=657= Word: Boredom

The themes of this season is:

  • Boredom
  • Restlessness
  • Tired
  • Uninspired
  • Sleepy

Hmm, it is a funny time. I am still actively trying to write, but I dunno, I seem to lack the passion and drive that I had. There seems to be a lack of story and inspiration in my life.

I still keep up with my work, I would sit myself down and try to write every now and then. I will be able to come up with tunes here and there, but I just cannot get a whole solid song out anymore.

I mean I will be able to get something of a certain standard out, of course, but you can tell there is no life in it.

I only realised recently that as a person, I don’t hide my feelings at all. My friends said that whenever I get irritated or angry, it is all over my face. I wonder if that is a good thing? Life seem to value people who can hide their feelings. I dunno.

I got annoyed recently. It is just really unprofessional to tell me something that you didn’t even bother to clarify. You can explain all you want about why something is a yes or no, but you don’t even know the answer, why don’t you clarify?

Some people seem to think, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!” Well, I do agree on that. The key phrase is “if it ain’t broke.”

Are you seriously telling me that our organisation is perfect? Are you seriously telling me that there is no room for change or improvement? It just makes me look sily and trying to look for a problem in a “alright” system, but are you seriously telling me that my suggestions aren’t even considered?

It is just frustrating for someone to not even listen.

How can a leader not listen? I don’t understand. It is just not possible. If you don’t listen, how do you even know what can be better?

Options. They need to consider options. An option may be ridiculous, but if possible, one needs to consider, even if it goes against social norms.

I also dislike being labeled. It isn’t that labelling is bad or anything, but you know, perhaps I dislike just being labeled as one thing.

“Kelvin is a very audio person while L is a very visual person.”

Hmm, they seem to forget that I am a photographer too.

I myself am a bit baffled at myself being so irritated about it. HAHA. I mean, it is really quite minor lah, but yeah, perhaps there really is quite a bit of build up. Irritation at a person just increases when there is friction among the two.

I guess, I dislike being labeled because it makes me seem like a one trick pony. Kelvin is an audio guy and always will be an audio guy. Kelvin is a visual guy and always will be a visual guy. Why can’t I be both an audio and visual guy? Why must I be one or the other? Just because I am better at one, doesn’t mean that I take pride being only one.

I don’t want to be the drummer that does sound, or the sound engineer that can play drums. I want to be a drummer and a sound engineer. It is very different when someone calls you that. 

For the record, I want to be the guy  with the most freedom in the world. I want to be able to do whatever interests me and do it well. I want to be a drummer, sound engineer, engineer, producer, song writer, arranger, writer, photographer, traveller and many more. I never want to be just labeled as a single vocation. I want to be labeled everything.

My mom would often say that my interests are so diverse and that I should focus on one. I often ask her why. Why do I need to do that?

I don’t just want to be a Jack of all trades and master of none. I want to be the master of all. 

Perhaps I am too greedy. Ambition is quite a scary stepping stone for pride. Lord, humble me. Teach me how to give you all the glory.

To my beloved God be all the glory, for without you I wouldn’t be anything. I don’t even dare talk about any vocation, for the only thing I truly am is a child of God.

God, use me.

Thank you Father.

-Kelvin-

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