hmm, I don’t think it would hold if people would to use it everyday though.” Said the sales analyst, Luke.

“Hmm, how about we stop the water flow and seal off the shower cubicle?” Suggested the engineer.

“No, that shower cubicle is our one good shower, not having that will be inconvenient.” Said the head.

“Well we cannot leave the water on forever can we? We are wasting litres of water everyday, that is a huge loss!” Said Luke.

“Haha, why not we just collect all the water and give it to the poor?” Mark mocked.

“Great idea Mark!” Exclaimed the head. “But, there won’t be profit, let’s bottle the water and sell it as Xion water! It will be a fantastic investment!” 

“…you cannot be serious…” Said Mark.

“No! Of course not! It is really a great idea! Now the trend is to have bottled water everyday! Youngsters would totally go for it!” Said Luke.

“I can call my friend to enquire the price of a bottling machine.” Said Matthew.

Mark just sighed to himself and cannot believe how ridiculous his colleagues were.



=643= Reflections: Discipline

Something happened in camp today. Two of my friends came late for first parade and they were being scolded by the RSM. The RSM took this opportunity to scold our platoon and brought up things like how our platoon is having a transistion to do guard duty but we should still uphold the highest standard and be best in drills and be responsible for our little duties like area cleaning.

Honestly, from what I have been seeing, our new RSM has been really quite nice. Though he is strict on us, he is just trying to do his job. We often have to see it differently. I mean come on, who likes their discipline master/mistress? Let’s be frank, a discipline master that doesn’t discipline, isn’t doing his job and should be fired.

Nobody likes being scolded, but when there is a need to, one should understand. If you were in the wrong, admit it and move on.

It really shows bad character when people complain and say that they might as well not do certain things. I mean come on, you were late, accept it and just be more careful next time, don’t be annoying and say that you shouldn’t have gone for first parade.

It irritates me when people complain about food too.

Many of my platoon mates has expressed their surprise that I am still going to the cook house for meals, claiming that cook house food is horrible. Not only that, quite a few people has expressed their huge distaste for duty food, as if the duty food was really horrible and need my opinion to be the same as their’s.


I have no idea what they are complaining about. Seriously. No idea why they are bitching so much for. For the record, the food isn’t bad at all. I constantly say that I thought army food would be way worse, like I imagined the food to be bland and lack variety. On the contrary, come on, just look at what you are eating everyday. There is constantly two kinds of meat everyday. There is soup, fruits(not even bad fruits, there is a huge variety of fruits) and cordial. Seriously, are people really too pampered to see how blessed they are?

The complain for duty food is even more ridiculous. Duty food is freaking Qiji! Come on! Each meal is like $5+ and like quality is really not too bad. People still have the audacity to tell me that the laksa and mee rebus is disgusting. Just because you are sick of eating something, doesn’t make that something bad.


I wonder if the people these days lack a sense of contentment that we should all have. It is really sad to see people waste food and complain about simple duties. Really horrible.

Oh well, God please keep me patient and never take for granted what you have blessed me with. Thank you Lord.



=642= Reflections: Moving On

There comes a time in every musician’s life that he/she moves on to a new instrument.

Not that I am going to stop playing drums, but I am going to start learning a new instrument to help me become a better musician. If anything, this is the third time I am venturing out of drums. The second being sound engineering.

Haha, I really don’t want to be called the drummer that plays piano/guitar I want to be a drummer, a pianist and a guitarist. A pitched instrument is really hard for me to grasp as of right now. I wonder how do people even play such an instrument.

The more I dive into music, the more inadequate and ignorant I feel. There is just SOOO much to learn man.

I have some plans to do film a music video after I am done with the recording. I wonder how that would go. Everything needs to come full circle you see. HAHA!

Lord, please inspire me and show me what I can do. Bless me Lord.

Help me Lord.



=641= Stories To Tell: Self Loathing 

“Hey what is your type?” Asked Rachel.

“Huh?” Answered Clark. “Why do you even need to know that?”

“Well, we have been friends for years and you never ever talked about it with me, perhaps are you… Ahem….” Rachel teased.

“I AM STRAIGHT! Come on! Help lah!” Clark retorted. 

“AHAHAHA! Serious though, what kind of girls are you interested in?” Rachel asked in a less teasing tone.

“I really dunno.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t really have a type I guess, but I mean, I am not that great a person either. I don’t see a point of having a type when I doubt that any girl will even fancy me….”

“Whoa, whoa, stop bro.” Rachel interrupted Clark.  “Are you for real?”

“What? Yeah, I am just being realistic here alright? I am close to thirty, the girls I liked before aren’t interested in me. So what is the point? I am just going to buy a house when I am old enough and I am going to die alone.”

“You are crazy ok Clark. Sure, you are a little weird at times, but you are also one of the most initiative and most caring person I know.”

“So what? I put in so much effort for everyone, but no one likes me, I am going to be that cool bachelor that can buy everything he wants.”

“This is nonsense alright Clark? You will find someone alright?”

“Why is finding someone so important? Can’t you live your life without getting into something? Can’t you live your life one person without anything going on? Is finding someone to date just so important?”

“It isn’t, of course! If it was anyone else I would even have bothered alright?”

“What? Why am I different?”

“Because, you always seemed so… So lonely.”


“Yeah, you always seemed so lonely, that is why you always surround yourself with people. You are always so passionate about things. You share things with others, you care for them so much. You are a wonderful person Clark.”

Clark paused. “I am almost thirty…”

“So what? Who said that you need to get married before thirty? Come on Clark! Stop chasing all these kinda stuff. Alright? You are a decent man, you will find someone if you want to alright? Even if you don’t, that is alright too. Like you said, it is alright living without a spouse. God still loves you alright?”

Clark sighed, “alright.”

=640= Word: Need to Learn

“I don’t think you need to know that.”

“I don’t need to know this, I just need to know what can get me through the job.”

“Just show me what I need to know”


-sigh- Somehow, all the statements above just irritates me. In hindsight, it may appear that the person is efficient and wants to get work done, but really? I see someone contented with ignorance. Isn’t it sad?

It is as though as a person living a christian life and saying that all I need to know is that God sent Jesus down to die for me and whoever believes that will have eternal life.

While it is true that that is all you need, how certain are you that you will have salvation while living life like this?

How can one live a christian life without constantly finding out new things about God?

Are you seriously telling me that all I need to learn is the mere basic? Do you not have the drive to learn more?

How is enough even enough?


Do people not have standards?

What you need to know should always grow. I hope to be a man that will continue to learn even when I grow old. What is more boring than doing the same thing over and over?

In some ways, I am really happy that I am coaching youths in sound. Something about the younger generation that is eager to learn and would not act as if they know better that just makes me heartened watching them.

Help me be patient Lord.