Sometimes in a difficult situation or disagreement, people tend not to be too clear about their decision. No one wants to be the bad guy, no one wants to be the guy that brings bad news. Perhaps they would think that it could be inferred from their words, what the person meant. However, it is extremely frustrating when they assume that it is understood.
Let me explain with an example. Let’s say your parents gave you a call, they asks where are you. As you are still rather far away, you don’t want to get scolded, so you answer, “I am on my way back!”
Your answer, though true, is not answering the question. The question was asking, WHERE are you, not are you coming back. I hate it whenever people answer a different question to the one asked. A truth to a question is a lie to another one.
Just because you kept discouraging someone from doing something, doesn’t mean that you are saying a no. People tend not to be clear because they do not want to be the decision maker. They don’t want to be responsible for the result. However, clarity is extremely important.
I could tell a person to smoke less, but telling a person to smoke less isn’t asking the person to quit smoking. So there is no reason for you to be angry when the person did not quit.
People should learn to be more responsible. Be more clear. Apologise when you make a mistake. Come on, let us stop being afraid.
Oh I must point out that being tactful is different from being unclear. Tactful is choosing to say truth in a way that is less hurtful, not using another truth to mask the problem. It can be clear when you are tactful. Sometimes explaining your problem can do wonders. When you are receiving heat from your boss and you are handling a problem from your underlings, you can simply explain that you are receiving friction from your boss. Explaining the situation is being tactful. Not explaining and trying to get your underlings to understand you is just ridiculous.
-sigh- Let us be clear.