=766= Word: Passion

It sometimes is very clear what you prefer to do. Sometimes passions shows. In my weeks in uni, I found myself spending quite a significant amount of time to be a better musician and producing music.

Honestly, if you ask me what I want to be doing in life, I rather be producing music than to have a high paying job.

I want to teach and strive for original content with budding musicians.

Sure it isn’t something profitable of course, but really money isn’t everything.

Still very far from my dream. I wonder if it will ever come true?


On another note, teaching as a job now really helped me to learn new skills.

Being a music teacher the hardest part most of time isn’t teaching music, the hart part is handling parents and getting kids to be excited and love the instrument.

Learning to express myself more clearly every time a parent shows concern. Learning how to communicate well with parents so that they won’t lose confidence with me. Learning to be patient and not snap at others.

Not only that, being in a community that loves the instrument, I am challenged and inspired every time I attended a company meeting. I met famous drummers that practiced everyday. I have seen impressive performances by people that I used to learn from.

There is so much to learn, I want to continue and be a better musician.


=765= Melancholic Reflections: Waste

Imagine staying up late to do a report. You are passionate about the topic and you have been writing about it for years, you love sharing the information with others. You have been invited to share your report at a event.

Then all of a sudden, the event is cancelled. They are going to go with someone else’s report.


Imagine you are a cell leader, you discovered something new about God and you are excited to share with your cell. You took a few days to prepare for lesson. You bought all the logistics and your co-leader decided to cancel cell that day.


Imagine you are a musician. You respect music and you prepare very hard for a gig. Then on the day itself they decided to go with a different person.


Isn’t it painful to see hard work go to waste?

Isn’t it painful to know that sometimes hardwork doesn’t equate to results?

There are some things that we just cannot control.

You can never grow older than someone older than you.

You can never force someone to like you.

You can never get something done well without hard work.

You can never understand something without learning.

Lord, realign my heart. It may be painful, but ultimately it is for you God. Still I praise you. Father, you are good.


Sometimes I get amazed that JK and I are on such good terms now. We used to be loggerheads during our first year of leading. Perhaps we both grew and we understood each other. I hope for a day when everyone understands everyone.

=764= Word: Paradoxical Emotions and Actions

Back in army, fitness was very important. Even so, there are people that make quite funny excuses when it comes to exercise. The one I thought of is:

“I am unfit, so I don’t exercise.”

Isn’t it such a paradox?

You are unfit, hence, you don’t exercise? But you can only get fit if you exercise.

I have seen some similar paradox.

“I scored badly, I don’t want to study.”

“I performed badly on stage, I don’t wat to practice anymore.”

At this point, I am pretty sure some of you guys will be questioning, “what is wrong with that?”

To be frank, I just went through quite a phase of not wanting to studying because I scored badly. Being a pretty emotional person, it took quite a long time to recover from my failed test. The worse part was that the recovery period was too short. I began a process of procrastinating and trying not to think about work. The hardest thing is to focus and do something you are bad at.

Though there really is merit in that. Doing something you are bad at, helps you get better at it the next time. Being a musician, I remember the times when I feel that I am so bad at my craft. I love drums and music, but it sometimes feels so painful knowing that you are bad at what you want to do.

Hard work doesn’t necessarily equate to results. In school, nothing matters more than results. It is a fair system, but the people get discouraged. Being great at something really takes very thick skin. To be able to fail and fail and fail until you are great at something takes a lot of energy and time.

A mentor once told me that I have this tendency to struggle and fail at something for a long while, but once I got the hang of something, I can do it pretty well.

I hope this is the case for my studies. I have no idea. Right now, I rather be doing something else, but let’s grind a bit. Let’s buckle down and work a bit harder every time.