=11= Worship on/off Stage: Horrible

Haha, well, from the title you would have guess that i have had a horrible experience on stage… What happened was that i couldn’t snap like two songs out of four songs from the set.

The rehearsal for this worship session wasn’t as smooth as i liked to…
I was quite surprised that i could play ‘Counting on God’ by New Life Worship, considering that i have failed quite badly when i played it during probation.
Then we moved on to ‘Everyday’ by Hillsongs. Considering that i have heard this song for like 4 years, i did not listen to it properly. This choice made ‘Everyday’ to be my worse playing since i ended probation. I couldn’t keep time. I couldn’t get the groove. When i play, it sounded horrible.
Then we went on to ‘Here I Am To Worship’ by Hillsongs. It was not bad. But i wasn’t worshiping.
Then finally, we went to ‘Oh You Bring’ by Hillsongs. This song has special meaning to me! It was the first song that I ever successfully played during probation. I still could remember the lighting the presence of God when i was behind the snare playing it! But this time round, I just played without worshiping. I was playing too loud at the top and unintentional at the climax.

Well, my two stewards were really nice. They took the initiative to ask me if i needed help(of course i will take it! :P)! I really give thanks that i have such awesome stewards that will help me! πŸ˜€ Well, one of them showed me the groove and helped me to think about my parts(Thank you Bro J! πŸ™‚)! On top of that, i also asked my drum teacher to help me listen and help me to play the groove! My ex-steward also showed me the groove before my soundcheck.

Then come our soundcheck. I was prepared to play my parts! I even prepared certain fills to execute during ‘Everything’. So i simply played. It was great! I managed to play most of what i wanted!

BUT. When it came to the actual worship session, it felt horrible. I couldn’t execute the fill i wanted. When i built up, i stopped at the wrong point. starting of the last song was messy. Worse of all, when it came to the altar call, when i played the 6/8 song, i was playing at such a fast pace. I sped up, when my worship leader signalled me to slow down, i was still playing at a fast speed. After that, it simply felt bad. Like i said the only word that could describe that moment is “HORRIBLE”. I dropped to a point where i felt worthless. I was there thinking, ‘why did God even call me to this ministry?’, ‘I am not worthy to step on stage’ i felt like i was shortchanging God.

Well, we had our debrief. One very comforting Worship leader seeing how much i was affected he still complimented me(Bro D, I noticed! Thank you!)! Then, my steward and ex-steward still told me how i could improve(Bro C, Thank you so much!)! They showed me how i could have played it and taught me dynamics. I was feeling better then, but still sian…

After like 2 hours, I saw my mentor and told him how i felt, as i was saying it, tears just flowed. My mentor told me(not in the exact same words, he puts it better me) that perfection is good, but it shouldn’t be our main focus. If we put perfection over God, we are serving for the wrong reasons. That we should have fun when worshiping God on stage! He told me that i have a second chance tomorrow. That he wants to see me having fun on stage serving God, that when i make a mistake tomorrow, i will smile and laugh it off. Thanks Bro K, if you are reading this, thank you so much for your words! It felt like that day! Thank you so much! πŸ™‚ My co-cell leader saw me crying and also comforted me(Thank you so much JK) I believe he told my steward, haha, my steward was super duper(once again) nice! He texted me saying sorry, and giving me direction(Bro J, this week was an awesome week! Thank you so much!).

Well, on Sunday, my second chance came.

I am glad to say this, it ended well. ‘Everyday’ didn’t go as i would have wanted as well, I didn’t managed to do the fill i wanted. But i had fun playing! ‘Here I Am To Worship’ didn’t go as we practiced! But i loved that arrangement better(Sis G, I REALLY REALLY REALLY liked how it went!)! Then ‘Oh You Bring’ didn’t start as well, but after the build up, IT WAS SO GOOD! I was able to worship God and feel His presence well! I gotten assurance from my best friend(Bro, your approval means a lot), my lunch mate(JL, haha, thank you man!) and my ex-cell mate(thanks C!). When it was the debrief, they said that the tempo was good!

Well, with this week, i guess my direction for worship will be different! God, thank you for being able to redeem everything! Please help me to work hard to worship you!
-Amen-

Hope this has blessed you! I hope you will worship God with all your heart!

-Kelvin-

=10= Melancholic Reflections: Death

Think about it! Death is scary…. I believe many people would wonder how many people would actually attend their funeral! Some say that a person’s worth can be measured by seeing how many people mourns for you at your funeral!

I dread the day i have to attend the funeral of my friends. Just imagine one of your close class mates’ death, would you want to attend that funeral? I don’t know how will i react if i receive news that my classmate had just passed away… But i do know that i will be devastated…

I rather die first than to face the pain of seeing my loved ones passing away earlier than me. I often wonder who will die first, my best friend or me? You know if he dies before me, I would not want to speak in his funeral, I just want to stay silent and mourn for him.

Well for my death, i wonder when will that be? Would i still be studying? Will i still be single? Will i be working? How will i die? Or will the rapture come before i die? Well, all these questions, i leave it to God to handle. I shall just focus on my life now.

I am not saying that i am not scared of death, I am saying that if i focus about it too much, i will be one of those people who will do crazy things and justify their action with the phrase ‘YOLO’ Sure its true that you only live once, but should you use Death as a reason to do crazy things?

God gave you this life, so you should treasure it! Jesus died to save you, so you should live your life to God’s standards not yours!

Oh well, this topic is just depressing… i hope it has blessed you! πŸ™‚

-Kelvin-

=9= Melancholic Reflections: Teenagers

Well, on Thursday, i was given a task of writing an essay. I was given multiple choices on the topic. I chose the topic of teenagers. Well, mainly because i read the book ‘Do Hard Things’ by Alex and Brett Harris. (oh and i just realised that they are brothers with Joshua Harris… O_O sho cool….) So the essay is heavily inspired by the book. And i decided to amplify it and post it on my blog! Sorry if its not great…

IΒ hear this phrase a lot. ” The next generation is weak”. I hear this and i wonder, why is our generation weak? It is because of education? Is it because of the way we are brought up? or is it because of the previous generation?

The word ‘teenagers’ has not been in existence for very long. It was first recorded in a Reader’s Digest in 1941. This means that less than a century ago, ‘teenagers’ are counted as adults! In Rurouni Kenshin, i learned that in the meiji era of Japan, once a male turns 15 they are considered as a full grown man. Apparently, its called, genpuku! Hahaha! Jokes aside, it would mean that teenagers are meant for more! There shouldn’t be a stage of their lives when they have a body of an adult but responsibilities of a child.

Teenagers face the problem of Commitment. They simply would not stick to their responsibilities. This applies to work, relationships etc etc. People may want to try everything before settling, but it is practically impossible to try everything. And when will you commit? If people would just settle down and commit to one thing, even if they get discouraged, they will have the drive to continue and press on. This will allow them to grow and become a stronger generation.

I shall write about another problem. This was empathised quite a bit in the book! Teenagers often face low expectations from adults. Parents only expect their children to finish their homework on time, clean their room and maybe do some house chores. Adults should guide us to be a stronger generation! Proverbs 19:2 says, it is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor be hasty and miss the way. If we have heart to do work, but no one to teach us, it would not be good for us. Getting put down with low expectations, would just limit the generation’s ability to grow! Of course, we have our responsibility to try our best, but we need guidance too! πŸ˜€

I have the blessing of amazing mentors! I give God thanks for them and i hope to be one one day! I hope this will motivate you to be a teenager taking up responsibilities or a leader that believes in the next generation!

-Kelvin-

=8= Unclassified: Scared and Lost

This is probably a walk home that i would not be able to forget… Taking my usual bus home and i started reading the book i have just received. After i read a few pages i fell asleep on the bus. When i woke up and looked out the window, i couldn’t recognise the road! I freaked out, I immediately got off the bus.

It was already 11.30, but the shock of missing my stop woke me up instantly. I began to run. Fortunately, there was a road sign at the junction which stated a road name that i knew. But somehow the road at the opposite way seems more familiar and so i decided to take that path. After crossing the road and noticing a school that i have never seen before, i turned around and run towards the right direction.

As i took that dark and lonely path, i doubted if it really is the right path. I wished i had a smart phone. I stopped running and started to walk. At this point, though i was still walking, i given up, i kept asking God to lead me to the right path. Kept asking and kept asking, but no matter how hard i asked, i still worried and was scared…
A cab went past me. I was contemplating taking a cab home, since it was so late, but i managed to convince myself not to, after all, all i had was $10, and the midnight charges is really expensive. So with only $10, no water, no energy, no smartphone, i simply walked.

After a while, i saw the mall near my house. I was delighted! Awesome! I did not go to the wrong path! I was giving thanks to God to bring me home safely. So many things could have went wrong, but it didn’t! If I hadn’t wake up at that road, i would have been more lost, i could be on the other side of Singapore. If i continued walking towards the wrong direction, i would have been even more tired and lost. If i decided to take the cab…. well, not much of a bad thing here other than getting a huge hole in my wallet, but the worse that could happen would be that we both get lost! πŸ˜€

Well, it has given me some perspective to things. what if that is the reason people backslide in church? That they were on the right direction at first, but they missed their stop. They panic and try to get to the right stop again, but it gets them even more lost. They walk and run, but after a while, they get tired and they just give up. This occurrence was really scary. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through this, but i hope you understand how scary being scared and lost really is.

-Kelvin-

=7= Days To Remember: Bittersweet

Today was such a bittersweet day. Well, it started as any normal school day where i would take the shuttle bus to school and walk to class, but today i lost my phone…. i ran to the student services office to report, ran back and used my friend’s phone to call the shuttle bus company and finally settle down to compose myself for my speech.

My Speech went well, not as well as i would have wanted, but definitely better than expected, Let me run through my slides one by one with you!

Activity!
Activity!

Well, here i actually asked my class an awkward question, ‘At what age do you want to get married? Now subtract your current age!’ Then, to get them to realise the value of time i gave them some stats! So you can match the number to the answer you got from the question!
6 – You would have entered and completed the whole of Primary School
7 – How long ‘Twitter’ was in existence
8 – How long ‘Bad Day’ by Daniel Powter was released until now.
9 – How long Lee Hsien Long was our prime minister
10 – The legal age to be a Pokemon Trainer
11 – Birth to Primary 5, just imagine, when you get married the babies today will be 11 years old….
12 – You would have went though the entire Zodiac cycle once

I love the photo! :P
I love the photo! πŸ˜›

SO in case you still have no idea where am i headed to, i am talking about Dating and the bad habits to avoid.

Like God, ministry, studies and work
Like God, ministry, studies and work

People often say, ‘Love is all we need!’ Trust me, that is really ridiculous. If you sincerely love someone, you would devote yourself to make her happy and give her a stable life! Not being lazy and not getting a job. This is very fatal, What if your future is affected and you couldn’t support your wife, due to your own negligence?

like wife's parents, your own family etc etc
like wife’s parents, your own family etc etc

In many Chinese dramas, there is conflict between the in-laws. Why? Because they neglected forming a heathy relationship with their spouse’s parents. Hey, they brought up your wife for at least half their lives! Shouldn’t you be more respectful and grateful to them? What if you fight with your husband? You would not have no one to turn to… Because you are not comfortable talking to your own parents, your friends feels awkward after not talking to you after so long. Guys, this is an easier thing to do, do not be exclusive, be inclusive.

Read the diagram!
Read the diagram!

This is important because, in friendship, you are not pressured to be someone different,You can do crazy things and not be judged… ok, maybe you will be judged, but your friends with accept you! And it is through friendship that you can really see a person’s character!

Sounds familiar?
Sounds familiar?

It is all too easy to be someone you are not when you date. That is why people tend to feel like they do not really know who their wife/husbands really are. Hope you look for the the things that will last and not just looks! πŸ™‚

Slide7

Over here i recommended reading Joshua Harris’ book! This book is really worth reading!

Oh well, this bittersweet day was nice. But i sincerely hope i will get back my phone…
hope this has blessed you one way or another! πŸ˜€

-Kelvin-

=6= Melancholic Reflections: Parenting

Well, the trigger to this post was the scene of my cousin kicking my uncle. My uncle went to check on his son, but he responded with a kick to my uncle, in a place where is really painful… My uncle responded by scolding and hitting him to discipline him.

I kept quiet throughout the whole scene, not because I felt that it was right, not because I was afraid, but because I am in no position to lecture my uncle. I am not even half his age, I have not experience half his life. I was not brought up the same way as my uncle, but is sparing the rod really spoiling the child? Will using the rod help the child?

So which is better? Disciplining your child with physical punishment or by other methods? I read about the the gift of pain from Philip Yancey’s ‘Where is God when it hurts’ that pain is something that is really important! It acts like a warning system telling people how much pressure is too much pressure, protecting us. Dr Brand, an expert on leprosy, when he tries to duplicate artificially the pain system, found that nothing works like pain. He tried using a buzzer, people hardly notices it after a while. Flashing lights, the person could still easily ignore it. He even tried electrical charges, but the user could simply turn the system off! To learn where and when to stop it has to hurt! And beyond our own choice. But is physical punishment better for our children?

My parents don’t believe in physical punishment, because of that I do not have an upbringing where my parents would hit me. But whenever they are disappointed with me, I will get the message. I would know that what I did was wrong. But the difference is this, even though I know it’s wrong, it never hurt me physically but it did hurt emotionally knowing that I disappointed my parents.

I am nowhere near parenthood and sometimes I still feel that my parents could something’s different. Looks like thinking we know it all is a characteristic of teenagers… 😦 looking at what the Bible says is what I am going to attempt now.

Teach children in a way that fits their needs, and even when they are old, they will not leave the right path. (Proverbs 22:6 ERV)
– Teach them in a way that help them to learn what they need to learn

Punishment and discipline can make children wise, but children who are never corrected will bring shame to their mother. (Proverbs 29:15 ERV)
– You should correct your child, do not be passive!

Fathers, don’t upset your children. If you are too hard to please, they might want to stop trying. (Colossians 3:21 ERV)
– But you shouldn’t upset your child

I believe the clearest is this
In the same way, tell the young men to be wise. You should be an example for them in every way by the good things you do. When you teach, be honest and serious. And your teaching should be clearly right so that you cannot be criticized. Then anyone who is against you will be ashamed. There will not be anything bad they can say about us. (Titus 2:6-8 ERV)
– Be a good example, teach the right thing, and honestly!

Well, I don’t know how would I react when my child hits me, but all I know is this, I need to discipline my child, whatever the method, but to do so I need to be a good example to them, but at the same time I should not discourage them. I guess when the time comes, I will be able to tell u guys about what method I have chosen to discipline my children! πŸ™‚

Hope you have been blessed! Lets be prepared to be a good parent! πŸ˜€

-Kelvin-

=5= Melancholic Reflections: Blessings

Blessing are things that God has given us. Well, but the ability to be able to see them is up to the person. But like i said, because its based on a person’s perception, One might mistake something bad to be a blessing from God. For example, someone who likes alcohol, when they get a free drink, is that really a blessing?

For we are all beingsΒ of need, we need Air, Water, Food, Hope and Worth, if we are not blessed then why are we still alive?
I don’t know why people find themselves pitiful over small little things, while so many children are born in places where people are starving, dying and being forced to do what they do not want to do. I thank God that i was born in Singapore, and not in Africa where i will be hungry, not in Afghanistan where wars are, not in places with natural disasters. I have my life safe in Singapore.

However, Physical brokenness isn’t anything like emotional brokenness. People who has been through emotional brokenness will treasure physical blessings even more. People who has been through bad family relationships, went through loneliness will really treasure what they have. They will understand that what they have on the hands are temporal, and they will focus on the more permanent things.

Jesus himself did not exempt himself from suffering. He suffered willingly to save me. No matter how broken i am He would save me. No matter how useless i am, He would save me! And because of that, we can take heart that when we go through spiritual battles, we aren’t going through it alone. We are going through this with a God who knows how is it like to live like a human to suffer like a human to die like one.

But I am not saying that i have this ultimate power to discern from blessings and fake blessings, but i would think that the most important thing in my life are my relationships with people. People are both physical and emotional blessings. When going through a tough time, what could be more of a comfort than the presence of your loved ones, beside you, supporting you? If Jesus Dwells in every single one of us, then wouldn’t the famous Les Miserables line ‘Loving another person is like seeing the face of God’ be true?

I know this post wasn’t written like i normally would have, this was to show how much i take this seriously. God has blessed me, that much i know. But the real important question is this, can i see it everyday? I recommend writing down all your blessing everyday. After a few months, you will be able to see how much God has blessed you. This shows you how faithful God really is when the time gets tough. When the time isn’t tough, God is there when the time gets tough, the tough doesn’t get going, God gets you going.

I hope this post on blessing will help you(I realised that i use ‘hope this has blessed you’ a lot…) Help you to be able to see God’s faithfulness in your life!

-Kelvin-

Just a man struggling to live a God led life in a God strayed world