Yesterday during CAMY center stage, we were asked to share our thanksgiving. Almost immediately, I thought of my answer, thank you God for not giving up on me.
Through the years, God has never stopped pursuing me. Even though I sin. Even though I hurt Him. Even though I ran away, God still loved me. He never did give up on me. Even on the days that I wallow in self pity, God was there to comfort me. Even though I found it so hard to move forward. Even though I say that I love Him, my actions speaks otherwise.
Through the years, I have grown bitter, envious and cynical. Perpetually tired, I demanded answers from God. I have became envious of the people around me. Having things that I wanted and living the lives that I gave up on. I must have been so blinded then. I stopped praising God. I stopped loving Him.
Even this year when I took this year off ministry, I continued to struggle. I continued to be bitter. If you have ever tried to talk to someone that refuses to talk to you, you will know how bad it felt. You feel like giving up. You don’t know if constant pursuit may be worse than a period of silence. Despite of that, God never stopped loving me. Showing me grace whenever I needed it. Even though I cringe at every mistake I made. Even though I regret so many things I have done. God forgave me.
Oh Praise The Lord!
He has never forgotten me! He has never given up on me! Father, you are amazing! Thank you so much!