=709= Words of Melancholy: Being Slow

It has been quite a long while since I wrote a post with this sub title. HAHA, eventually all my thoughts became “Word” because I felt that it conveyed what I felt. Like you know when you agree with something and you say “Word!”

Recently my buddy irritated me. I love my buddy to bits, he constantly watches out for me and gives me advice and teaches me stuff, but he sometimes like to tell me things that I clearly know.

For example, once we were talking about tonality, and how my tone changes with what I feel. He couldn’t tell the difference and told me that there is no difference. I told him that I have a good ear. He then told me that I think I do, but I really don’t.

Well, just a bit irritated because I clearly have a trained ear you see. Perhaps, there is a certain pride in me about having a good ear because I am a sound engineer. I know that he meant I am not attentive to hear things most of the time; which I totally agree by the way. I don’t really bother being attentive all the time, but when I do pay attention, I hear it. Being attentive has nothing to do with having a good ear you see, it irritates me when he tells me that I don’t have it when I clearly do.

This time, he told me to do move off first without making sure that everyone has their weapon. After hearing it, I thought about it and I really don’t think waiting for 6 other guys to go through scan will take up that much time! So I continued to do so. After I did it another time, he told me again. Which I then told him, “how much time will it take?”

He then shot back, “can you just listen?”

We both then clammed up like the Asians we are, only talking about it after duty. I explained myself and he revealed that people have been saying that I am too slow and he only told me to do so because he did not want them to speak of me that way. I am once again in love with my buddy. AHAHAHA.

It was really disappointing though. I mean seriously, it was like my first 2 times doing such duties and they whine and complain that I am late? It isn’t that I am not doing my job properly man, I probably did my job better than quite a few people. On my first duty I already cleaned more than most of them.

It also irritates me when people demand me to do stuff. Things like taking out their uniform from their locker so that I would clean their locker. Or telling me to take out the sling when like I wasn’t even supposed to be in the room. TSK. Like, I seriously did my job already, will it seriously kill you to clean yourself or like take the sling out?

Come on man, you JUST came in. Have some sense.

Perhaps it is just a work ethic thing, but I think that I have already done plenty. I am just a bit disappointed. For the platoon that I have been loving and fighting for, I even cleaned for, they sure don’t know how to be appreciative. Perhaps only when I am out of the platoon will they feel the difference. -sigh- Lord, help me to love these people.

Father, encourage me again. Give me strength to move on.

Help me O Lord.



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